How to Minimize Self Hatred?

[sylvestris lybica]

Does anyone regularly deal with that nagging voice inside themselves that says nothing they will ever do will suffice? How do you get it to shut the hell up?

 

[Nolife Princess]

Lots, and lots of VERDI!(

 

[Lonesome Crow]

That nagging vioce or inner voice
Is actually neutral.
You just gotta replace the messages
The vioce is playing.
Ive been writting about this honeysuckle for
Months. LMAO.
I CAME ACROSS AN ARTICLE HOW
I MADE PROGRESZ. BECAUSE TBAT VIOCE
TO REPLACE THAT Voice years ago.
It belped me alot...but my inner vioce
Was subtle...thats why it seems like I
was doing tbings subconsciously.
It was the. Vioce of ny abusive father
plating in the background...cuase
He was very very critical and abusive towards me.

---

When I became awear of it, i would do positive self talk..
But i wasnt consistent.
Never the less i still made prpgress.
I also used to wear a rubber
Band around my wrist...when
I CATCH MYSELF, I SNAP THE
RUBBER BAND AND TELL MYSELF
TO STOP

---

But that was a little bit tricky...
Cuz i dont always catch myself.lmao..
and off to the races id go.
LUAGHTER IS HEALING.

Plus sometimes im not
Alwsys in a good mood..
Id reacted as i used to.

---

Anyway, i came across a book or several books
That had the same type of solutions.

Itz so fucken simple...why i didn't
come up with the jdea js beyond me.lmao

Im musicians and music lover.
I hear notes in my head all the time
Because i play and listen to music all
The time.

Well..sometimes a song will just pop
Into my head...without me actually
Having the stereo on...

Well..fresia
I simply made recordings of loving
And positive things about myself.
MY VIOCE....
I LISTEN TO THIS RECORDING OF
MYSELF REGULARLY....AS I WOULD
WITH MY MUSIC...

GUESS WHAT?
I HEAR LOVING MESSAGES ABOUT ME
WITH MY OWN VIOCE THAT WILL JUST
POP INTO MY HEAD THROUGHOUT MY DAY.
PLUS I JUST ALLOW MYSELF TO FEEL THAT
IVE RECEIVED ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING
IVE WISH FOR AND ALL MY HOPES AND
DREAMS HAD CAME TRUE ALREADY.
ITS LIKE WALKING AROUND WITH AN ORGASISAM
ALL DAY.LMAO
My FIANCE IS A NYMPHO..
SO, THERE YOU GO.HAHAHAA

---

Ive also been doing visualization
Exercises. Its a process ive havnt
FULLY MASTETED YET.
IM GETTING BETTER AT IT.

I actually got these instructions
from books written by dortors.
Exercises they ask their patience
To do.
Getting to the very basics of
Training my brain to reshift focus.

You simply just go outside and
Focus on various objects...from
afar to near.
This helps you to not get into
Tunnel vision..
We also do this internally with our thinking.
Such as running with negative thoughts...
Or making a mountain out of a mole hill.
Or you cant see the forrest though a tree.
THAT'S ALL THAT IS....TUNNEL VISION.

 

[annik]

Yes and I only wish I knew. I try to shut it out all the time but it's always there in the back of my head tearing me down.

Personally I'd suggest keeping busy, keeping occupied. Music, books, film anything. Rather than say alcohol or worse. Thats only going to become a crutch and cause you more issues. Granted reading night and day could become a crutch too but personally I'd say that could do you no harm.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Another exercise is to place
Three cions on a table.

Then you physically remove each
Coin one at time...
Then you transfer the same process
Internally...the coin represents your barriers
Or negative thoughts...
You just make them vanish or remove them as you did with the cions.

ITS THE SOMETHING AS LETTING GO.

---

Another exercise is to just create or
Visualize the letter A.

AS YOU GET BETTER AT VISUALIZTION,
YOU CAN CREAT IMAGES OF YOURSELF DOING
DOING SOMETHING YOU WISH AND WANT
TO DO...

SUCH AS...
I SEE MYSELF AND RENAE ON OUR WEDDING DAY.
I SEE MYSELF AND RENAE IN A LOVING HOME.

---

These exercises are so simple, basic and corny...
Most people wil just blow it off...

Its just using the process to work
For you instead of against you.

Trash in...trash out.

---

Its not magic...
Its controlling your mind or it will
Control you.

