I am feeling so lonely

[Dexter]

and what now?

 

[Paraiyar]

Nothing changes, I am still feeling lonely. And no one cares ...

I don't know what to do anymore

So sorry. I can really hear your pain in your words. Partly because I feel the same way. Have for all my life. I do volunteer work now, I go to a few groups and classes every week .... but that's been how it's been for 20+ years now. I never make any connections at any of them. Can't even remember the last conversation I got out of any of the groups and classes I go to. I've been through therapy. Over and over and over again. Been diagnosed with depression, of course, and social anxiety. And with Borderline, Avoidant, and Dependant Personality Disorders. And only in the last few months, the last psychiatrist I saw diagnosed me as being autistic (even though all other therapists I had seen said that I wasn't). Even online, I don't have any connection with anyone, nobody I talk with on any regular basis, and even few places where I feel I can write and express my thoughts and feelings without being bullied or ignored for doing so. Huh, actually, now that I think of it, there isn't ANYWHERE at all. I dropped out of writing on here for a long time because it just felt like there was so many people willing to churn out the same cliched advice, even when it is quite evident that it doesn't help everyone, but very, very few people who are actually willing to try and be friends. I find that a lot though, everywhere, that most people aren't willing to try, aren't willing to make an effort. If you want to be friends with a 41 year old Australian, or if anyone does, I'm more than willing to try. Although experience tells me not to hold my breath .....

Why don't you try the chatroom, it's a lot more fufilling.

 

[Dexter]

Nothing changes, I am still feeling lonely. And no one cares ...

I don't know what to do anymore

So sorry. I can really hear your pain in your words. Partly because I feel the same way. Have for all my life. I do volunteer work now, I go to a few groups and classes every week .... but that's been how it's been for 20+ years now. I never make any connections at any of them. Can't even remember the last conversation I got out of any of the groups and classes I go to. I've been through therapy. Over and over and over again. Been diagnosed with depression, of course, and social anxiety. And with Borderline, Avoidant, and Dependant Personality Disorders. And only in the last few months, the last psychiatrist I saw diagnosed me as being autistic (even though all other therapists I had seen said that I wasn't). Even online, I don't have any connection with anyone, nobody I talk with on any regular basis, and even few places where I feel I can write and express my thoughts and feelings without being bullied or ignored for doing so. Huh, actually, now that I think of it, there isn't ANYWHERE at all. I dropped out of writing on here for a long time because it just felt like there was so many people willing to churn out the same cliched advice, even when it is quite evident that it doesn't help everyone, but very, very few people who are actually willing to try and be friends. I find that a lot though, everywhere, that most people aren't willing to try, aren't willing to make an effort. If you want to be friends with a 41 year old Australian, or if anyone does, I'm more than willing to try. Although experience tells me not to hold my breath .....

You say you want to talk and be friends. But in the end you never replied to my message.

That sucks. People come here and say: let's talk and let's be friends. But in the end they don't care about it.

"Although experience tells me not to hold my breath". Looks like you were right.

 

[reynard_muldrake]

Nothing changes, I am still feeling lonely. And no one cares ...

I don't know what to do anymore

So sorry. I can really hear your pain in your words. Partly because I feel the same way. Have for all my life. I do volunteer work now, I go to a few groups and classes every week .... but that's been how it's been for 20+ years now. I never make any connections at any of them. Can't even remember the last conversation I got out of any of the groups and classes I go to. I've been through therapy. Over and over and over again. Been diagnosed with depression, of course, and social anxiety. And with Borderline, Avoidant, and Dependant Personality Disorders. And only in the last few months, the last psychiatrist I saw diagnosed me as being autistic (even though all other therapists I had seen said that I wasn't). Even online, I don't have any connection with anyone, nobody I talk with on any regular basis, and even few places where I feel I can write and express my thoughts and feelings without being bullied or ignored for doing so. Huh, actually, now that I think of it, there isn't ANYWHERE at all. I dropped out of writing on here for a long time because it just felt like there was so many people willing to churn out the same cliched advice, even when it is quite evident that it doesn't help everyone, but very, very few people who are actually willing to try and be friends. I find that a lot though, everywhere, that most people aren't willing to try, aren't willing to make an effort. If you want to be friends with a 41 year old Australian, or if anyone does, I'm more than willing to try. Although experience tells me not to hold my breath .....

