How do you all deal with Anger?

[TheSkaFish]

When my father abused me and kicked me out at 15, leaving me alone and homeless in the world, I got angry. I used that anger to help get me through cold winter nights on the street.....

See, every time life kicks my ass, I get up and do something about it! Because a boy complains, and a man fights for what he wants out of life.

Wow Locke, I mean, I must say you have been through a lot worse things than I have so far. I mean, my life so far has not been in any kind of immediate danger from the elements or anything like that. And fortunately I have not yet been kicked out. I also have to say you've gotten through more than I have and stayed sane. Thankfully no one has ever beaten me up. One, for the obvious reason. Two, if they did, I would not be able to think about anything but vengeance until I got it.

But anyway I'm sure that's not the point. Specifically, what did you do about it to keep from slipping into a rage? What did you wind up doing instead?

You're right in saying that "a boy complains and a man fights for what he wants in life". When I look back on today I pretty much wasted all of it complaining and it's not a good feeling. I guess the things that get me are that sometimes, actually all the time, I can't help but wonder - what if the rest of my life will just be all fight? Like, I'll just never get there. The rest of my life will be an uphill battle and I'll never win. I don't think I would kill myself and I don't think I would ever act on some of my more violent wishes, even though sometimes I'd certainly like to. No. Most likely, most of the time I feel that whether I fight for what I want in life or not, it will be no use. I worry that I'll never arrive at my desired destination.

You, and everyone say I should find someone who loves me for who I am instead of trying to get the girl I want. What if someday I do meet someone who would love me for who I am - but I don't love them? Then what? That's all I get, so if it turns out I'm not impressed, I just get to go without then. I just don't think the kind of girl I'd attract would be someone I'd actually want. I certainly would not be attracting them on purpose. I think I would attract someone nice, but homely and not very bright or exciting. That's just the way it seems it will be based on who is available and how I can't ever attract anyone I want. And then I'd either get angry and be alone, or I'd just get complacent and comfortable with this person I don't much care for, always wishing I could have gotten what I wanted instead and wishing I could be somewhere else.

People actually do care about you here you know. You could use that care and support to your advantage, just as you can use that misplaced anger. Will you Ska? Will you stand up with me, stop talking about the same things, and carry on? Will you find the strength and determination to improve yourself and your life? That strength is within you, but if you're short I'll lend you some of mine.

I don't know. I am short on this strength, I suppose. But even improving myself and my life seems so futile. What can I do to change what I get? What good will it do? It doesn't seem like anything I do will ever be enough to get anywhere I want to be.

---

Have you met all the single women in the whole wide world? I don't think so.. so I don't think you should judge and assume this is how it will be with all the women you'd meet in the future. I haven't said this before, but others have, but right now I find that kinda insulting, the way you see women out there. I understand where you're coming from, but if you don't change this mindset, it's not going to get you anywhere, dude.

I've met enough of them to know that there are very few who have the traits that I want. And I can't seem to be good enough for them so all that's left are the rest. Other guys get to be with their dream girl so why can't I do it too? Meanwhile, my whole life I'll either be alone or with someone who is "just okay" and wishing every day I could have just gotten what I want, only to wake up to shitty, boring reality day in and day out desperately wishing the one I want would take me away.

We're here for you. Not to drive you crazy, but to try to get you to see what we have experienced ourselves in life. It doesn't end where you think it ends. We all think that at some point when something breaks us.. but somehow it brings us somewhere else in life.

Yea, it's going to bring me to a dull life, that's what. I hate to do this to you but unfortunately, yes, I do think this is where it ends for me. I can't get the ones i want so all that's left is someone boring and unexciting and that's all I get because it's a bad boy's world and I'm just living in it. It seems so futile.

 

[Locke]

One of the major differences between you and I is that you're more concerned with getting back at people who don't give a honeysuckle one way or another. I go on with my life, and I know for a fact that I'm better off than all those people who wronged me.

