Help

[Enchanted Girl]

Me and my ex just had this conversation on World of Warcraft. You guys need to tell me that I need to stop getting my hopes up, even though I don't want to hear it because he would get back with me if he really wanted to and we broke-up for a reason or whatever. Because I had this conversation with him and my heart is pitter pattering and I'm being an idiot.

I need tough love right now. I seriously almost started calling him pet names in this conversation.

Him: It's you.
Me: yea
Him: How are you?
Me: How's it going?
Him: I'm fine.
Me: Me, too.
Him: I'm lonely all the time.
Him: I drink a lot.
Him: I'm depressed every day.
Me: Thank you for telling me that. I had honestly convinced myself that you didn't care at all.
Me: I'm doing about as well as you.
Me: I wake-up depressed every day.
Me: I don't drink, but I leave the house constantly.
Him: Ugh. My guilt only worsens then.
Me: I exercise a whole lot now.
Me: I've lost a lot of weight.
Me: I'm not trying to make you feel guilty.
Him: I started jogging and doing sit-ups.
Me: I just thought we were being honest with one another.
Me: Understandable. Exercise helps.
Him: We are.
Me: Honestly, when you didn't respond to my texts about the cell phone and us being friends, I thought you hadn't given two shits about me in awhile.
Him: honeysuckle. The tank died because I was talking to you. D=
Me: Sorry.
Him: It's no problem.
Him: I care a whole lot though.
Me: You'll get over it before me, that's what I'm convinced of.
Him: Any romantic interests yet?
Me: No, it's not like I can just throw what we had away.
Me: Are you sure you didn't find someone else?
Him: Yea.
Him: I was just asking.
Me: Okay.
Me: I'd like it if I could move on that fast, but seriously, YEA RIGHT.
Him: Ugh, now I'm depressed.
Me: Why?
Me: Because of what we talked about?
Him: Because I'm an enormous fuckup.
Him: Yea.
Me: What do you mean?
Him: Why the hell do you think I'm depressed?
Me: You can still talk things out with me. Remember how I told you that I'd always be here for you, even through this break-up?
Me: Sorry.
Me: Won't make you say anything you don't want to.
Me: Do you need me to log off?
Him: No.
Him: I don't.
Me: We'll get passed it, Lee. One way of another.
Him: Okay.

 

[Badjedidude]

STOP RIGHT NOW

You're letting your memories of past moments interfere with your current situation. We, as human beings, generally tend to remember only the best parts of our ex's.... especially directly after the relationship ends and you're not the one who ended it. You're always going to be thinking that MAYBE JUST MAYBE the person who broke up with you will recant, will take you back...

I know it's hard to be detached at this point. I know how difficult it is to not call him and beg him to take you back. I know how much honeysuckle you have to deal with in trying to show you still care for him as a person and friend, and yet still try to keep a safe distance from him that allows you to regain balance in your perspective on the relationship.

SO STOP.

Like you said, it ended for a reason, yes?

Ultimately the decision is yours... and there's nothing I can say to ease the fact that you're getting your hopes up. I mean... fresia, I still have twinges of misguided, stupid, completely retarded hope whenever I have random contact with my ex. And I KNOW FOR A FACT that we're never getting together again. I don't WANT to be with her again. But that feeling is still there every now and then. That doesn't mean I'm not OVER her... it means that I was with her for so long that my thought processes and my brain adapted to her presence; that's all.

It's easier if you look at it that way. Discount your twinges of hope as biological leftover from the relationship, and DO WHAT YOU KNOW HAS TO BE DONE, despite whatever you're feeling.

*HUG*

It's hard... but we're here for ya.

 

[Zak]

heh! I wish I could tell you something, but if there is something to be told, I should do it to myself first.

 

[SophiaGrace]

If he wanted to get back with you, he'd do it. He's just processing his decision now by the looks of things.

 

[Enchanted Girl]

You guys are all right.

If he wanted to get back with you, he'd do it. He's just processing his decision now by the looks of things.

Especially this, I need to remember that. He's just processing things is all.

 

[Tex Is Lost]

Me and my ex just had this conversation on World of Warcraft. You guys need to tell me that I need to stop getting my hopes up, even though I don't want to hear it because he would get back with me if he really wanted to and we broke-up for a reason or whatever.

