Hey guys,
I've meet a guy from Finland on fb. We have been talking for 10 months everyday, texting , sometimes facetiming even if it didn't work all the time because of bad connection . We were in the beginning just friends , then it developed to more. We started flirting then being more intimate. He is a nice well educated guy, kind , sweet , cultivated, respectful . He has helped me go through bad times. We are so close to each other. We have agreed we are more than friends but never said we are a couple . Although , it was moving slowly to that. We didn't want to rush things. I really want us to be together though , I really really like him a lot . Because of work and studying, I didn't have much time to travel so we can meet , he neither , but he said he may come February after he gets the new job. He opened up about his chronic desease and said if I was ok with that. I told him i'm Christian and I wanna save sex for marriage , he said he is sad we can't do it but he likes me the way i'm.He has said so many times, he doesn't wanna meet any girl because he wanna be only with me. 2 days ago , he told me I have to go out and meet guys, get a bf and be happy. He totally choked me. He said we can't be together  and he can't imagine himself with me for the rest of his life. He said we are living so far away from each other and each of us stuck in his country for almost some few more years, it is unlikely for us to be together, and he feels getting old (29 years old). He said he doesn't want me to be surprised if he ever finds a gf and doesn't wanna loose my friendship because of that. He was sorry he hurts me like that but he has to be realistic.
I'm heartbroken , wounded , feeling unwanted and blaming myself if I ever gave him attention more than he deserves because he Means a lot to me. My life right now is very though, he was the only person keeping me smiling and hoping for the best. I really want us to be together because we can solve that distance problem. I feel bad, I barely fight through the hard work, study and not showing all what I feel inside so my mum who has bipolar trouble doesn't get influenced , because every stress she has makes her not taking her pills and making my life even more difficult. That relationship was like a light life gave me and helps me to go through darkness. I'm hurt, weak and lost. Today, it's his birthday . He is maybe somewhere partying, hasn't talked much to me these days, while i'm here blaming myself why I got too attached and fighting against to move one. Guys , it is soo hard !!
I've meet a guy from Finland on fb. We have been talking for 10 months everyday, texting , sometimes facetiming even if it didn't work all the time because of bad connection . We were in the beginning just friends , then it developed to more. We started flirting then being more intimate. He is a nice well educated guy, kind , sweet , cultivated, respectful . He has helped me go through bad times. We are so close to each other. We have agreed we are more than friends but never said we are a couple . Although , it was moving slowly to that. We didn't want to rush things. I really want us to be together though , I really really like him a lot . Because of work and studying, I didn't have much time to travel so we can meet , he neither , but he said he may come February after he gets the new job. He opened up about his chronic desease and said if I was ok with that. I told him i'm Christian and I wanna save sex for marriage , he said he is sad we can't do it but he likes me the way i'm.He has said so many times, he doesn't wanna meet any girl because he wanna be only with me. 2 days ago , he told me I have to go out and meet guys, get a bf and be happy. He totally choked me. He said we can't be together  and he can't imagine himself with me for the rest of his life. He said we are living so far away from each other and each of us stuck in his country for almost some few more years, it is unlikely for us to be together, and he feels getting old (29 years old). He said he doesn't want me to be surprised if he ever finds a gf and doesn't wanna loose my friendship because of that. He was sorry he hurts me like that but he has to be realistic.
I'm heartbroken , wounded , feeling unwanted and blaming myself if I ever gave him attention more than he deserves because he Means a lot to me. My life right now is very though, he was the only person keeping me smiling and hoping for the best. I really want us to be together because we can solve that distance problem. I feel bad, I barely fight through the hard work, study and not showing all what I feel inside so my mum who has bipolar trouble doesn't get influenced , because every stress she has makes her not taking her pills and making my life even more difficult. That relationship was like a light life gave me and helps me to go through darkness. I'm hurt, weak and lost. Today, it's his birthday . He is maybe somewhere partying, hasn't talked much to me these days, while i'm here blaming myself why I got too attached and fighting against to move one. Guys , it is soo hard !!