How to deal with someone who doesn't love you back?

[BrokenInside]

Here's a link that will help you to deal with it.

http://www.ehow.com/how_5056467_deal-someone-doesnt-love-back.html

 

[wedge]

Here's a link that will help you to deal with it.

http://www.ehow.com/how_5056467_deal-someone-doesnt-love-back.html

2 years ago I went thru something like this.
It wasn't very nice, horrible really.
Six months it lasted until I met somebody else and it faded away very quickly. She still sends me texts and wants to meet up every now and again as friends. She knew how I felt. I would rather have nothing to do with her anymore but that's not as easy as it seems.

 

[VanillaCreme]

If someone didn't love me back, or give my love in return, I'd leave them alone. And it's as simple as that. Wouldn't even bother with them anymore.

 

[shesafrozenfire]

Unfortunately, there is nothing that can be done in that situation. No need to click on a link. Love can't be forced or faked.

 

[Okiedokes]

You move on with your own life.

 

[SophiaGrace]

You move on with your own life.

Yes.

 

[BrokenInside]

Unfortunately, there is nothing that can be done in that situation. No need to click on a link. Love can't be forced or faked.

This link is not about how to get someone's love, its about how to get over it!

 

[Walley]

If someone didn't love me back, or give my love in return, I'd leave them alone. And it's as simple as that. Wouldn't even bother with them anymore.

that is easier said than done. ones perspective seems to change once feelings get involved. especially if the relationship has lasted for quite some time.
I can relate to this totaly, but not to do with a romantic relationship, but a friendship. someone whom I've had alot of histroy with and saw them as my best friend and sometimes only friend. but it's like a rollercoaster. most times feeling like its slowly going downhill in a gradual progression of getting more and more distant, and every once in a while we have a moment that lifts it back up and we're best buds again. only to start feeling distance again shortly there after.
this is a friend I care for very much and feel like ive known forever. but it really feels as though it's one sided and I am merely a casual friend they can take or leave depending on if i'm needed or not.

but how do you just get upset one day and say, ok.. thats it. it's over. move on and forget they exist? when you've talked to them almost every day for over a decade?
i wish there was some kinda pill or electro shock that could help me do that..
the only quick and easy solution is to not care at all.. and i can't do that either =/

 

[wedge]

it's awfull having a crush on a woman. Even worse is when you see some other guy take an interest as well. Every situation I have been involved in, the other guy has had more success than me.

 

[Tiina63]

I find that keeping completely away from the person is the only way to do it. If you are constantly running into them, your feelings do not get a chance to quieten down.

 

[VanillaCreme]

If someone didn't love me back, or give my love in return, I'd leave them alone. And it's as simple as that. Wouldn't even bother with them anymore.

that is easier said than done. ones perspective seems to change once feelings get involved. especially if the relationship has lasted for quite some time.
I can relate to this totaly, but not to do with a romantic relationship, but a friendship. someone whom I've had alot of histroy with and saw them as my best friend and sometimes only friend. but it's like a rollercoaster. most times feeling like its slowly going downhill in a gradual progression of getting more and more distant, and every once in a while we have a moment that lifts it back up and we're best buds again. only to start feeling distance again shortly there after.
this is a friend I care for very much and feel like ive known forever. but it really feels as though it's one sided and I am merely a casual friend they can take or leave depending on if i'm needed or not.

but how do you just get upset one day and say, ok.. thats it. it's over. move on and forget they exist? when you've talked to them almost every day for over a decade?
i wish there was some kinda pill or electro shock that could help me do that..
the only quick and easy solution is to not care at all.. and i can't do that either =/

How? You kind of have to... I mean, what can you do... Stand outside their window with a boom box over your head, singing along to some cheesy '80's song... I never said forgetting... Most people never forget... But you can't hang onto something you don't have anymore. Not only is it pointless, but it will make you appear to be a creep in the end.

Many things are easier said than done, but it's not impossible. Friendship or romantically, neither one can be forced. If someone just doesn't want to deal with you in any way, they just won't.

 

[musicstoodstill]

BrokenInside.....good advice.

 

[Walley]

i know exactly what youre saying. it's the rational way to look at it. but emotions have a way of overcomming rationality and clouding your ability to use you head over your heart. thats partly why some abused women stay with abusers and also why some people cheat on their spouse.
they usualy arent logical reasons but driven by emotions whether it be love, fear, lust or whatever. they're all powerful influences. more powerful that our brains it seems

 

[munia]