You say you want to talk and be friends. But in the end you never replied to my message.

That sucks. People come here and say: let's talk and let's be friends. But in the end they don't care about it.

"Although experience tells me not to hold my breath". Looks like you were right.

I checked that person's profile and I noticed he hasn't been on since the 10th. Cold comfort, maybe, but I doubt he intentionally snubbed you. Anyway, I check this forum regularly so you can message me if you'd like.

 

[Paraiyar]

Nothing changes, I am still feeling lonely. And no one cares ...

I don't know what to do anymore

So sorry. I can really hear your pain in your words. Partly because I feel the same way. Have for all my life. I do volunteer work now, I go to a few groups and classes every week .... but that's been how it's been for 20+ years now. I never make any connections at any of them. Can't even remember the last conversation I got out of any of the groups and classes I go to. I've been through therapy. Over and over and over again. Been diagnosed with depression, of course, and social anxiety. And with Borderline, Avoidant, and Dependant Personality Disorders. And only in the last few months, the last psychiatrist I saw diagnosed me as being autistic (even though all other therapists I had seen said that I wasn't). Even online, I don't have any connection with anyone, nobody I talk with on any regular basis, and even few places where I feel I can write and express my thoughts and feelings without being bullied or ignored for doing so. Huh, actually, now that I think of it, there isn't ANYWHERE at all. I dropped out of writing on here for a long time because it just felt like there was so many people willing to churn out the same cliched advice, even when it is quite evident that it doesn't help everyone, but very, very few people who are actually willing to try and be friends. I find that a lot though, everywhere, that most people aren't willing to try, aren't willing to make an effort. If you want to be friends with a 41 year old Australian, or if anyone does, I'm more than willing to try. Although experience tells me not to hold my breath .....

You say you want to talk and be friends. But in the end you never replied to my message.

That sucks. People come here and say: let's talk and let's be friends. But in the end they don't care about it.

"Although experience tells me not to hold my breath". Looks like you were right.

I checked that person's profile and I noticed he hasn't been on since the 10th. Cold comfort, maybe, but I doubt he intentionally snubbed you. Anyway, I check this forum regularly so you can message me if you'd like.

Yeah, Cucuboth frequently doesn't check in for relatively long periods of time.

 

[Dexter]

Should I even bother writing here anymore? It doesn't seem to be going anywhere

 

[VanillaCreme]

Should I even bother writing here anymore? It doesn't seem to be going anywhere

I think you should stop expecting what you want, and start acknowledging what you do get. I don't know you, but I also barely had the chance. Because as soon as you didn't get replies that you're seeking for, you either argued about not getting them or disappeared altogether. You can't deny people the opportunity to even speak with you, and then complain that no one bothers talking to you. Well, I saw with my own eyes that we barely got the chance.

 

[Dexter]

Should I even bother writing here anymore? It doesn't seem to be going anywhere

I think you should stop expecting what you want, and start acknowledging what you do get. I don't know you, but I also barely had the chance. Because as soon as you didn't get replies that you're seeking for, you either argued about not getting them or disappeared altogether. You can't deny people the opportunity to even speak with you, and then complain that no one bothers talking to you. Well, I saw with my own eyes that we barely got the chance.

I normally do give people more than enough opportunities to talk to me.

It happens very rarely that this is not the case. One of those cases was the ALL chatroom. And you are probably making your assumptions based on our interactions in the ALL chatroom. It wasn't really a pleasant encounter we two have had there.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Should I even bother writing here anymore? It doesn't seem to be going anywhere

I think you should stop expecting what you want, and start acknowledging what you do get. I don't know you, but I also barely had the chance. Because as soon as you didn't get replies that you're seeking for, you either argued about not getting them or disappeared altogether. You can't deny people the opportunity to even speak with you, and then complain that no one bothers talking to you. Well, I saw with my own eyes that we barely got the chance.

