How to chat on the web?

Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum

Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.

the-alchemist

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 2, 2010
Messages
86
Reaction score
0
For some reason, in real life I can be quite social and i have only some small problems in carrying a conversation. But when I chat on the web for some reason, I can't hold any webconversation. Typically it is only,

"Hi"
“Hi"
”How are you?"
“Im fine. u?"
"fine too"

And then it dies. We dont exchange any more words after

but in real life, its not a big problem. a problem nonetheless but a small one. I just dont know how to chat or what to say when on internet
 
the-alchemist said:
For some reason, in real life I can be quite social and i have only some small problems in carrying a conversation. But when I chat on the web for some reason, I can't hold any webconversation. Typically it is only,

"Hi"
“Hi"
”How are you?"
“Im fine. u?"
"fine too"

And then it dies. We dont exchange any more words after

but in real life, its not a big problem. a problem nonetheless but a small one. I just dont know how to chat or what to say when on internet

CAN I CALL YOU ED!?!
 
See, I just drop social norms on the web, makes things a lot easier. With nothing holding me back I can do things like start talking about my poo.
 
Just be yourself. Start talking about hobbies, ask them about their, etc etc etc.

Limlim said:
See, I just drop social norms on the web, makes things a lot easier. With nothing holding me back I can do things like start talking about my poo.

Tis true. He talks about poo all the time. Kinda works for him, but I'm not sure it would for others. :D
 
Keep a mental list of questions that have some depth to them. I avoid "How are you?" which usually results in a bland response of "Fine, thanks", and instead ask "So, what have you been up to lately, anything new going on in your life?" because this indicates that you want a more detailed response and allows the other person to pick specific activities in their life that they may want to share and discuss.

If it's a random chatroom, just start asking questions. Where are you from? Do you like it there? Do you go to school or work? What tv shows do you like? Etc. When they respond, give longer feedback.

---
"So, where ya from?"
"Cali, u?"
"Oh, I'm from Nebraska"
---
^That's not a very productive conversation. Instead try:

---
A: "So, where ya from?"
B: "Cali, u?" [Now at this point, what do you know about California? Make some remark or opinion about it, give in-depth feedback.]
A: "Isn't Cali mostly hippies and plastic socialites? :p Are you near the ocean? I'd love to be on the beach right now, it's like 50 degrees up here in Nebraska where I live." [Then, if the other person is a decent conversationalist, they'll do the same: give a detailed response, and then ask some questions that give you an opportunity to tell them more about yourself.]
B: "I used to live in a laid back little beach community in SoCal, stoners and surfers. The sunsets over the Pacific were awesome, I always tried to take photos. I just moved back to SF tho, it's a totally different culture here than in SoCal. I have a friend that was from Nebraska and he didn't like it much, he said it was really boring. Is there much to do there? I've never visited the Midwest myself, although I'd like to someday just to see what it's like. What do you like to do for fun anyways?"
---
^Say more rather than less. Balance talking about yourself with inquiring/commenting on the other person so the conversation doesn't become all about you or all about them. Introduce broad potential subjects in the course of conversation, but make it natural. I've mentioned 2 US states, a sport (surfing), a hobby (photography), cultural issues (socialites, hippies, yuppies), a life event (moving), travel, etc. Unless you're talking to the most boring person in the world, they'll be able to find something of interest to discuss with so many potential leads. Eventually you'll hit upon common ground, or at least learn more about the other person. Single-line responses can only go so far, you won't see the full picture of what the other person is like with overly-simplistic replies and you'll never really connect with them or move on to deeper and more interesting conversations.

If it's on a forum, view their profile and make a note of anything that stands out: If they mention liking literature in their profile, ask them about their favorite novel or author and so forth. Show an interest in their lives.

If there's a lull in the conversation, have something in mind that's kind of random but interesting to discuss. Maybe a recent news event or some problem in your life, etc.
 
rosebud said:
The best thing about the internet is you can say whatever is on your mind and almost nobody will take it seriously. :) Just let your thoughts loose!
You think so?