Truly, der really is no way, apart 4rm time n allowing urself 2 let go. iv bin tru it n its horible, d feelin is soooo horible. Everytin dat used 2 matter 2 me din just mater again. Cos witout him, evrytin was useless. I cried a lot, my grades dropped,I read different tins on hw 2 make a Guy fall 4 u, tank God 4 d fact I did my best 2 seperate my academics 4rm my brokn heart. I tot of d fact dat 1 day my brokn hrt will heal n if I'm steadfast in my academics, I won't regreat not takn care of it wen d deppresion of heartbreak leaves me. Just like a wound da will surely heal, buh hw u tend 2 it will determine hw deep d scars it wil leave long after d wounds are gone.
I went tru different stages: always reminding him of hw much I love him n telling myself I'll wait, avoiding him cos I felt if he tot he lost me he'l wan 2 up his game, goin bac 2 him wen dat din wrk cos even though he said he missed my company, he still wasn't ready 4 a realationship. Hating him n lashing him out in tears n anger, 4giving him but still doin my best 2 stay away 4rm him 4 fear dat d feelings will come bac n I'll give myself 2 him again out of vulnerabily, crying so much after realising I wasn't over him even though I avoided him. Finally I decided 2 make him my friend, act normal wit him n expect notin. It really helped cos I started sein just a normal person. He fustrated my love n it died. Sometimes wen I'm wit him I wonder wat attractd me in d 1st place. I don get all dose skipin heart feelings at d sound of his voice n mention of his name, no more uncontrollable butterflies at d sight of him, no more tinkn of him wen I smell dat familiar smell, heck days go by n not 1 single tot of him except wen he cals n immediately I hang up I sponteanously start tinkn of oder tins. No more stayin by my fone 24/7 so I don miss his call n checkn 4 missed call 4rm him d moment I leave my fone.
I'm just so hapi I got over him n hapi I did my best not 2 let my grades drop even though it dropped a little. I can c very clearly now n al d tins da used 2 mater now mater again.
He cals me a lot now buh it don mean anytin 2 me, sometimes wen I'm in no mood 2 pic or wen I'm busy I don't pic n I 4get 2 cal him bac l8tr. He says he misses sex wit me n I told him 2 stop drimin abt it. He tried kisin me several times n trust me I felt notin, he even said twas diffent frm d way I used 2 kiss him.
I just so hapi I'm over him. Even if he wants 2 get bac 1 day, I won't.

 

[perfanoff]

Dun asum dat ppl on dis form hv 2 rd ur sms styl msgs. Do u raliz hw selfsh n immatur dis loks?

You mgiht as wlel sartt witrnig in slracmbd lertts..... srue we can raed it but why suohld we eevn btoher?

 

[ardour]

If someone didn't love me back, or give my love in return, I'd leave them alone. And it's as simple as that. Wouldn't even bother with them anymore.

that is easier said than done. ones perspective seems to change once feelings get involved. especially if the relationship has lasted for quite some time.
I can relate to this totaly, but not to do with a romantic relationship, but a friendship. someone whom I've had alot of histroy with and saw them as my best friend and sometimes only friend. but it's like a rollercoaster. most times feeling like its slowly going downhill in a gradual progression of getting more and more distant, and every once in a while we have a moment that lifts it back up and we're best buds again. only to start feeling distance again shortly there after.
this is a friend I care for very much and feel like ive known forever. but it really feels as though it's one sided and I am merely a casual friend they can take or leave depending on if i'm needed or not.

but how do you just get upset one day and say, ok.. thats it. it's over. move on and forget they exist? when you've talked to them almost every day for over a decade?
i wish there was some kinda pill or electro shock that could help me do that..
the only quick and easy solution is to not care at all.. and i can't do that either =/

It's hard to move on from friendships like that when you've invested so much in them.

Maybe divorce or the end of long-term relationship is devastating for a similar reason (IMO). Apart from the emotional attachment to the other, it must like you've wasted years, decades of your life on this person for nothing.

 

[VanillaCreme]

It's hard to move on from friendships like that when you've invested so much in them.

Maybe divorce or the end of long-term relationship is devastating for a similar reason (IMO). Apart from the emotional attachment to the other, it must like you've wasted years, decades of your life on this person for nothing.

I agree, it seems like just wasted time, but what does it matter what you've invested when the other party just steps out? I mean, sure, you tried, and to a lot of extents that counts for something... But for things like this, the end result matters because that's how it is. I've had failed relationships, be them both friendships and romantic relationships, but where are they now? In my past, in my memory. It couldn't matter less the time, effort, and love I've invested in them now.

 

[Walley]

I agree, it seems like just wasted time, but

reading just that line gave me a revelation.
it reminded me of something that i've said to others in the past.
when i was in a rock band and we all learned and practised a handful of songs and then the project fell apart, and one guy said.. ****! we learned all that for nothing! wasted our time!
and my reply was, that we didnt waste our time. we practised and learned and expanded our repertoire. we are all better players for the expirience.

i'm not going to summarize it. i will let you read that as you will. but i kinda feel better now myself.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I agree, it seems like just wasted time, but

reading just that line gave me a revelation.
it reminded me of something that i've said to others in the past.
when i was in a rock band and we all learned and practised a handful of songs and then the project fell apart, and one guy said.. ****! we learned all that for nothing! wasted our time!
and my reply was, that we didnt waste our time. we practised and learned and expanded our repertoire. we are all better players for the expirience.

i'm not going to summarize it. i will let you read that as you will. but i kinda feel better now myself.

That's an awesome example. Experience, and it's experience that allows us to learn and grow, and allows us to move on from things that happen that we can't change.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I am dealing with it by not feeling anything anymore.
I am totally numb.