Hey...I don't know you but..... I spent a year and a half in limbo waiting for my 1st ex to "come to her senses" and get back together.....we even saw each other on a regular basis....it was pretty stupid of me and I wasted a lot of emotional energy in reading into what she said and did. In the end, I got the hell out of Dodge...but only after a rough 18 months. My advice, RUN do not walk, to the exit. Everything will work itself out.
Now is time for standard advice: There are other fish in the sea...There is someone out there for everyone...good riddence to bad rubbish...[insert cliche here]...
Not trying to make light of your situation...it sucks, I know.

 

[discolemonade]

Here's what you have to do. Block him. From EVERYTHING. Not just 'delete', but block. No communication. He's not coming back, and it soudns like he wants someone on the back burner. Do NOT let it be you.

 

[neejau]

Sadly enough, I know the feeling. Actually still having the feeling. I think the best is just to let go of him. Life your live and do things you actually enjoy doing. Seriously, just go enjoy life ! Forget about him and all the bad things, just try to not think about him, how hard it may sound!

 

[Divzro]

Me: Do you need me to log off?

You would log off World of Warcraft for this guy?! Thats love right there...

I just wanted to play Devil advocate for a second.
1) Did he break up with you?
2) Was everything good before you broke up?

If both of those are true then the following might be valid, if not prob shouldn't even read:

I broke up with my current wife when we where dating. I broke up with her because I used to freak out. One morning I woke up and found her honeysuckle in my bathroom and she wasn't there. Then when I saw her that night I broke up with her. It took me 3 weeks for me to get through my thick skull that I was a Idiot. And that was WAY to long, it then took me 3 months to finally get her to date me again.

So take a page out of my wifes book, stop talking to him. Cut him off, but make sure he can still get in contact with you to beg and plead his way back into your heart. If he serious, he will.

*Edit*
I just wanted to add that Stormie was cold to me after I broke up with her. She made it seem like she was done, and that what made it click that I was going to lose her.

 

[Enchanted Girl]

Me: Do you need me to log off?

You would log off World of Warcraft for this guy?! Thats love right there...

I just wanted to play Devil advocate for a second.
1) Did he break up with you?
2) Was everything good before you broke up?

If both of those are true then the following might be valid, if not prob shouldn't even read:

I broke up with my current wife when we where dating. I broke up with her because I used to freak out. One morning I woke up and found her honeysuckle in my bathroom and she wasn't there. Then when I saw her that night I broke up with her. It took me 3 weeks for me to get through my thick skull that I was a Idiot. And that was WAY to long, it then took me 3 months to finally get her to date me again.

So take a page out of my wifes book, stop talking to him. Cut him off, but make sure he can still get in contact with you to beg and plead his way back into your heart. If he serious, he will.

*Edit*
I just wanted to add that Stormie was cold to me after I broke up with her. She made it seem like she was done, and that what made it click that I was going to lose her.

I wish that could possibly be the case, but it's truly over between me and him.

He broke up with me and yes, everything was good before we broke up, except for the fact that we lived across the country from one another and he thought that was an unsurmountable obstactle, which he hadn't thought was true just a day earlier and by this time has had his decision reaffirmed by everyone he knows in person. Even though I told him that I would be moving there and he didn't give me a chance to even try to do it before he decided that I couldn't.

He's cut me off completely now. He really won't talk to me at all. It's been less than two weeks since we broke off our five year relationship, but I wouldn't be surprised if he found someone new already. This is never going to happen.

Yes, a part of me still wishes it would, but it definitely isn't. It's over. Forever.

Let's just hope there's no such thing as soul mates and that I didn't just lose mine.

 

[Badjedidude]

Let's just hope there's no such thing as soul mates and that I didn't just lose mine.

Personally...

The whole "one soul mate for each person" sounds romantic and everything, but... it's not very realistic.

There are so many types of people and so many possible connections that there are a myriad of possible lovers, friends, mates, and enemies for each of us in the swarm of humanity that inhabits this planet.

So never give up. There's always someone out there willing to be with you and that's worth your time.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I've learned to move on. Just move on, keep trotting on. It took me a year and a half to figure that out. I couldn't change how or who he was no matter how much love I had for him. And there are certain things I just couldn't turn a blind eye to. I wouldn't deal with him anymore. Your heart is probably leaning towards going to him, but it's better in the long run if you don't. After a break up, it's hard to get it back to the way it was beforehand. Break ups add doubt and even more insecurities.

 

[Divzro]

Im sorry Enchanted. I believe loves greatest enemy is life and love makes life worth living, even if we are only searching for it.

I have a friend whos way into WoW, if you want me to have him make a Horde toon and punk him you just let me know =P