How would you feel?

[Darkness]

There have been a couple of woman that I have known that have been hurt from previous relationships. Some of them get over it and go for other guys, but then get hurt again.

So being the nice guy I am, I come in and try to comfort them from the hells of depression, loneliness, sadness...etc I show them that there are people out there that do care and are willing to help them get back on track.

Some of these woman though I am attractive to and we have a TON of stuff in common,( i'm talking over the years, im not talking about a couple woman currently) but yet the thing that hurts me the most is... They would rather stay a lone and miserable the rest of there life instead of going out with me. I just hate how some woman judge you because of your height, age, looks before they get to know the real you.

How would you feel if men or woman did this to you?

 

[Callie]

Honestly, it would depend on how you come across to them. On one hand, you're always there when they need a shoulder to cry on, so they may see you as more a best friend or big brother type... On the other hand, if this is basically what you do, they may think that's how YOU see THEM.
Have you ever put it out there that you are interested or do you just comfort them and hope?

 

[IgnoredOne]

Such is life. Marvel gently at the self-destructive aspect of humanity and reflect on what lessons it grants you. Attraction, as you have discovered, is not rational and the best of intentions are rarely recognized by souls by which gratitude is but dimly remembered.

 

[Pheenix]

Just make sure not to ever let them go for it when severely depressed, if that ever happens. That's not fair.

 

[Darkness]

Honestly, it would depend on how you come across to them. On one hand, you're always there when they need a shoulder to cry on, so they may see you as more a best friend or big brother type... On the other hand, if this is basically what you do, they may think that's how YOU see THEM.
Have you ever put it out there that you are interested or do you just comfort them and hope?

I pretty much just try to comfort them and hope. I know I need to grow some balls and let them know, but I don't want to hurt them worse than they already are. ( Meaning not having anyone else to go to )

 

[IgnoredOne]

I pretty much just try to comfort them and hope. I know I need to grow some balls and let them know, but I don't want to hurt them worse than they already are. ( Meaning not having anyone else to go to )

http://changingminds.org/techniques/assertiveness/assertiveness.htm

And yes, this will be of value to you.

 

[Darkness]

I pretty much just try to comfort them and hope. I know I need to grow some balls and let them know, but I don't want to hurt them worse than they already are. ( Meaning not having anyone else to go to )

http://changingminds.org/techniques/assertiveness/assertiveness.htm

And yes, this will be of value to you.

Yep I have Submissive behavior!

 

[IgnoredOne]

With acceptance of a flaw, comes the ability to change it. Good luck.

Failing that, find a nice(or otherwise) girl with a whip.

 

[Pheenix]

Ah yes, I like where this is going...

 

[Callie]

With acceptance of a flaw, comes the ability to change it. Good luck.

Failing that, find a nice(or otherwise) girl with a whip.

A "nice" girl probably wouldn't have a whip...

 

[RyanEhf]

I dunno, sometimes the quiet ones are the craziest.

 

[paulo]

cant you just be happy you helped some one thru a difficult time.
if anything hapens after that, than yeee.
but its not really the best time to be "hitting" on someone.
so i wouldnt get my hopes up to much.
expecting something in return isnt really just being nice either.

maybe you should try looking for women that arnt deppresed or sad and lonely.
you might have better luck with them.

 

[nerdygirl]

How would I feel? I'd feel like I should stop expecting people to be psychic. You cannot feel bad about being rejected when you never give anybody the chance to reject you in the first place.

 

[Darkness]

cant you just be happy you helped some one thru a difficult time.
if anything hapens after that, than yeee.
but its not really the best time to be "hitting" on someone.
so i wouldnt get my hopes up to much.
expecting something in return isnt really just being nice either.

maybe you should try looking for women that arnt deppresed or sad and lonely.
you might have better luck with them.

Yes I am happy that I am helping others out through rough times. I really wouldn't say I'm hitting on them right now. I to know this is the wrong time to do it. As for expecting something in return. I by know means think that way at all. I just want them to be happy and get back on track in life.

How would I feel? I'd feel like I should stop expecting people to be psychic. You cannot feel bad about being rejected when you never give anybody the chance to reject you in the first place.

Nerdygirl you are pretty much exactly right. I don't give woman the chance to reject me, but the problem I'm having is they reject me before they even know me. Which is why I never give them a chance. That is what I meant when I made this thread. They look at me and see that I'm small, I'm going to assume I'm not very good looking. I'm more of the laid back type who just sits back and listens to people instead of being the loud mouth *******.
The part that hurts me is none of them look at me being a possible boyfriend. I just want to know why I get turned down before I can give them a chance to turn me down like you said.

I do enjoy helping anybody out. There is no need to preach to you guys about the hells of loneliness, sadness, depression...etc because most of you know this. I haven't had anyone in 25 years. I don't want people to think and go through the things that I do because of those 3 hells and more. That is why I help anyway I can.

 

[IgnoredOne]

I don't see how it is immoral for you to be more assertive about what you want. Rejection happens, but you should at least try. The surest way to fail is not to try.

 

[Darkness]

I don't see how it is immoral for you to be more assertive about what you want. Rejection happens, but you should at least try. The surest way to fail is not to try.

Yep you are correct! I will just have to step up and take it. It may be good or it might be bad, but I won't know till I try.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Yep you are correct! I will just have to step up and take it. It may be good or it might be bad, but I won't know till I try.

You never fail so as long as you learn. Good luck.