Soloyoucanthearme said:
Hi, I'm new, and low self esteem is something I've dealt with for alot of years. I'm now in my 40's and realizing that feeling good about myself is entirely in my hands. All this time I was waiting on something else to make me feel better. Meeting the right man so I would feel worthwhile, valuable & loved, having a friend who would fill the emptiness I felt, etc. Always looking for the approval of others. Now I realize I need to be able to love myself without that approval. I'm having a difficult time getting to that point. I'm trying to stop my negative internal dialogue and attempting to replace it with more positive self talk. But I'm still struggling with liking who I am & what I do unless others like it. I would appreciate any advice on how to work on loving myself .
More than 20 years I didn't like myself. Because my personal evaluation depended on the opinion of others. I had a good job, was able to take care about myself in foreign country but I considered it as "nothing" because others (specially women) didn't think about me as valuable person.
But the reality is totally opposite.
Nobody will like you if you don't like yourself.
Find anything you can be proud of yourself. Job, sense of humor, singing in shower, planting flowers,... Anything!
Praise yourself for it. If you will not do it nobody else will.
Stop to take care what others are thinking. It's your life.
Split people around you to 2 different groups:
- they like you
- they ignore you
Don't worry if in the second group will be few billions of people.
Important is the first group. Believe there is somebody somewhere who will accept you.
But only you will accept yourself. Even you don;t want to spend evening in the pub with somebody
who is just crying over her/his miserable life. You want to talk with interesting people.
Be interesting. And others will find you!
Tip: smile. As much as possible. Even if you don't feel for smile. People are attracted by smiles.