How do you all deal with Anger?

[Rosebolt]

Making fun of him will not do anything and only make things worse. It might be better to either leave this thread be or post something meaningful.

 

[PieBeNice]

No one is making fun of anything. We're trying to post constructive and well thought out ideas as to how to solve this aspiring ballerinas problems. If you don't want to help don't post anything yourself.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Yup. I'm done. The more I think about it the more I think I'm asking questions in the wrong place. I feel like I'm asking advice on how to become fit, in a community of obese people. So of course I'm getting answers like:

"Some people are just destined to be obese"

"It's impossible to lose weight"

"Just accept that you're fat, idiot"

How's that defeatist tripe working out for you? Is anyone here actually with the one they WANT or just the one that's just "the best they can do", and now they've just gotten complacent? Or worse yet, wanting to be with someone but gotten complacent in being alone. I hate the idea of settling. I really want to enjoy this life and make incredible times, not just fake it and go through the motions until I stop caring anymore. That's not good enough for me.

To those who genuinely wanted to help - you have my thanks. Some of you were very helpful at least some of the time. I like the idea about making a checklist and trying to analyze just exactly what I need to do to get what I want. It's sensible. I know I am difficult and can't seem to talk about what I want in a relationship without coming off as a jerk. But there are people who get what they want in this one life and I look at them and say, why can't I do it? Why not me, too?

To those who smugly told me to that I'm just not good enough, to know my role, my station - you already know how I feel about you and your defeatist crap. You already know how I feel about how you excuse and absolve the bad boys of their actual, real, criminal and unethical behavior. They get to do all kinds of stupid and horrible things, yet I am expected to just smile and love everyone, lay down and take it and say thank you sir may i have another but if I say "no" and call them out on it, I'm the monster. Because stupid SkaFish, you need to know your role and bow down to your betters! That they get to have all the fun while I just get to accept my life as a parade of dismal failures and disappointments and I should be grateful to do so. That's your "help". No thanks.

I look at you and I know it won't work for me. I don't want what you have, therefore, the things you say are of no value to me. I'm going to make it whether you like it or not.

I'm starting to feel that this isn't the right place for me. Too much passive acceptance of circumstances and not enough belief that a person can rise above their position and place. I asked for help in getting over my anger, and instead I got a lot of "the bad boys are the rightful chosen, and you are wrong. Know your role." Which of course only angered me even more. All the while I'm not doing any of the things that I said I wanted to be good at, I haven't exercised lately, I've fallen behind on other things just stewing here pissed off and getting more so from some of these smug, condescending replies. Some of you, I don't even know why you replied because you didn't help and you never do.


Rosebolt has kindly offered to help me, so I will work out the rest of this in PM with him. That is all.

 

[ardour]

You keep attributing your own sentiments to others.

For example just about the entire above post.

Who suggested anything like "the bad boys are the rightful chosen, and you are wrong. Know your role"? There's been lot of willful misinterpretation of peoples words as a projection of YOUR frustration. Why can't you see that?

 

[TheSkaFish]

You keep attributing your own sentiments to others.

For example just about the entire above post.

Who the hell suggested anything like "the bad boys are the rightful chosen, and you are wrong. Know your role"? That's a willful misinterpretation of peoples words, a projection of YOUR frustration. Why can't you see that?

It was said many times. Those were not the exact words used but that was the gist of it. That they just get to have whatever they want in life, and that guys like me have to take what we are given and if we don't like it, well then fresia us. Was it said in that way? No. Was it more or less implied? Yes.

How is your own love life doing? As I recall, you're not in much of a position to throw stones yourself. I'd guess you like kicking me because you're on the same side of the fence as me, and it makes you feel less bad about it.

But it doesn't matter. As I said, someone has offered to help me and that is what I'm doing. I'm done here.

 

[PieBeNice]

You already said that you were done here. Then you post again and finish with you're done here. K.

 

[TheSkaFish]

You already said that you were done here. Then you post again and finish with you're done here. K.

fresia off. How's that?

 

[Solivagant]

I feel like I'm asking advice on how to become fit, in a community of obese people.

You have that backwards. You want to hear that you can be healthy on a diet of doughnuts and soda because it seems like "a lucky few" eat nothing but junk and stay thin and healthy forever, but we just can't tell you that. You're destroying yourself and asking us for ideas. You're like a suicidal person asking for advice about the easiest method to die by, and everyone else is telling you not to commit suicide, but to you that's "complacent" because it doesn't get you what you want.

How's that defeatist tripe working out for you?

Again, you have it backwards. People aren't telling you to stop trying, they're just telling you to shift your focus and try something else. But you only want to try one thing. You are taking positive feedback and running with it, churning it into negative feedback in your mind.

It's like the guy who tells his wife "You look great tonight!", and you're the woman who interprets it as, "So I don't look great every night? Are you saying I'm fat? Why did you even marry me if you're not attracted to me? Maybe we should just get a divorce then because obviously I can't do anything to make you happy. You just want someone younger, well I'll never be younger so I guess I may as well just lay down and die because there's nothing I can do now, that's what you're saying isn't it?"

"No honey, that's not what I was saying at all!"

"Well you may as well have!"

^ That's you.

The only one being defeatist here is you. You.


Sorry for all the metaphors, but you seem to think better in metaphors. I know you're done talking about this, and I don't want to hurt your feelings. I really don't. I understand your frustration and anger, how it feels like nothing ever works out and life just keeps kicking you down no matter what you try. I've been there. I sincerely hope Rosebolt can help you.

