Hey

[Seriph]

Hey, I'm a new member. I came here because I have reached rock bottom in my life. I don't know how to express how I feel and I suppose this is my desperate attempt to get some sort of support. I am 17 years old and I live in Ohio. I don't have the ability to seek therapy and I've even considered faking a suicide attempt to get help. I am not suicidal but I feel like I want to die. I am a lonely person and I realize I need to be happy with that. My family has abandoned me and I have major self esteem, social, and self forgiveness issues. Thank you for reading.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Welcome.

First, DO NOT fake a suicide attempt to get help, that is the worst possible thing you could ever do. I had a friend who did this, she lied about a lot of things and lost all of her friends. It made so many people mad at her. That is something you do not do.

Second, there are quite a few new members around your age who are going through the same thing. Feel like I've been doing a lot of "you're a teenager, you're still young" talk this week. Teenage years are where you are expected to grow up and figure out what you want to do with your life. While all you want to do is party, socialize, and just have fun.

Your family might have abandoned you because they don't know what else to do. I doubt you make it easy on them either, as teenagers we can be very resentful, moody, and just pains in the butt. Have you ever told them "You don't understand me"? You do have access to therapy, a lot of communities have outreach programs for teenagers, your school might have them too. All you have to do is ask.

To me, the first thing you need to start working on is this self forgiveness issue you have. Whatever it is, you have to get over it, we all screw up and do things we regret. You obviously realize that there is something you've done/do and that is a good thing. We make mistakes, we learn from them. One of my favorite lines from a movie is from Batman Begins, when Bruce Wayne is a little kid and his father asks him, "Why do we fall? So that we can learn to pick ourselves back up."

 

[Seriph]

I don't live with my parents anymore. I suffered verbal, physical, and sexual abuse from them. I meant that I have considered faking suicide before as an irrational thought. I do not want to hurt myself or anybody. I don't want to party, I don't like to socialize and I don't have time for fun. My family abandoned me because they didn't have the ability to care of a child.

 

[Seriph]

I don't live with my parents anymore. I suffered verbal, physical, and sexual abuse from them. I meant that I have considered faking suicide before as an irrational thought. I do not want to hurt myself or anybody. I don't want to party, I don't like to socialize and I don't have time for fun. My family abandoned me because they didn't have the ability to care of a child.

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I appreciate the response and I'm not sure why it keeps double posting my posts.

 

[lonelyfairy]

Hi, welcome to the forum!

Sad to hear that you have had been hard times. I think parents never should to reject their own child.. :/

I hope you feel less lonely here and everything goes better in your life.

 

[Jesse]

Your family might have abandoned you because they don't know what else to do. I doubt you make it easy on them either, as teenagers we can be very resentful, moody, and just pains in the butt. Have you ever told them "You don't understand me"? You do have access to therapy, a lot of communities have outreach programs for teenagers, your school might have them too. All you have to do is ask.

To me, the first thing you need to start working on is this self forgiveness issue you have. Whatever it is, you have to get over it, we all screw up and do things we regret. You obviously realize that there is something you've done/do and that is a good thing. We make mistakes, we learn from them. One of my favorite lines from a movie is from Batman Begins, when Bruce Wayne is a little kid and his father asks him, "Why do we fall? So that we can learn to pick ourselves back up."

Hi Sci-Fi,

Seriph is my younger brother. I know a great deal about his personal story and he has gone through quite a lot. He has never done anything against his parents but seek love from them. We have the same mom, but his dad is my stepdad.

His dad is an alcoholic, abusive person. He most likely hates himself, which is why he took it out on my brother and I. Our mom has been abused for several years by my stepdad and isnt really "there". They have hardly provided him anything at all. He has no cell phone or car and isn't even allowed to go to church. He's not permitted to have a social life, because his father is worried about him revealing the truth to others. They've taken him to several psychologists, but once they learned that Matthew was telling them the truth about his parents, they took him away and wouldn't let him go back. Now they won't take him to a doctor at all because they're afraid the truth of their abuse will come to light.

Seriph's parents won't provide him with food or clothing and I've personally had to take care of him as best as I can. I'm just his brother, but I've basically had to be a provider for him. I'm the only one who will drive him to youth group at church, or take him places.

I can vouch for Seriph. He isn't the typical spoiled, rebellious teenager. He's a loving, respectful person who has only ever been rewarded with hate. His father has called him several destructive names and has abused him sexually as well. Seriph has been through more than a lot of adults have and was pretty much robbed of a childhood.

I think maybe if he wrote his entire story on here, members might really get a picture into his mind. He's a good person suffering from years of extreme abuse. I hope he can find healing. His self-forgiveness issue is a result of abuse. He is trying to understand why his parents would treat him this way as they really have no reason to. Because he's been treated so badly, it's a natural psychological reaction for him to feel guilty or ashamed of himself. He blames himself for things because it's the only way he can rationalize their behavior towards him.

Thanks for trying to help him. I thought I'd post to give a bigger picture of his background. If you'd like to see into the situation further, you could read my story. I've been through a lot of the same stuff that he has...abuse from my stepfather. The link to my story is in my profile.

 

[I'm Fine]

*hugs to both Seriph and Jesse*

I'm so sorry that you've both been through such horrible things. Parents should never do such things to their children, but then I guess you know that. Obviously you would be better off if someone in authority could come and make things better - take you away from the situation and look after you as you should be looked after, as well as give you the counselling that you will, doubtless, require. Unfortunately I can't promise you that. What I CAN say is that there are people here who will willingly listen if you want to talk - myself included. It's not much but it's something. I only hope it can help.

Good luck and Take care.

 

[I'm Fine]

sorry - it keeps double posting since I updated IE. I'll try and remember to do the full reply in future since that seems to help. sorry.