You can't predict the future. You'll drive yourself crazy with the ''what if's".... I think you already have. Basically, all you're saying is "It might be futile, so why try?" All I can do is repeat myself. I don't like wasting time Ska, because there are people here who want support, but I'll say it again: Stand the fresia up and be a man! What if's are a waste of everyone's time, including yours. This girl is a waste of your time. Leave it all behind you. If you don't, you'll never be where you want or need to be.

---

Sorry for cussing so much tonight, I really did have a bad day. I was almost eaten by a bear! (I'm exaggerating a little...)

 

[ardour]

You're right in saying that "a boy complains and a man fights for what he wants in life". When I look back on today I pretty much wasted all of it complaining and it's not a good feeling. I guess the things that get me are that sometimes, actually all the time, I can't help but wonder - what if the rest of my life will just be all fight? Like, I'll just never get there. The rest of my life will be an uphill battle and I'll never win. I don't think I would kill myself and I don't think I would ever act on some of my more violent wishes, even though sometimes I'd certainly like to. No. Most likely, most of the time I feel that whether I fight for what I want in life or not, it will be no use. I worry that I'll never arrive at my desired destination.

So you want guarantees you'll get what you want while being discouraged by the prospect that the effort could be for nothing. So does everybody, everyone wants certainty. Improving your outlook will however put you in a better place, while changing nothing could lead to more crippling depression or worse. Do it as an act of self-preservation first and foremost. Maybe when you feel better you won't feel so inclined to describe people with obnoxious labels. I'm no poster child for positive thinking, but the thing that made me more positive at low points was the realization that insanity or becoming nonfunctional might be the result if I didn't.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Yea, it's going to bring me to a dull life, that's what. I hate to do this to you but unfortunately, yes, I do think this is where it ends for me. I can't get the ones i want so all that's left is someone boring and unexciting and that's all I get because it's a bad boy's world and I'm just living in it. It seems so futile.

That's really mean. Of you to judge women you've not met to be boring and unexciting. Seriously that's really low..

This isn't a bad boy's world. There are good men who live in this world who also have good things happen to them. I can only imagine how life would actually feel so insulted with you right now.

I think I'm done here.

If you seriously want to make changes in your life and find happiness again for real? I'll be here.

 

[Littlesecret]

Stop being so ******* judgmental, you do realise women are human-beings that can think for themselves? They aren't inanimate objects that men can mould and control, your whole outlook of women and relationships is completely messed. You constantly blame these "bad boys" but do you know how nuts you sound generalising people on how they look, you are discriminating people on your own messed up issues. You are doing this with both sexes too, you don't seem like a nice person, from how you talk about people you don't even know.
There is no way of getting through to you though, nearly every reply you have had is telling you how mean, judgemental and deluded you are but still you continue on this subject.
Goodluck!!!

 

[ucxb]

Skafish you need to take some time and truly truly READ peoples suggestions here... maybe you are not in a good state of mind to ABSORB such now, take a break! These 19 pages have ALOT of repetitions it's nearing trolling attributes, me thinks!

 

[Locke]

You see that Ska? You've chased away some of the most patient and understanding people on this forum. One of them is among the most patient and understanding people I've ever met. Of course, they've been reading your disrespectful comments about women who you find unattractive for months now, so I don't blame them. Maybe you don't care what anyone in this thread thinks, but you should. You should take it as a sign. You're on the wrong path man. Months of this now (from what I hear) and where has it gotten you?

I'm assuming you're a "Star Wars" fan from your avatar, so maybe you'll remember this quote:

“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”

*Shrugs* As a "Star Wars" fan, I hope you'll understand that, because you haven't gotten anything else anyone has said. You are on the Dark Side. This thread will probably get closed soon. I'm hoping that instead of making yet another one or taking the conversation to someone else's thread, you'll re-read what everyone has told you here. Think about it, all of it.