 

[PieBeNice]

You already said that you were done here. Then you post again and finish with you're done here. K.

fresia off. How's that?

No I don't think I will fresia off, you useless waste of oxygen. If you read your previous posts you keep saying you're done then you come back. That's what I was pointing out. Go back to blaming your problems that you have because you can't be bothered to change them on other people k thxbye.

 

[TheSkaFish]

You already said that you were done here. Then you post again and finish with you're done here. K.

fresia off. How's that?

No I don't think I will fresia off, you useless waste of oxygen. If you read your previous posts you keep saying you're done then you come back. That's what I was pointing out. Go back to blaming your problems that you have because you can't be bothered to change them on other people k thxbye.

fresia you, you piece of honeysuckle. I bet you think you're pretty cool making fun of someone who's obviously very distressed and been deeply hurt for a long time. You smug *******. Go to hell.

---

I've just requested a lock.

 

[PieBeNice]

You already said that you were done here. Then you post again and finish with you're done here. K.

fresia off. How's that?

No I don't think I will fresia off, you useless waste of oxygen. If you read your previous posts you keep saying you're done then you come back. That's what I was pointing out. Go back to blaming your problems that you have because you can't be bothered to change them on other people k thxbye.

fresia you, you piece of honeysuckle. I bet you think you're pretty cool making fun of someone who's obviously very distressed and been deeply hurt for a long time. You smug *******.

This thread is going to get locked. Thank you for you well thought out reply though, skafishey.

You do realise you're making fun of yourself by making these stupid threads and then arguing with everyone who posts and tries to help? What do you expect from this forum? People to just listen to your ranting about how all of your problems are because everyone else has some massive conspiracy against you? Do you not read how ridiculous some of your posts are? In one sentence you will say how its unfair that you can't get who you're attracted to and then say its not fair that women don't want you because they're more attracted to others? You will go on about how jerks get everything and then in another line talk about "retards" and stuff and how you want to commit acts of violence against random strangers.

Personally I think you disprove your own hypothesis, you're a "jerk" who doesnt have "everything". You're not a nice guy. You've never worked to change anything. You blame everyhing on others. You're, to use your own words, a jerk. Because of this noone wants anything to do with you because I'm assuming you're not pleasant in real life either.

Go back to pining over people 10 years younger than you.

K bye.

 

[Rainbows]

Basically.

 

[TheSkaFish]

I know you're done talking about this, and I don't want to hurt your feelings. I really don't. I understand your frustration and anger, how it feels like nothing ever works out and life just keeps kicking you down no matter what you try. I've been there. I sincerely hope Rosebolt can help you.

Thank you for not being an *******. I appreciate it. I thought here, people would understand that sometimes, a person can be in a bad place and very unstable. I thought people here knew what that was like. I thought people here knew what it was like to be shut out and kicked. But apparantly even here we have those who like to pick on others when they are down, when they are having a hard time, when they feel like it's not going to get better.

That's how i feel now. that life just keeps kicking me and it's not going to get better. It's just seemed to me that i am a person for whom things don't work out. They just don't. And they would for anyone else in the same situation but because it's me, they never will. I just want to know when the bullshit is going to end. If someone would only tell me what i need to do to stop getting rejected over and over again, i would do it.

I'm looking for someone very specific. I'm a very unique person - I don't mean that as a boast, I dont mean I am an exceptionally talented or desirable person - i mean it as, there just aren't a lot of people like me. I have contradictory interests, contradictory personality. and i want someone who will help me develop and grow, someone who will push me to be more than i was before. It would be easier if i was only one way, or had at least one or two main interests the way most people do. It would be easy if only I was just like everyone else and all I liked were sports and comedy and cars, and all i wanted was someone to drink and watch the big game with. But I'm not. It's like I'm trying to find the intersection between all of these different, unrelated things and the rare times i find someone who understands i am overjoyed. and when they reject me, it hurts like hell. especially after we spent so much time finishing each other's sentences and acting like each other was the long-lost puzzle piece we were searching for.

i've only found 3 such people in my whole life. the odds of me meeting another are slim to none. it feels like this is it for me.

 

[Nicolelt]

i've only found 3 such people in my whole life. the odds of me meeting another are slim to none. it feels like this is it for me.

There are 7.046 billion people in this world...

 

[Badjedidude]

i've only found 3 such people in my whole life. the odds of me meeting another are slim to none. it feels like this is it for me.

Yeah, I don't want to meet people who aren't like me either. Diversity, exploration, and interpersonal discovery are totally overrated.

 

[TheSkaFish]

As I've said time and again, I know what I want in someone. I want these things for a reason, some of which is that they would help me grow. And I've also said that I've looked on online dating sites to see who is in my area. It's nothing but people who are interested in those aforementioned things. Bar scene people and sports fans. Over and over and over again. I've looked. And I'm not interested in those things. A person like that would not be compatible with me, they couldn't take me where I want to go.

 

[Nicolelt]

As I've said time and again, I know what I want in someone. I want these things for a reason, some of which is that they would help me grow.

Nothing wrong with that, like I have said before.

And I'm not interested in those things. A person like that would not be compatible with me, they couldn't take me where I want to go.

That's fine, and there are thousands of women that feel the same way. I would put money on that.

 

[Sci-Fi]

PieBeNice knock off the trolling, you keep annoying and irritating people. You've done it in too many threads, keep it up and you'll be getting time off from the forum.

Since this thread has turned into arguing and insulting its done.