how to behave in relationships [teenage] :(

[kindster]

Hello, i am 17 years old male and i am in a relationship with a 15 years old girl for a week now. We know each other for 3 weeks now and the problem is she told me i don't act normal with her and that she's sick of me giving her compliments and that she don't like that i prefer her over my friends. So what do i do i asked her directly is this the end of our relationship and she said it isn't if i change so what do i do ? I am so in love with her that i don't wanna lose her please give me advice on what to do. In our conversation she call me dumbass, moron and talk about ex boyfriends all the time and when i ask her why does she do that she is like "i am testing your nerves". On to that i don't feel well anymore with her i am shaking from fear of losing her because she is beautiful so what do i do to feel better act more normal as she says and save this relationship.

 

[ssbanks2000]

I am concerned with your description of this girl. TO me you have focused a lot on how "beautiful" she is, but not what she is like. What is it that she does that has drawn you to her? What similar interest do you share?
If you are concerned about her leaving you then she can't possibly be as into you as you are into her. Get it? If she was then you wouldn't be asking questions like this or in fear of a break-up.

I would suggest focusing on that which has brought you two together in the first place. If she is "testing your nerves" and you don't like it, tell her how uncomfortable it makes you feel. I think that you may be a little to heavy for what she isl looking for right now. Try backing off a bit. If she is truly into you then she will notice the withdrawal and come seeking you out wondering why.

 

[Anten]

The main problem is she is 15. I don't know how mature she is but do you really want this girl to be your shinning achievement 10 years from now? When you are 27, talking about how you dated this awesome 15 year old back in high school? I am not saying dump her or anything but this isn't going to be the best chick you ever met so stop acting like it. You lose her, you lose her but make the best of the time you have together. Get to know her from the inside out. Do you know why she likes you? Do you know her favorite color and why? Do you know what she wants to do with her life? Does she have a pet turtle and if she doesn't why or why not? You will meet hotter girls, smarter girls, and funnier girls but all you have to do is appreciate what you have with them and stop focusing on the outer appearance.

 

[Avalon]

Hello, i am 17 years old male and i am in a relationship with a 15 years old girl for a week now. We know each other for 3 weeks now and the problem is she told me i don't act normal with her and that she's sick of me giving her compliments and that she don't like that i prefer her over my friends.

I can tell you love this girl alot, but here's the problem. You're being too good to her. Strangely enough, yes, being too good to someone will push them away from you. Heres why:

It's because she hasn't had to work for anything to earn your love. You're so in love with her you see her as a goddess and practically worship her (which is why she is saying you're not being normal around her). When you see her, your ready to roll out the red carpet (figuratively) and shower her with flowers. You're performing, probably doing things purposefully, to curry her favor. She will quickly get bored, because there is no challenge for her.

Your happiness evolves around her (which is why she don't like u prefering her over ur friends). When your happiness evolves around someone, you want to see them day and night. But this is not true love. This is neediness.

She's testing your nerves because: 1) she wants some excitement, AND/OR 2) she wants reinforce the fact that she has complete control over you. Either way, you are no challenge and there is no fun in the relationship for her. In short, she's bored. Why? Cuz she knows you're gonna compliment her, and she can push you around (call you names, talk about ex-bf's) and you aren't gonna do anything about it anyways.

It may be difficult, but here's a few suggestions to mend things:

1) Stop giving compliments all the time. If she's really outstanding that day, ONLY then compliment.
2) Be natural. Don't focus 100% of your attention on her. Give her priority, but still hang out with your friends.
3) Don't make things so easy for her. It seems like your doing close to 90% of the work in this relationship. That's not the way healthy couples are. 50%-50% or 60-40% is more like it. Give her a chance to help you with something (ie. homework, run errands), to show that she cares about you.
4) Give her some excitement. Turn off your phone for a day. Let her know your busy for once. You love her very much, but you have a life besides her too.

We all do this, I do this myself too... especially when I'm in a depression. I rely on my gf alot and I find she isn't always receptive. Sometimes she even pulls back and is downright cold. When I'm functional though, I pull back. Relationships work because two people do equal or similar amounts of work, not because one person does.

I hope this helps.

 

[Anten]

OP is the reason you are acting really needy towards her because you think she is out of your league?

Also when she acts bitchy(talking about her exs and calling you stupid) just ignore her by playing on your phone or walking out on her mid rant. If she yells at you about it tell her if you have something worth while saying i will listen. Just do something that shows you don't like what she is doing to you without getting all emotional on her or physical.

 

[fox]

She does not sound very nice!
If it is only a week relationship, maybe it is not worth it, to save it.
The best person to be with, is the person who likes the way you act naturally.
If you feel need to change for her, what worth is it, that sort of thing? It does not sound so happy or healthy.