If you do make another thread like this, I won't post in it. Like I said, I hate wasting time. For your sake, I hope no one posts in it.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I'm assuming you're a "Star Wars" fan from your avatar, so maybe you'll remember this quote:

“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”

That's a good quote to remember. I've no anger nor hate for anyone, so I guess I'm good off. Maybe I should get into Star Wars. Knowing myself, I'd like the dark side anyway.

 

[Locke]

I'm assuming you're a "Star Wars" fan from your avatar, so maybe you'll remember this quote:

“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”

That's a good quote to remember. I've no anger nor hate for anyone, so I guess I'm good off. Maybe I should get into Star Wars. Knowing myself, I'd like the dark side anyway.

Yes please! More women should get into Star Wars, it makes me feel like less of a unattractive dork when I know at least a few girls like it!

But didn't you post earlier that you handle your anger by blowing honeysuckle up in GTAV? Maybe that was someone else... The thread is too long to go and check.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I'm assuming you're a "Star Wars" fan from your avatar, so maybe you'll remember this quote:

“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”

That's a good quote to remember. I've no anger nor hate for anyone, so I guess I'm good off. Maybe I should get into Star Wars. Knowing myself, I'd like the dark side anyway.

Yes please! More women should get into Star Wars, it makes me feel like less of a unattractive dork when I know at least a few girls like it!

But didn't you post earlier that you handle your anger by blowing honeysuckle up in GTAV? Maybe that was someone else... The thread is too long to go and check.

No, that was me. But GTA isn't anyone. It's something that can make even the most dedicated Rockstar lover so irate... Most of the anger I express comes from that game. Yet I still play it like the nerd that I am. My tank didn't last long anyway. Blew it up within the matter of minutes. Apparently, they've patched it to be weaker.

 

[Lowlander]

I'm assuming you're a "Star Wars" fan from your avatar, so maybe you'll remember this quote:

“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”

That's a good quote to remember. I've no anger nor hate for anyone, so I guess I'm good off. Maybe I should get into Star Wars. Knowing myself, I'd like the dark side anyway.

I used this quote a few pages back already, he didn't notice .... but will it help? Is it not yet too late to keep balance in the force? Or will the Dark win and will we have to wait for the Chosen One?

 

[Locke]

I used this quote a few pages back already, he didn't notice .... but will it help? Is it not yet too late to keep balance in the force? Or will the Dark win and will we have to wait for the Chosen One?

Someone pointed that out to me after I posted it. Lol, sorry Lowlander. It's a shame he ignored it when you posted it. If he won't listen to Yoda, who will he listen to?!

*Sigh* It's hopeless....

 

[Rainbows]

Just sayin'.

http://37.media.tumblr.com/66300fc4f54dd51280a61676ed09bd0f/tumblr_mwle6t4u1g1qb67t1o1_250.gif
http://31.media.tumblr.com/75eb050b37ddfba599637a654dd7e945/tumblr_mwle6t4u1g1qb67t1o2_250.gif

I agree with everything Locke, Ladyforsaken & Littlesecret said. May you never tell to these women that you find them oh so unattractive and so boring. Because words like those hurt and have an impact on people their selfesteem.

If you are such a nice person, why are you using the words ugly, boring and retarded to describe people? You're seriously so judgemental. Please stop.

 

[MrPaul]

Haven't viewed this thread for a few days... :my:

 

[TheSkaFish]

Well, I've slept off a lot of the hatred. I am back down to "general dislike".

It is consuming to hate someone though. It's like running a computer and having one program use all of the machine's resources and the whole thing freezes. When I'm in a state of hate, I can't function. I don't do anything but hate. I don't even want to eat. So yes, I can see how that's bad.

But the thing that gets me is that what it seems that a lot of you are saying is that I should just accept my circumstances and stop caring about what I get. You know? It's that old phrase "go with the flow". To me that's not happiness, it's apathy. I want to be happy, not apathetic.

And as far as being judgmental goes, what's worse? Everyone always says I'm horrible and mean for saying what I want, but what would you rather I do? Just put a fake smile on and pretend to be happy with someone I am not, all the while languishing in quiet desperation, wishing I could get away but knowing I never will be able to? I don't see how that is better, or a solution.

