how can I be happy

[Haz]

every day is a constant struggle for me trying to balance my emotions

it has become evident to me that no matter how good things are going, I am just constantly feeling depressed and tired. some days are wonderful, but even if there is no immediate threat to my livelihood I just feel like something bad is gonna happen.

sometimes I get it together in a routine where I can manage things, but my sleeping problems ruin it for me time and time again. I can't face the people at work where i'm expected to perform and I just find myself grumpy and irritable all the time. I can't tell them how I am feeling and i'm afraid one day i'll end up losing my job

 

[VanillaCreme]

No one can tell you how to be happy. Nor do you need permission from anyone or anything. I think it's a bit of understanding for yourself and relaxing about who you are.

 

[Adrolak]

I agree with nilla, with this it seems that you're trying to control your emotions TOO MUCH! Perhaps what you need is to just completely let go of controlling them, even if it's just for a day or two, and emotionally recalibrate yourself, that way you can start fresh and with the right mindset, allowing you to know how to make yourself happy.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Indeed, Adro. When people stop worrying so much, it turns out better. Things will be okay.

 

[Soup]

Do you two know of a way to stop worrying? Keep your mind occupied is one way... but you can't do that all the time...

 

[PurpleDays]

One thing to make you happy - Haz is my name too

 

[Luna]

Have you looked into your sleeping problems?
It might be a start for you to feeling better.
We all strive towards happiness, but it's up to each of us to find what makes us happy as happiness is different from one person to the next.
You just got to keep on chugging along and always work towards progress.
It's not easy, but you'll get there eventually if you keep your head up.

 

[walkman]

How can you be happy HAZ?? Do you think we have the answers?? We may give you varied recommnedations, but that may even confuse you further. Ask yourself, how can you be happy. Take some action on it, any action that breaks your routine, but just don't let your mind tell you that you are alone in this.

 

[Haz]

I can't stand sitting here at 3 am looking at the clock wishing I was asleep so I can have a full day tomorrow rather than be afraid i'm gonna sleep through my alarm again and wake up in the middle of the day and miss out on everything. I have study I have to keep on top of and I keep pushing it off until the last minute, which is when the honeysuckle really starts to fly. I start thinking why is life worth living if it is this pointless struggle to sleep, over and over.

It's mainly my sleep. My rhythms just don't work for me, I work all the time and it's kind of hard to let go of controlling my emotions as what has been suggested here because i'll probably end up killing someone. I've seen a doctor who doesn't think it is serious enough for medication, but idk.

 

[walkman]

I can't stand sitting here at 3 am looking at the clock wishing I was asleep so I can have a full day tomorrow rather than be afraid i'm gonna sleep through my alarm again and wake up in the middle of the day and miss out on everything. I have study I have to keep on top of and I keep pushing it off until the last minute, which is when the honeysuckle really starts to fly. I start thinking why is life worth living if it is this pointless struggle to sleep, over and over.

It's mainly my sleep. My rhythms just don't work for me, I work all the time and it's kind of hard to let go of controlling my emotions as what has been suggested here because i'll probably end up killing someone. I've seen a doctor who doesn't think it is serious enough for medication, but idk.

Well, I feel like it's me when I read you. I struggle with asyncronised sleeping patterns. But Haz, don't let the frustration get you. I'll tell you, it's all because of your thinking and the daily routine that comes out of that way of thinking. When the outer routine break somehow, the sleeping pattern will try to revert to it's natural one. Nature always gives chances.

Most people don't get enough sleep, like insomniacs, because of the constant drone of some worry and emotional storms. So some end up sleeping more, because they'd like to escape thier thinking and emotions. But escape does not work in the long term. If you struggle with that thinking, it'll only make it worse.

I don't know what doctor you went to, who could not see it as serious, cuz I think it is serious if you are clearly strugging badly (to the point of asking what's the point of living?). If it's 3 am, just try to sleep 1 hour early, and add 15 minutes to it every day. So gradually you'll get to sleep at some manageable time. Don't make drastic steps. Just something of the top of my head.

mail me if it works
take care