How I got over loneliness and depression

[BlackCat]

Title says it all. This will explain how I got over my loneliness and depression, and also may explain to those of you that remember me why I'm inactive.

So anyways. Being in the chat on this website helped a good bit for starters. I got to talk to people that I could relate to, and I could get a distraction from everything in my life. I'd suggest you do the same. That lessened the lonely feelings. Eventually the forum became dull to me, I didn't see any threads worth posting in, I'd put my input in and helped, so I was bored. The chat was the main thing keeping me around. So go into the chat if you're lonely!

Then eventually I got to introspection. I realized... Depression is an illusion. A mind state. I thought about it and thought about it until I realized that it was ridiculous to feel that way, and then I tried to conquer it by counter acting it. Exercise was the main thing that helped me, it actually chemically helps your depression. Also I became more social, I would talk to more people online and in real life (this was easier for me than it will be for others since I'm still in school). This helped me break the pattern. Eventually I stopped feeling it altogether.

As for the loneliness? Well when I felt lonely I would go into chat. When I quit going here I found another website about a personality theory I was interested in, it was almost like a social network. Everyone was nice, and since the website was based on a personality theory people were there to understand you and others. I loved the community, I made a lot of friends, and the forums were very active. This broke some of my loneliness. Then I started to get in their chat room, which used a program called "Ventrilo", which is primarily a voice chat but also has a text chat. This was a lot more personable, and when I started to get to know more people personally my feelings of loneliness fully vanished. This along with being more sociable in real life broke those feelings for me.

Another thing I did to fight the loneliness was I embraced the fact that I'm an introvert. I would do things that I enjoyed alone, which included reading books, researching on the internet, playing video games, drawing, writing etc. I realized I could enjoy myself and not be around people.

I don't know about you people, but all I need real life socializing for is to release the energy I gain while being alone. I'll start to go crazy if I don't do something in the real world or outside of my house. I socialize with friends maybe once a week, and I'm fine doing other things alone. But this is probably due to the fact that I'm introverted.

So with self determination to conquer my depression, plenty of distractions and talking to people, embracing my hobbies and socializing I broke my depression and loneliness. You can do it too.

Here is my suggestion for this site... Get a ventrilo server! Lonely people actually TALKING to other lonely people is much much better than just text chat alone. It's more personable, you don't feel as lonely when you're talking to people, you get to know how it feels to be around the people, etc. So get to getting a ventrilo server! That's my suggestion. To grab a server for this website someone has to go to www.ventrilo.com to get a client, I've never hosted one so I'm not sure if it's free or if there is a small fee. I'm pretty sure there is a small fee.

PS: If anyone I know is still around, please email me. I love talking to people online.

 

[Tramp]

Hmm..this really got me thinking. It's good to hear from people who've conquered some of the negative aspects of life. Thanks for posting this.

 

[BlackCat]

Depression is the most pointless mental state that there is. All it does is bring you down, make you less efficient in all areas of life, and overall makes you a worse human being. This can lead to loneliness, since you don't "feel like" socializing or anything. Being depressed makes people dig their own graves if they don't handle it.

So if depression does all of those negative things, why let it conquer you? I conquered it.

 

[Qui]

*high fives*
yeah, that's it right there.
I kinda got sick of being depressed all the time.
so I stopped doing all the same old things, broke that cycle.
and I'll tell you, getting some sunlight can do wonders. just get outside, a little vitamin D can do a world of good.
go for a hike, enjoy nature. don't focus on how alone you are, get out in nature. see how connected everything is, and be part of it.
trust me, and take advantage of nature before it's all gone.

 

[BlackCat]

It's good to see you Qui.

I exercised outside... Being outside is great.

 

[EveWasFramed]

BC ((((hugs))))
Im so happy to see that you are doing well. We've missed you.

 

[Zak]

We already have a ventrilo room hosted by VanillaCreme lol. I think the link to the room is in her sig.

 

[Lynda]

It's really good to hear of someone conquering depression like that.
However, as I am sure you realize, you have to get to the stage where you can take action.
It takes its own time and there are phases of depression where it is virtually impossible to get out of bed or pick a bit of paper up from the floor. You cannot force it. When you get to the point where you are so fed up of it all that you do something about it, you are on the mend.
Congratulations.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

great to hear you doing better BlackCat

 

[AimeeLou84]

great to hear you doing better BlackCat

My god this is possibly the shortest post I've ever seen from you lonesome lol.

In reply to the main poster it's great that you have managed to get over depression.It's difficult to do and you've done it so that's great

 

[Lonesome Crow]

great to hear you doing better BlackCat

My god this is possibly the shortest post I've ever seen from you lonesome lol.

I must be getting less and less lonely to not write long post or threads all the time now

 

[SighX99]

everyones different. for me, i would get into a state like that, ive already realized im an introvert, i enjoy doing things by myself, i try to socialize and everything. for a while there i thought i was out of depression. this "content" feeling would usually last for about couple weeks, but then, after a while, the feeling all comes back to me. when no friends are around for a while, or when something that you see reminds you of something that makes u extremely sad... it all comes back...

for me, its cyclical.

what changed in your life style? how did u get through the barrier between strangers?

 

[Silvernight]

I realized... Depression is an illusion. A mind state. I thought about it and thought about it until I realized that it was ridiculous to feel that way.

