How could this be?

[Sunshine1020]

God has blessed me with the most amazing family and friends a girl could ever wish for. On top of that, I have found the love of my life who in turn has become my best friend. With all this being said , I feel like I am the most loneliest person ever. How could this be?

 

[thenameIwanthasgone]

...

 

[Sunshine1020]

We can be friends and I'm sure your never alone!

 

[Ox Blood]

First, I just wanted to say welcome to the forum.

Second, I think it's awesome that you seem to have a strong support network.
But it seems like there is some stuff you left out... What do you believe makes you feel lonely?
Do you feel unable to open up, or it is a general emptiness -- like something is missing?

It's possible to be surrounded by loved ones and close friends but still feel alone or misunderstood.
Sometimes the "picture-perfect" life isn't so perfect as you unravel the layers.

 

[Ashariel]

Welcome Sunshine!

I have often wondered the same thing... It seems that loneliness might be a state of mind, rather than a reality. I personally feel the most lonely when I'm surrounded by people, but feel so very different from them. I don't tend to feel lonely when I'm actually alone though!

What do you feel is missing, or isn't being fulfilled? Sorry you're feeling lonely! *hugs*

 

[Sunshine1020]

So obviously I did leave a few things out. I do have a strong support system when it comes to my family. My friends (in my mind) not so much. I graduated from college, have an awesome job, and getting married in October. Things should be simple. My family has this image of me that I don't do anything wrong and that I'm a good kid. In reality I have done bad things and I have a problem with cheating that obviously no one knows about. (please please don't judge me or stop talking to because of that). I don't know why I do it because I am happy with my fiancé. It's almost like I live a secret little life in my head.

My friends have always been there when I needed them to be but I feel like I do so much more for them then would ever do for me. My fiancé makes good money and every time someone needed help I was always there to help because in my mind I thought they would do the same for me. Needless to say, my fiancé got laid off a couple of months ago and we are struggling to make ends meet. Where are all the friends that I've helped? No where to be found

 

[Dixon]

Yes,
I agree with you..it is really a state of mind.
I was too discontented when I was with my family.once its broken,I am living alone but knowing the meaning of life.
I suffered a lot from loneliness more than a year and now feeling more fulfilled.
I do meditation, people got their goal fulfilled when they are alone.
Crowd never give the satisfaction,it creates violence within the soul.
Dix

 

[Ox Blood]

So obviously I did leave a few things out. I do have a strong support system when it comes to my family. My friends (in my mind) not so much. I graduated from college, have an awesome job, and getting married in October. Things should be simple. My family has this image of me that I don't do anything wrong and that I'm a good kid. In reality I have done bad things and I have a problem with cheating that obviously no one knows about. (please please don't judge me or stop talking to because of that). I don't know why I do it because I am happy with my fiancé. It's almost like I live a secret little life in my head.

My friends have always been there when I needed them to be but I feel like I do so much more for them then would ever do for me. My fiancé makes good money and every time someone needed help I was always there to help because in my mind I thought they would do the same for me. Needless to say, my fiancé got laid off a couple of months ago and we are struggling to make ends meet. Where are all the friends that I've helped? No where to be found

Family will always want to think the best of you... But, I know what kind of pressure that can put you under to be "perfect". Speaking from experience, there is only so much that you can take before you rebel and "snap".

As for your "friends"... All you can really do is chalk it up to a lesson-learned. People are never as peachy-keen on returning favors. The rule of thumb is: When you give something -- expect nothing in return. Or, if it is a loan, then get it in writing so you are prepared to go to court if things don't pan out. And if they get bent out of shape over it and prattle on about "trust issues", they probably had no intentions on paying you back anyway.

Now, as for the cheating thing... No one on this forum, nor myself, is in a position to judge you for that. As someone who has been dishonest, but also having been cheated on in a former relationship -- if there is one thing I've learned: The truth always comes out. Always. Or it will eat you alive until you confess. Or worse, he will find out on his own. You already know, deep down, that it's not right. He has a right to know, especially if he intends to marry you.

And as someone who's been put through the heartache of being cheated on... I felt ultimately more betrayed that I had to find out on my own. It broke my heart.

I really do think you should check around for discounted counselors... You sound like you could really use the guidance, since this seems to be such a difficult juncture in your life. You really do need to talk with someone about the difficulties/stresses you are under, but also on how to approach the situation regarding your relationship as well.

 

[gnome3]

God has blessed me with the most amazing family and friends a girl could ever wish for. On top of that, I have found the love of my life who in turn has become my best friend. With all this being said , I feel like I am the most loneliest person ever. How could this be?

This is something that I can relate to. I can have friends & family around, and yet still have feelings of loneliness. I can be in a crowded room, yet feel lonely. I can also have a feeling that something is wrong when really nothing is wrong. I don't quite know what the fix is to this except to ride it out, and maybe say to myself, "Self, it's only a feeling - This too shall pass.", and it usually does for a while. I also feel that I'm not as normal as others or that I'm not accepted by co-workers, and the such.
So (sigh), you may be lonely, but you're certainly not alone in your feelings of loneliness. Much compassion for you. I do hope that you find your answer, for the answer is within you.

 

[ardour]

God has blessed me with the most amazing family and friends a girl could ever wish for. On top of that, I have found the love of my life who in turn has become my best friend. With all this being said , I feel like I am the most loneliest person ever. How could this be?

I have maybe one friend and have never had a relationship at 33. Maybe you suffer from some sort of depression, but you're certainly not alone unless your count your family and girlfriend for nothing.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

yeah....I guess we're sick as our secrets.
All the negative emotions you're feeling kind of feed on itself
and...you're off into more negative crap to focus upon....

There's only so much guilt you're going to be able to bare.
God can forgive you. Your finace can forgive you. The world
can forgive You. You can also forgive others.

There's no gaRantee your fiance will forgive you...I believe you know this already.

It's like another ball of wax when it comes to self forgivness.

You cant change the past...so dont even try to fix it.
WhT'S done is done...

You can only make adjustments for making mistakes
and try not to repeat the same mistakes over and over again.
Some of us are slow learner and fast forgetters.lol
And you're gonna make plenty more of mistakes in your life...
Big ones too..So dont trip on that.
Can you allow yourself to love yourself unconditionally?

I cant really give you advice on how to go about it with your
fiance.....Infidlity is like, holy WOW man !!!!
You have got to be kidding me!!!
Oh honeysuckle,...F you!! , now i have to wrry about std.
Stuff like that man.
You never know how she's going to react. Its gonna hurt her
Thats forsure.....

One thing I do know is...I must be honest with me first and formost.
Live in my own skin.

There's lots to consider..So we must wieght out all the pros and cons.

If you like being in the company of various women...Then stay single
and date lots of different women. So you dont have to deal with all this guilt and shame.
Yes, i know...while you might get a variety...Its not the same
as having consistent pussy all the time.
Every now and then hunting season totally sucks ass
and i get rather lazy....

If you wish to make a committment to your fiance and you feel
you're ready to make such a commitment..Then do so.
And of course...you gatta know how or learn how to fall in love
with her over and over and over again...Like rediscoverying
her.

Tread gently....
Maybe just focus on forgiving yourself first.
Get that positive feeling and light back into you first.
Find peace and harmony within yourself.
Get right with yourself. Get right with GOD...then get right with your fiance.