 

[21acceptedbeingalone]

Yea I need to learn to tell my negative voice to shut the fresia up too. Ive just sorta had it so long its really hard to think positive. It feels like a battle against it constantly. I try to stay positive, but usually I start doubting myself again and then I feel worse again.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

People can say happiness is an inside job,
You have the power within you to change you life...etc.

But dosnt give you the fucken instructions...
These are the fucken tools and instructions.

---

Its not going to happen over night.

Think of you mind as a spoil rotten
Undiciplin child. Its not going to give up
Without a fight or give up its controll to
You so easily...
And youll also go through a stage of withdraws
And we revert back to ur old comfortzone.

 

[Harkat]

That 'inner' voice ... is it you, part of you or something else entirely?
i can not work it out so I take what it says with a grain of salt.
Now when it makes an appearance it generally makes observations or is involved in desires, fantasies and worries.
Crow is one to listen to.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Its part of you.
Its not exactly the same for everyone.
Some people hear this voice more than others.
Some are more emotional.
Some are more visual.

Anyway..just observe yourself.

Sometime meditations also helps.

Just sit still in a quite places...

Just focus on an object in front of you.
Then observe...what happens
..whether its vocal, visual or emotions...
Be transparent...just observed as the
Thoughts,feelings or vioce...

Dont figure it out...just observe everything
Thats happening inside of you as a passing parade..

 

[Harkat]

Does the voice have a point? A purpose?
I hear and observe it but .. it does not seem to have a point except perhaps to entertain oneself on occasion.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

The sedona method help me work through
Letting go of my negative emotions and thoughts.

Ivr practice meditations.
The book..THE POWER OF THE NOW.
help me...
I was trying to control my thoights
Or rid of them..but all that did was
Fustrated me.

The observation method helped me.
Kind of like letting a wild fire burn itself
Out.
GRADUALLY MY MIND CAME TO A REST.

IM ABLE TO BE CONCIOUS OR PTRSRNCE
IN THE MOMENT AND NOT IN MY Head.

 

[Harkat]

I find focusing entirely on your sense works very well
observing everything you are aware of
Body control, sensory awareness

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I find focusing entirely on your sense works very well
observing everything you are aware of
Body control, sensory awareness

To me....
Thats what i define as being in the moment.

Sensory awareness exercises also helped me.
Feelings the texture of an objrct, smell, temperature,
Shape..ect.

It might seem corny becuase these excercise
Are very elementary or basics..

Such as pickong up a coin..but its to get me
To be awear in the moment and making
Choices and actoons in the moment.

Im in control of my mind and body.
If i choose to pick up the coin...it was
My choice and im in control of my actions..
If i rol the coin in my hand..im in control...

So self hatred is a matter of chioce and
I have the power to refocus or stop
hating myself.

Im not my thoughts and feelings.
I have thoights and feelings.

Once im awaer and know i have control
Over my body..my brain and mind also.

---

So...yes,,
To me lonliness is just a feeling.

I perdonally...put lonloness, hate, guilt ,shame..etc
As negative emotionals.
I dont deny that i feel these emotionals.
Recognuze them and let them go.

Sometime i just feel my emotions...
Such as pains....
My pains is telling ne something.

I don't deny i have feelubgs of anger.
I try to minimize from reacting to my anger..
Rather...spond to feelings of anger...by
Releaseing the feelings of anger in
Non destructive manners.

---

Example....

I feel angery at myself for making mistakes.
I choose to forgive myself for making that mistake
And will make corrections....
Rather then to react with self hatred.

---

I feel angry at Renae for hurting
me. I choose to forgive her for
making mistakes....
Rather than to react by chasing and flitting
With other women to trigger her feeings
Of jealousy and insecurities, which will be
Destructive to our love and relationship.

 

[Harkat]

Its how I live now Crow
Not thinking about what could be, if's and what about
Not thinking about the past or the future
Being here, now, experiencing whatever happens next
I try give my love to everything that i am aware of

 

[Arsenic Queen]

This is a very interesting thread. Very wise inputs, Crow, I'll check the book you mentioned, The Power Of The Now.

People can say happiness is an inside job,
You have the power within you to change you life...etc.
But dosnt give you the fucken instructions...

Yes! This in particular is something that has frustrated me for a LONG time! People easily say, "it's all up to you", like it's nothing, and probably don't have a freaking clue of how to actually achieve it. These steps and exercises and tricks, and the repetition. People tend to have bad preconceived ideas about a person doing these kinds of rituals. These persons often come across as a weirdo, a space-head, an esoteric cuckoo, etc. I rather be an esoteric cuckoo than a desperate soul stuck in the pit of depression though.

Thanks again!