My thoughts exactly. This is what I too realized last year, when I was depressed to the point of craziness, which has never happened before. Eventually I got so fed up with this constant tearful state and an overwhelming desire to climb walls out of despair, that I just told myself 'no more'. Strange though it sounds even to me, it actually worked. I'm not saying I never got worked up afterwards but I definitely haven't slipped back into that horrible state I was in. I also discarded all the sertraline tablets, which a shrink prescribed to me several months before. Medication is not the way to treat depression, I knew it back then but I had that wish to shirk the responsibility for my own happiness and to rely on something external (medicines) to make me happy. Of course, it was a stupid idea. To get out of depression, it is imperative to change you attitude first. I understand how this will sound highly irritating to a person who's in deep depression, it certainly did to me. Like, no honeysuckle Einstein??? And how am I supposed to do it when everything sucks and all I want is to lie down and die?
I guess one must hit a certain point where this kind of existence feels so unbearable that they start to feel the urge to do something, anything to change it. This is when the idea of shifting into a more positive line of thinking starts to sound acceptable and does not evoke an immediate barfing reaction and the uncanny urge to strangle the one advising it (this is from experience ). You can also start thinking of things you are grateful to have (anyone can come up with these unless they are living in a Nazi concentration camp), and remember and update this mental list regularly, better - every day.

The point is that you attract what you think. If you are constantly thinking about how depressed and lonely you are, and how life sucks, then all the more depression and loneliness to you. If you think that people in general are scum and liars then that's exactly the kind of people you will attract which in turn will make you even more convinced that you were right all along. The universe is like a jeannie. If you're concentrating daily on the feelings of despair and unhappiness, it automatically assumes that is your wish and generously gives you more. It's a neverending circle. Unless you decide to stop it. The same is true for reverse. Concentrate directly on what you want, imagine vividly and with all proper feelings of joy etc. having it, and eventually you'll attract it. However, it's important not to think in negatives, e.g. "I must conquer my loneliness", the appropriate way is to imagine, e.g. "I am surrounded with friends" (if this is what you want). Then you will start attracting opportunities to get what you want. Then act on them.

And, of course, 'distractions'. Find something that you're interested in which keeps your mind occupied during the time when you are alone. Hanging out and socializing 24/7 isn't the only way to feel fulfilled, and it isn't healthy to rely on other people to make you happy at all times.

Exercise was the main thing that helped me, it actually chemically helps your depression.

Yeah, definitely. Personally, I hate gyms, it's way too boring for me. Of course, to each their own. So now I've been going to kung fu classes for almost a year and it did loads of good for me in all respects. Including that I found a community which feels almost like a family, so I don't feel lonely anymore.

 

[snow]

I had a good year of not being depressed...I tend to stay happy when in a relationship. Since I've been single the last few months it's been really really hard to not end up right where I was. One change I've made lately is believing in predestination and that whatever happens is not controlled by me, but is rather an predetermined path layed out for me, and that I'll get to where I'm going eventually. It's similar to Calvinism. I can still be depressed by things happening currently but not the future so much which seems to be the bulk of it. In other words some (not all) of my nightmarish thoughts were replaced by fantastic visions of the future.

 

[BigBill008]

Title says it all. This will explain how I got over my loneliness and depression, and also may explain to those of you that remember me why I'm inactive.

So anyways. Being in the chat on this website helped a good bit for starters. I got to talk to people that I could relate to, and I could get a distraction from everything in my life. I'd suggest you do the same. That lessened the lonely feelings. Eventually the forum became dull to me, I didn't see any threads worth posting in, I'd put my input in and helped, so I was bored. The chat was the main thing keeping me around. So go into the chat if you're lonely!

Then eventually I got to introspection. I realized... Depression is an illusion. A mind state. I thought about it and thought about it until I realized that it was ridiculous to feel that way, and then I tried to conquer it by counter acting it. Exercise was the main thing that helped me, it actually chemically helps your depression. Also I became more social, I would talk to more people online and in real life (this was easier for me than it will be for others since I'm still in school). This helped me break the pattern. Eventually I stopped feeling it altogether.

As for the loneliness? Well when I felt lonely I would go into chat. When I quit going here I found another website about a personality theory I was interested in, it was almost like a social network. Everyone was nice, and since the website was based on a personality theory people were there to understand you and others. I loved the community, I made a lot of friends, and the forums were very active. This broke some of my loneliness. Then I started to get in their chat room, which used a program called "Ventrilo", which is primarily a voice chat but also has a text chat. This was a lot more personable, and when I started to get to know more people personally my feelings of loneliness fully vanished. This along with being more sociable in real life broke those feelings for me.

Another thing I did to fight the loneliness was I embraced the fact that I'm an introvert. I would do things that I enjoyed alone, which included reading books, researching on the internet, playing video games, drawing, writing etc. I realized I could enjoy myself and not be around people.

I don't know about you people, but all I need real life socializing for is to release the energy I gain while being alone. I'll start to go crazy if I don't do something in the real world or outside of my house. I socialize with friends maybe once a week, and I'm fine doing other things alone. But this is probably due to the fact that I'm introverted.

So with self determination to conquer my depression, plenty of distractions and talking to people, embracing my hobbies and socializing I broke my depression and loneliness. You can do it too.

Here is my suggestion for this site... Get a ventrilo server! Lonely people actually TALKING to other lonely people is much much better than just text chat alone. It's more personable, you don't feel as lonely when you're talking to people, you get to know how it feels to be around the people, etc. So get to getting a ventrilo server! That's my suggestion. To grab a server for this website someone has to go to www.ventrilo.com to get a client, I've never hosted one so I'm not sure if it's free or if there is a small fee. I'm pretty sure there is a small fee.

PS: If anyone I know is still around, please email me. I love talking to people online.