LoneKiller
Well-known member
I thought that I'd create this poll so we all can see how various members have healed some in their particular afflictions.
You're too good to me Poguesy.Poguesy said:It's threads like these that ask me why i'm here, as none of it usually applies.
Then i realise i just like annoying you lovely bunch, especially you Jason
Barbaloot said:Not much has changed for me since I joined, I still have all of my old issues. And although I've made friends with a small handful of people, there is at times so much drama, in-fighting, outright hostility, passive-aggressiveness, and people simply being.. unreasonable that I'm not even sure that it's been an overall positive force in my life. I just simply have nowhere else to go, nothing else to do and I do appreciate the few friendships I've made so I still come here every day.
But, I do know the forum has helped a lot of people in a lot of ways, and that's always awesome to see.
Doubt The Rabbit said:This. Also, personally I have made a few improvements however I do not give the forum credit for those improvements, seeing as I only made them after I'd stopped frequenting the forum. However, I gess it's exposure to all the drama and in-fighting that made me a little more immune to conflict - Normally I'd do my best to try and avoid it, becaus I couldn't handle it, but now I feel like I can either be in conflict with someone else because they don't agree with me or with myself for not saying what I really mean to say. The difference is, with someone else I can hit the ignore button. Not so easy to do with my own self.
So, I suppose the forum has been useful in that respect. Other than that, I've healed since I've been here, a little...just not as a result of being here.
Doubt The Rabbit said:Well, my idea is that it's simply easier to be selfish online. You're faced with only your own feelings and how you perceive other people to be. No one is exempt from that. Whereas in real life, another person's feelings - their countenance, their gestures, etc - are right there on the table. You have no other choice but to acknowledge them. I've had instances where people online perceive me as something that I'm not, make wild accusations about me and my lifestyle, and criticize me simply because they can't see outside of their personal scope of things. Understandable, but doesn't do me any good, now does it? I've done the same thing to others - judged them based upon my take on their first impression instead of looking beyond what I perceive them to be. It's just that easy to do. And so that's how drama gets started - two sides refusing to see any truth outside their own. Having emotional issues to begin with only escalates it. Good intentions or not, the most important thing is to take into consideration the person on the other side of the internet. Sometimes good intentions don't mean anything compared to the result.
The Good Citizen said:Doubt The Rabbit said:Well, my idea is that it's simply easier to be selfish online. You're faced with only your own feelings and how you perceive other people to be. No one is exempt from that. Whereas in real life, another person's feelings - their countenance, their gestures, etc - are right there on the table. You have no other choice but to acknowledge them. I've had instances where people online perceive me as something that I'm not, make wild accusations about me and my lifestyle, and criticize me simply because they can't see outside of their personal scope of things. Understandable, but doesn't do me any good, now does it? I've done the same thing to others - judged them based upon my take on their first impression instead of looking beyond what I perceive them to be. It's just that easy to do. And so that's how drama gets started - two sides refusing to see any truth outside their own. Having emotional issues to begin with only escalates it. Good intentions or not, the most important thing is to take into consideration the person on the other side of the internet. Sometimes good intentions don't mean anything compared to the result.
I know what you are saying but if you looked at 20 random posts on here, I would say 1 in 20 would end in a slanging match, which I don't see as a bad return really when you consider you are asking random strangers from around the world to discuss highly emotive subjects that are personal to them. Maybe you have been burnt in a couple of posts so feel more agrieved or maybe its more frequent than I am making out, I just see that figure as being a pretty good return.
Doubt The Rabbit said:Haha, that's not the case. In fact I am involved in as little drama as a person could be. What it is, is that the drama of which barb and I speak isn't just in the forums. Also, if you look through the closed threads sections, as well as seen posts before they've been "self-edited," you'll see there's a lot more going on than there seems. The mods are just being very careful of keeping these things out of the way so as to keep the experience of the other users positive. There's plenty of things going on behind the scenes and between users personally...we see them. You just have to take a look beyond what's out front.
But, yeah,considering the entire forum could've been in chaos by now, I'd say it's alright here. That wasn't to say that I ever thought the forum was bad. What I meant by my first post was that the drama that I know of has taught me that there will be drama everywhere, no matter what. No sense in holding my own tongue to avoid it, but at the same time, I like to take the time to consider what the other side means by what they say, and how to word my opinion in a way that doesn't offend as much as possible. If that fails, then I won't take it upon myself to feel guilty - whereas I used to feel very guilty for other people's misunderstanding of me before, I don't feel that way now.
That, to me, is an improvement.
You just joined here. Give us a chance. Nobody is saying that we are licensed psychiatrists. We're better in my opinion. We also don't charge $300/hour just to walk into an office of one just to say hi.Sterling said:Not voting. No issues have been 'healed' since being here. If anything, stuff might have become worse?
LoneKiller said:You just joined here. Give us a chance. Nobody is saying that we are licensed psychiatrists. We're better in my opinion. We also don't charge $300/hour just to walk into an office of one to say hi..Sterling said:Not voting. No issues have been 'healed' since being here. If anything, stuff might have become worse?