I think that'd be ideal. Instead, people take things way to seriously, in my opinion.
 
I am the opposite to you. I can chat quite well online (if I want to), but in real life, esp to women, I can only ask "How's work?", "Busy day, hey?"

I really wish it's the other way around
 
the-alchemist said:
For some reason, in real life I can be quite social and i have only some small problems in carrying a conversation. But when I chat on the web for some reason, I can't hold any webconversation. Typically it is only,

"Hi"
“Hi"
”How are you?"
“Im fine. u?"
"fine too"

And then it dies. We dont exchange any more words after

but in real life, its not a big problem. a problem nonetheless but a small one. I just dont know how to chat or what to say when on internet

Depends on your partner too, and how much information that he/she volunteers when you ask the general questions. For me, it can be weird to talk online after having spoken with someone offline, though!
 
Im pretty crap at talking online- before it even comes to writing a message or anything i just start thinking its stupid and maybe i shouldnt, so after battling that for ages i finally type something.

Then, i have the problem of being rubbish at talking unless the other person asks specific questions! I also hate to think that Im boring people by asking the usual questions.

Then after maybe a day or two of chatting, what normally happens is the other person stops talking-and i dont know why! I dont know what happens! maybe i talk too much? i dont know! :( what makes it worse is i see that sometimes the people i was just talking to post messages asking for people to talk to or saying they have no one to listen- WHat about me! Waaaaaaaa! Someone please justify my life! :D

In person i usually dont have a problem talking- sure i may be a bit awkward, boring, too enthusiastic or whatever but i can talk. So i dont think you would want any advice from me, but if you fancy talking to people then being ignored then just ask about them, then make up a convo around that! :D unless its just me thats bad....i like to write longer replies to encompass everything..maybe thats a bad thing also.

(On that note, if anyone would like to chat, im pretty fast at replying and pretty good at listening! xD)
 
I like some of the suggestions here. Mostly just try to expand on your question or answer that creates more dialogue. Like JamaisVu's example.

When someone asks how are you, just don't say fine/okay/good or whatever offer a little more. Give a little reason why. Like; "I'm good, had a good day at work. And you?" or whatever happened to put you in a good mood. Just be careful about negatives. That leaves it open for the other person to ask you what you do or give a little more about their day.
 
Rolo said:
Im pretty crap at talking online- before it even comes to writing a message or anything i just start thinking its stupid and maybe i shouldnt, so after battling that for ages i finally type something.

Then, i have the problem of being rubbish at talking unless the other person asks specific questions! I also hate to think that Im boring people by asking the usual questions.

Then after maybe a day or two of chatting, what normally happens is the other person stops talking-and i dont know why! I dont know what happens! maybe i talk too much? i dont know! :( what makes it worse is i see that sometimes the people i was just talking to post messages asking for people to talk to or saying they have no one to listen- WHat about me! Waaaaaaaa! Someone please justify my life! :D

In person i usually dont have a problem talking- sure i may be a bit awkward, boring, too enthusiastic or whatever but i can talk. So i dont think you would want any advice from me, but if you fancy talking to people then being ignored then just ask about them, then make up a convo around that! :D unless its just me thats bad....i like to write longer replies to encompass everything..maybe thats a bad thing also.

(On that note, if anyone would like to chat, im pretty fast at replying and pretty good at listening! xD)

You seem to do fine to me... don't discount yourself, you do just fine :)
 
Agreed with elaborating on the "how are you" type of questions. I think if you do it yourself then it shows the person you're talking to that you're interested in having a chat. A reply like "fine" can be a conversation killer unless you follow it up--it's like saying you don't want to chat. If you don't want to go in to why are/are not feeling good, then make sure that you follow up by taking the conversation somewhere else.

Ask a somewhat random question. Or just start talking about something random. Go with whatever has been on your mind just recently.

It's probably that it just doesn't feel very natural to you because you're not used to doing it. Eventually you will stop second guessing yourself the more you do it.
 
I always just respond with what I'm doing or just did or will do in a moment.
 

Latest posts

Back
Top