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brickinthewall

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Transilvania.
Hey everyone , I'm new here just signed up a few days and I have to say I'm really happy I found this forum.

My name is Michael I'm from a little country called Romania and yes I'm pretty much a lonely person. I found this forum while searching up general causes of loneliness on google ( I guess that's how most people find it) and while I read through a few threads I had a feeling of being "home" and among people that will understand me so I signed up.

A little more about me : I will be 20 years old pretty soon and a very big part of my life is music (don't know where I would be without it). I play a few instruments , my best being guitar , though I don't consider myself a musician because I don't think I'm all that good (I also post on youtube so if anyone is interested let me know). I spend a lot of time online since this seems to be the only place where I can truly connect with people and the rest of my time struggling to get into med school.

About how I ended up being the way I am , it's a pretty boring and probably common story around here but I'll write a few sentences about because I never really told anyone.

I never really was a social person but my real problems started when I was 14 and I had a huge crush on my best friend which in time grew into something more. I didn't tell her for a long time but I eventually got myself together and let her know. This was followed up by me falling into the place called "friend zone" and I just have to say that the following years were the worst years of my life so far. Having to see her with others tore me apart. I kept telling myself every day that it's just a crush , it will go away in a few weeks , if not a few months but it will. This went on til the day we both graduated high school and I was pretty sure this is where it stops but to my surprise it didn't. It will be 6 years now soon and nothing about the way I feel towards her has changed despite the fact that at the moment I haven't seen her for over half a year.

Emotionally speaking I have progressed a lot in these years and have learned to live with myself but it has caused me serious social issues that I will have a really hard time getting over (although I'm not even sure I want to).

I have never been in a relationship because I have only ever loved this one person enough to even try and I'm not even sure if I want a relationship at the moment because while I know I will never have her and I know this sounds seriously crazy , I want to stay loyal to her until the day all of my feelings for her are gone.

Sorry for writing such a long post but I'm not usually a person to talk about my feelings and about myself in general and I thought it could be helpful to talk about it with people that have similar situations to mine.

It's good to be here and thanks to everyone. Also sorry if some things I say don't make sense but english isn't my native language so I sometimes mess up sentences.
 
Hey brickinthewall slash Michael! My name is Odessa and your English is prefectly fine, in my humble opinion. Hey what's your youtube account? I wanna subscribe! I feel awful about your "crush." I had one too in high school but I was way too shy to talk to him. So i pined for him for 6 years beginning in middle school. So how's Romania like? The only imagery in my head of Romania are castles and vampires. And lots of snow. I've been in the friend zone lots of time and quite honestly I've put others there, too.
 
Hey Odessa and Mary.

I'll answer your questions in order:

Here is a link to my youtube account: http://www.youtube.com/user/peleul It's not all that good most of them is really old stuff haven't uploaded in quite a while due to lack of inspiration.

Now regarding Romania...I can say it's a pretty beautiful country although the people here mostly ruin it. We have quite a few castles but no vampires in them as far as I can tell (than again , who knows?). Most of the population is still suffering from the aftermath of communism hence why a lot of people don't really have an open mind towards new or different things (think this might be part of my problem). Still I'm sure there are a lot of nice people around here somewhere.
Regarding the snow - it's not as snowy as you may think , we are having a pretty rough winter at the moment but this is one of the few we've had the past years.

Good to meet everyone again , if you have any questions , ask ,I promise I will do by best to answer them!

EDIT : only cover I actually like from my channel is Pink Floyd's Shine on you Crazy Diamond , although it isn't very good because I get really nervous in front of the camera , it's the one I'm most proud of. (There's 2 , the newer one is the one I'm talking about)

 
Hi, I just subscribe to your youtube channel. You've got lots of awesome covers including my all time favourite life song, comfortably numb. lol Think Imma spending some time on your channel for awhile ^^ Thanks for sharing
 
brickinthewall said:
Thanks , but that comfortably numb cover was more just fooling around lol I'll probably upload a proper version of it soon.

haha yeah, was listening to the latest post when I wrote this and just saw comfortably numb on your list. well anyway, your damien rice cover was cool :)
 

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