I normally do give people more than enough opportunities to talk to me.

It happens very rarely that this is not the case. One of those cases was the ALL chatroom. And you are probably making your assumptions based on our interactions in the ALL chatroom. It wasn't really a pleasant encounter we two have had there.

Not everyone in the chat room is going to get along with each other.  If that's what you were expecting, you need to work on your expectations.  But no, I'm sorry, I agree with Nilla.  You aren't give anyone a real chance.  You are quick to jump to "why should I even bother" when it's pretty clear that at least a couple of people were trying with you in the chat room and are trying with you on the forum.  Instead of jumping to your own conclusions, do your research.  That guy that you claimed didn't bother with you doesn't get on that often.  Chances are high that if you would have visited his profile/looked at his posts, you would have noticed this yourself.  You seem to attack first, ask questions later.

 

[Dexter]

Should I even bother writing here anymore? It doesn't seem to be going anywhere

I think you should stop expecting what you want, and start acknowledging what you do get. I don't know you, but I also barely had the chance. Because as soon as you didn't get replies that you're seeking for, you either argued about not getting them or disappeared altogether. You can't deny people the opportunity to even speak with you, and then complain that no one bothers talking to you. Well, I saw with my own eyes that we barely got the chance.

I normally do give people more than enough opportunities to talk to me.

It happens very rarely that this is not the case. One of those cases was the ALL chatroom. And you are probably making your assumptions based on our interactions in the ALL chatroom. It wasn't really a pleasant encounter we two have had there.

Not everyone in the chat room is going to get along with each other.  If that's what you were expecting, you need to work on your expectations.  But no, I'm sorry, I agree with Nilla.  You aren't give anyone a real chance.  You are quick to jump to "why should I even bother" when it's pretty clear that at least a couple of people were trying with you in the chat room and are trying with you on the forum.  Instead of jumping to your own conclusions, do your research.  That guy that you claimed didn't bother with you doesn't get on that often.  Chances are high that if you would have visited his profile/looked at his posts, you would have noticed this yourself.  You seem to attack first, ask questions later.

I am trying to talk to everyone on the forum who is interested. I am giving everyone here in this forum a chance. When someone offers to talk but then he never comes back here. The result is that you can't talk to that person. It's quite simple. How is this going to help or how should it work out then?

How can you say, that someone is trying when they are never coming back after posting something here. It wasn't the first time. Several people say they want to talk. But when I send a pm I never get an answer. No matter if they just don't feel like talking anymore or if they just never came back to the forum in general.

In regards of the chatroom: when both, a moderator and the admin are jumping at you ... what is the point of staying in such a chatroom?

 

[TheRealCallie]

I am trying to talk to everyone on the forum who is interested. I am giving everyone here in this forum a chance. When someone offers to talk but then he never comes back here. The result is that you can't talk to that person. It's quite simple. How is this going to help or how should it work out then?

How can you say, that someone is trying when they are never coming back after posting something here. It wasn't the first time. Several people say they want to talk. But when I send a pm I never get an answer. No matter if they just don't feel like talking anymore or if they just never came back to the forum in general.

In regards of the chatroom: when both, a moderator and the admin are jumping at you ... what is the point of staying in such a chatroom?

So you're expecting someone to be there 24/7 to answer your PM the second you send it?  That's not even logical.  Most people don't come to the forum every day.  Why don't you check the tracking and see if they even read the PMs yet?  If they haven't, then you need to calm down and be patient.  If they have, well, then you can carry on, as is. 

As for the chat room.  No one was jumping at you, but when every other thing you say is asking everyone if you should even bother, that generally tends to turn people off.  If you don't want to bother, don't. 

