How I feel when I go out

[ShawnPearce]

Tonight I went out for a social drink with a friend and found it hard to think straight with a clear mind. The place was packed with people, and I found myself mostly focused on everything that was going on around me, while doing my best to keep my concentration focused on what my friend was saying to me. The night just sucked. I just wish the environment had of been more clear and comfortable. I stopped socializing with friends because I never enjoy myself. A lot more could have been said, but unfortunately wasn't, (on my side). I wanted to open up to him more, but I felt lost for words. To be perfectly honest, I felt kind of dumb. At the end of the night I was glad to walk through the front door of my apartment (my comfort zone) and can hardly wait until he calls me to get together again (if he ever does) ...*sarcasim*. Aw well, at least my attitude was in the right place. Usually I would have made up an excuse as to why I "couldn't" go out. But this time, despite how I knew I was going to feel, I went out anyway, and didn't let my social issues ruin my night. I just wish I felt more comfortable in social situations. Maybe I just need more practice. Feel free to share your own experiences or give me any advice on how I can relax better when I go out. That should be it. Thanks! ;D

 

[samba101]

I know how you feel, I went to my friends birthday and didn't know the other people, I kind of felt like an outsider and apparently it showed on my face, my friend remarked to me that I looked uncomfortable and asked what was wrong a few days later, I don't remember telling him what happened but I know once I get uncomfortable the night starts to end for me.

I'm not the biggest talker and never have been which makes it hard relating to others even if it is just simple chit chat. Aside from that I don't get excited about anything, my life over the years has bought big disappointments and I think I've come to realise that there just isn't anything to get overly emotional about. I've turned into a bit of a pessimist, I tend to see black or white and don't think much warrants my attention.

I've listened to people explain what a great time they've had either it be just going for a walk, a birthday dinner, a concert and wonder what it would be like to feel like that and view the world in a more positive manner. If I could order that I would but sadly those things can not be ordered from life.

 

[Brian]

I found 'exposure therapy' really is effective after a while.

A few years ago I had to come out of a hermitage that lasted about 6 years, not counting a childhood full of rejection and scorn from the majority of my peers. I volunteered with an outfit to start getting experience in my desired field of work, which mandates large amounts of persona and sociability. In essence, I had to make a 180 with my mannerisms.

I'm pretty much 100% at ease and talkative with my coworkers now. I'm still uncomfortable in some situations, but I'm slowly getting better. Just keep exposing yourself to it. It's an 'acquired taste', so to speak. I'm to the point now that I'm comfortable in light populations of strangers (IE, going to the gym), and I can talk to cashiers and the like pretty easily.

I'm still absolutely out of place at parties or large purely social gatherings. But progress is progress. Just keep exposing yourself. It's something you have to practice I think...just reflecting on it or asking for advice won't fix it. It will help, but you have to be out in it to really get there.