How to let love in

[theshycynic]

Seriously though, how do you go about allowing yourself to be open to love? I've been single for quite a while, and when my friends try to set me up, or urge me to take a guy out of the 'friend zone', my response is: "Well, i'm just not ready for a relationship. It takes too much energy, and all of my energy is on me right now." But i've come to the conclusion that that answer could be my default one for THE REST OF MY EXISTENCE. So then i ask myself, is that really true? Or is it just an excuse because i'm scared? Can't lie... i'm pretty terrified of letting anyone in. I've always been guarded, but for the past year i've been even more so guarded. I guess what i'm trying to say is that i am ready for a relationship. I'm just not sure if i've got the juice to make one work. I want to be swept off my feet, completely uplifted at the thought of a person. One person whose smile alone would give me the chills. Love is all that lifts us up, and yeah, i want it to lift me up. I want to love, and be loved back. I just needed to vent a little. Feel free to post your thoughts, opinions and all of that good stuff. Xo

 

[ForGrantedWife]

It might be the time to be brave You just have to let go and do it, there is no other way. If you find yourself attracted to someone you date a few times, take a leap of faith and kiss him. No better way to break the ice, right? If you can't stomach the thought of being alone, you can't put this off forever

 

[Senamian]

I think... What it is for you is that you need to just take it slow. Find that someone who WILL take it slow. When you feel pressured, or that they may be moving it too quickly, do NOT be afraid to tell them "hey, I do not feel comfortable with this."

The key is communication. If you don't tell them you are scared, worried, annoyed, etc... How will they know?

As for me, I stopped caring to find someone. It was a "it'll be the same anyways, so screw it." But I had someone SO persistent, and he did respect my boundaries, and at this point it was easy for me to say "I'm not comfortable with this." or "I don't like to talk about this." Which is very off for me since I don't really say anything (which is worse than saying something...) and he would understand.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Don't rush it if you don't feel like you're ready. How do you know if you're ready or not? I don't think anyone could ever be ready for something they have never experienced. So it's a risk or a plunge to take.. when? When you meet someone who gives you that sort of feeling where your insides knot up or you feel butterflies whenever you interact or think of him.. basically when you are attracted to someone. Feelings usually can't be forced.. so go with them, then you'll know when to take that risk or not. Like I said though, don't rush it. Don't go for it just because you want to when you don't really feel anything.. if you know what I mean.

 

[9006]

In your case it would be time & trust.

 

[ucxb]

Seriously though, how do you go about allowing yourself to be open to love? I've been single for quite a while, and when my friends try to set me up, or urge me to take a guy out of the 'friend zone', my response is: "Well, i'm just not ready for a relationship. It takes too much energy, and all of my energy is on me right now." But i've come to the conclusion that that answer could be my default one for THE REST OF MY EXISTENCE. So then i ask myself, is that really true? Or is it just an excuse because i'm scared? Can't lie... i'm pretty terrified of letting anyone in. I've always been guarded, but for the past year i've been even more so guarded. I guess what i'm trying to say is that i am ready for a relationship. I'm just not sure if i've got the juice to make one work. I want to be swept off my feet, completely uplifted at the thought of a person. One person whose smile alone would give me the chills. Love is all that lifts us up, and yeah, i want it to lift me up. I want to love, and be loved back. I just needed to vent a little. Feel free to post your thoughts, opinions and all of that good stuff. Xo

It's a process, unfortunately we each have our own way in allowing ourselves to open up and take down walls we have created. I can only think to share a book that has helped me The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie. This book covers a variety of self-care topics.

 

[Arno]

It might be the time to be brave You just have to let go and do it, there is no other way. If you find yourself attracted to someone you date a few times, take a leap of faith and kiss him. No better way to break the ice, right? If you can't stomach the thought of being alone, you can't put this off forever

I find your answer very motivating. After all what exactly do you have to lose? Every day I go by train and see some attractive women, making me look away.. But occasionally wound up saying to myself.. "Just have some audacity and go for it, grab her attention!" These very situations make me think of one of the most inspiring/moving quotes of all time. The quote itself is very simple and goes as follows "A truly creative person rids him or herself of all self-imposed limitations" - Gerald Jampolsky