I'm 28, and I am also flying Virgin Airlines. Yeah, it kind of mess with you. You wonder, 'what's wrong with me? Why aren't I normal?' Not one single friend of mine from high school graduated a virgin (a few of them graduated pregnant). I was hung up on the same girl in high school, who just happened to be my best friend's girlfriend, and then after high school I just have never found myself in a position to meet women. I don't even know any single women. Not any at all. All of my friends are older than me, and married to boot, so I'm not going to be meeting anyone through them, despite all of their assurances of "don't worry, we'll find you someone".
I went through that phase of 'I just have to do it, I can't miss out on it anymore,' all the while terrified of the prospect (I just KNOW I would do nothing but embarrass myself in the sack). But then one day my mindset began to change. The idea of a one-night-stand, though never all that appealing to me, became downright appalling. I seem to have reached a point in my life where, if I ever do finally get to lose my virginity, it has to be with someone special. Someone I care about, and someone who cares about me. I won't even go to strip clubs, never mind the fact that I've never seen a naked woman in real life before.
I went out for Halloween last year with some friends, dressed (ingeniously I might add) as Santa Claus. At the last bar of the night I was sitting alone at a table, a sad, lonely Santa, watching all these people and happy couples around me having a good ole' drunken time. Then this girl in a slutty leather costume came over and from out of nowhere started rubbing up on me. I was, of course, all thumbs, mentally as well as physically. Eventually she tugged down my Santa beard and gave me a little peck on the corner of my mouth, then wandered off into the crowd. She told my friend a bit later that she'd just wanted to make me blush. What she did was make me feel like garbage. That was the physically closest I've ever been to a woman. It was the most sexual thing that has ever happened to me, and it happened in a disgusting, dimly lit bar filled with smoke and drunken idiots. It was CHEAP.
When it happens (if it happens; I'm beginnging to suspect it may not), It cannot be cheap. It has to be deep, it has to be emotional, and it has to be LOVING. There aren't many guys who will understand this. If I were to discuss any of this with anyone in person, I'm sure the cries of "get over yourself" would be deafening. In which case I would need a pair of earplugs, because this is just the way it is for me.
Don't worry about it! Really... when a woman sees that you're flustered around her, she'll think it's cute and she'll be flattered that she has that affect on you.