 

[Nicolelt]

But the thing that gets me is that what it seems that a lot of you are saying is that I should just accept my circumstances and stop caring about what I get. You know? It's that old phrase "go with the flow". To me that's not happiness, it's apathy. I want to be happy, not apathetic.

And as far as being judgmental goes, what's worse? Everyone always says I'm horrible and mean for saying what I want, but what would you rather I do? Just put a fake smile on and pretend to be happy with someone I am not, all the while languishing in quiet desperation, wishing I could get away but knowing I never will be able to? I don't see how that is better, or a solution.

There are things in this world you cannot change, Ska, so in those cases, yes go with the flow. honeysuckle happens, you need to more reactive in those instances, instead of proactive. If you live your life 100% proactive to every situation you are in, you are going to wear yourself out dude.

As far as judgement, have standards, there is nothing wrong with that. I too have a list of expectations in my future significant other, but they are completely achievable. Don't settle for someone you are not into. But I do agree, you can't judge someone right off the bat by who they hang with/what they are wearing/what their online dating profile say/etc.

 

[TheRealCallie]

So, I'm a little confused here. You keep asking for advice about the same thing. You take over every dating thread that gets made for your own purposes.

Yet, when people give you advice...and I hate to break it to you, but EVERYONE is giving you the SAME advice....you just ignore it and put your judgments on us, just like you do everyone else you don't know. You don't take our advice, you twist our advice into words that makes US out to be ******** and you out to be someone who should get a ******* pity party. So, why exactly do you ask for advice when you don't really want it? We aren't just going to tell you what you want to hear, but what you want to hear is not what you NEED to hear....

 

[PieBeNice]

So, I'm a little confused here. You keep asking for advice about the same thing. You take over every dating thread that gets made for your own purposes.

Yet, when people give you advice...and I hate to break it to you, but EVERYONE is giving you the SAME advice....you just ignore it and put your judgments on us, just like you do everyone else you don't know. You don't take our advice, you twist our advice into words that makes US out to be ******** and you out to be someone who should get a ******* pity party. So, why exactly do you ask for advice when you don't really want it? We aren't just going to tell you what you want to hear, but what you want to hear is not what you NEED to hear....

To be fair to him, the topic has derailed from the point of the thread: how to deal with anger, to skafish we don't recognise the legitimacy of your claim to be angry therefore you can't be angry.

To go back to the original thingy then, Skafish, have you ever tried making yourself go upside down so that your frown turns into a smile? What about writing a list of all the people you want to kill? That sounds like something you'd enjoy. How about finding a sport or hobby type thing or something new to release all worked up-ness. You'd make a pretty awesome ballerina imo.

 

[MrPaul]

So, I'm a little confused here. You keep asking for advice about the same thing. You take over every dating thread that gets made for your own purposes.

Yet, when people give you advice...and I hate to break it to you, but EVERYONE is giving you the SAME advice....you just ignore it and put your judgments on us, just like you do everyone else you don't know. You don't take our advice, you twist our advice into words that makes US out to be ******** and you out to be someone who should get a ******* pity party. So, why exactly do you ask for advice when you don't really want it? We aren't just going to tell you what you want to hear, but what you want to hear is not what you NEED to hear....

To be fair to him, the topic has derailed from the point of the thread: how to deal with anger, to skafish we don't recognise the legitimacy of your claim to be angry therefore you can't be angry.

To go back to the original thingy then, Skafish, have you ever tried making yourself go upside down so that your frown turns into a smile? What about writing a list of all the people you want to kill? That sounds like something you'd enjoy. How about finding a sport or hobby type thing or something new to release all worked up-ness. You'd make a pretty awesome ballerina imo.

Made me think of this. Just Fabulous.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Oh my, God. He seriously could have found some white socks to go with that ensemble, couldn't he have?