^Ska, there's some real life experiences here that you can probably take a look at and see, and realise that it doesn't end when you lose someone you are so crazy about in life. You think there could be no chance at meeting someone alike - of course, no 2 girls can be the same carbon copy of each other. But, there will be others, who can fill that void in ways you can't even imagine.. unless you stop trying.
When I got out of my 5-year relationship, one of which I thought was the one, going to last till the end, we planned our lives together and ****, it just .. I lost it when it ended. I couldn't think of the future. I couldn't see the future. I couldn't think any guy would have wanted someone like me, or I could never get someone like him, ever. But I moved on, because I was where you are once, so frustrated and blaming everything and everyone and just too stubborn to try or let go.
But it was so bad to the point that I frustrated myself and I sickened myself - like why the fresia do I do this to my self? What did I ever do to deserve this from my own being? No one out there in this world, owes me a living and no one out there will take care of me. The only person who can and who can determine how my life goes, is ME mostly.
Where I am now? I am in a relationship, I love my guy so much. But that doesn't mean it's all good. I have health issues, I have life issues.. it's not always good for anyone. But, I moved on, and I found someone far better and loving and caring than what I thought was the best already.
I was young 19-year old when I started that relationship. You do realise that at that age, our mental development is still quite evolving? I told myself no, I'm not gonna change my thoughts and no way I'm gonna be like this forever. But when I hit 22... a lot changed. My therapist told me, what I was when I was 19, my thoughts.. will not be the same as when I am 25. And she was right.
So this girl you're crazy about.. she's going to develop herself over the next few years and move on.. and you'd still be stuck. And, usually, there's a reason why relationships don't work. Either they should not work, or it will bring them together - whereby they broke up with a mutual understanding and maturity. In your situation, I don't think it's the latter.
TheSkaFish said:
I have a plenty good idea how the world works. It caters to "cool" people, it caters to the lucky few. That's who. Everyone else just gets the honeysuckle that's left over and they are powerless to do anything to change it. The lucky few get all the good things, all day every day. Everyone else gets fresia you. Everyone else gets nothing. Some people learn to fake being happy with it, while others get angry, and others get depressed. But no one gets anything good except the lucky winners.
The world doesn't owe you or anyone anything. You owe it to yourself to live a good one. Nobody, not the world, not the earth, not mother nature.. none owes you or anyone anything. So there are no lucky winners. You just don't see that even the people who have it good, have suffering too. Like I've said before to you, show me one person who has it ALL good from the beginning, nothing bad at all, no suffering, no struggle, no broke relationships, no pain, no hurt. Show me one person, and I'll shut up about this. Because that's total bullshit.
TheSkaFish said:
There's tons of other women, sure. Maybe they'd even want to be with me too. Ones that I would be bored out of my skull with, physically indifferent to, and completely uninspired by. I wouldn't truly like being with them though, it's just that they're all that's left. They couldn't push me to expand. In fact, I'd shrink. I'd feel like instead of getting to experience being happy with someone, I only get to pretend and watch life pass me by. The only other women that I've ever met that I would even consider wanting to be with just as much, are also themselves unavailable for the same reason. There's no one I find desirable left. It's all downhill from here.
Have you met all the single women in the whole wide world? I don't think so.. so I don't think you should judge and assume this is how it will be with all the women you'd meet in the future. I haven't said this before, but others have, but right now I find that kinda insulting, the way you see women out there. I understand where you're coming from, but if you don't change this mindset, it's not going to get you anywhere, dude.
Locke said:
I don't think you will. I think you'll ignore this post or twist it in some way to make it sound like I'm telling you that you're a loser. You're not a loser Ska, but that's probably what you'll do. If not - if you want to carry on- I'm here for you. Lady and jjessa are here for you. Vanilla. Everyone.
The choice is yours.
A lot of people care for you, Ska. Believe it or not. Or they won't give a honeysuckle to what you're saying again and again. They won't bother replying to your posts and just tell you to fresia off with the same old same old.
If you haven't seen this yet, you seriously need to take a break from all this thinking, take a break, take a step back.. and just breathe and look at the overall picture.
We're here for you. Not to drive you crazy, but to try to get you to see what we have experienced ourselves in life. It doesn't end where you think it ends. We all think that at some point when something breaks us.. but somehow it brings us somewhere else in life.