If you want some real kind of relationships here, whether on the forum or in the chat room, you need to stop being so negative and start participating in a more positive way without jumping to conclusions.

 

[Dexter]

I am trying to talk to everyone on the forum who is interested. I am giving everyone here in this forum a chance. When someone offers to talk but then he never comes back here. The result is that you can't talk to that person. It's quite simple. How is this going to help or how should it work out then?

How can you say, that someone is trying when they are never coming back after posting something here. It wasn't the first time. Several people say they want to talk. But when I send a pm I never get an answer. No matter if they just don't feel like talking anymore or if they just never came back to the forum in general.

In regards of the chatroom: when both, a moderator and the admin are jumping at you ... what is the point of staying in such a chatroom?

So you're expecting someone to be there 24/7 to answer your PM the second you send it?  That's not even logical.  Most people don't come to the forum every day.  Why don't you check the tracking and see if they even read the PMs yet?  If they haven't, then you need to calm down and be patient.  If they have, well, then you can carry on, as is. 

As for the chat room.  No one was jumping at you, but when every other thing you say is asking everyone if you should even bother, that generally tends to turn people off.  If you don't want to bother, don't. 

If you want some real kind of relationships here, whether on the forum or in the chat room, you need to stop being so negative and start participating in a more positive way without jumping to conclusions.

I am not expecting anyone to answer my PMs 24/7. And no one has to be here everyday. What makes you come to this conclusion.

If you take a look at his post and my post complaining about him, you can see that they are around 10 to 11 days between them. So I waited for 10 days, no one has to be here 24/7. I never said such a thing.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Should I even bother writing here anymore? It doesn't seem to be going anywhere

I think you should stop expecting what you want, and start acknowledging what you do get. I don't know you, but I also barely had the chance. Because as soon as you didn't get replies that you're seeking for, you either argued about not getting them or disappeared altogether. You can't deny people the opportunity to even speak with you, and then complain that no one bothers talking to you. Well, I saw with my own eyes that we barely got the chance.

I normally do give people more than enough opportunities to talk to me.

It happens very rarely that this is not the case. One of those cases was the ALL chatroom. And you are probably making your assumptions based on our interactions in the ALL chatroom. It wasn't really a pleasant encounter we two have had there.

Because you didn't make it that way. You wanted what you wanted, the replies and the responses, and when you didn't get that on a level you cared for, you became rude about it. Sorry, but you were pretty rude. And you can say all you want that you were simply asking a question, but when you continue to repeat it, probably trying to get the response you wanted instead of the one you got, it's only natural for folks to become annoyed. But you decided to keep asking, so playing the innocent victim about it won't play out that well. You want a decent conversation? Have a decent attitude.

 

[Dexter]

Should I even bother writing here anymore? It doesn't seem to be going anywhere

I think you should stop expecting what you want, and start acknowledging what you do get. I don't know you, but I also barely had the chance. Because as soon as you didn't get replies that you're seeking for, you either argued about not getting them or disappeared altogether. You can't deny people the opportunity to even speak with you, and then complain that no one bothers talking to you. Well, I saw with my own eyes that we barely got the chance.

I normally do give people more than enough opportunities to talk to me.

It happens very rarely that this is not the case. One of those cases was the ALL chatroom. And you are probably making your assumptions based on our interactions in the ALL chatroom. It wasn't really a pleasant encounter we two have had there.

Because you didn't make it that way. You wanted what you wanted, the replies and the responses, and when you didn't get that on a level you cared for, you became rude about it. Sorry, but you were pretty rude. And you can say all you want that you were simply asking a question, but when you continue to repeat it, probably trying to get the response you wanted instead of the one you got, it's only natural for folks to become annoyed. But you decided to keep asking, so playing the innocent victim about it won't play out that well. You want a decent conversation? Have a decent attitude.

Do you want to start discussing this again? I guess it doesn't matter what I respond to that. You didn't believe what I said back then and it probably won't be any different now. I never gave anyone there a reason to not believe me what I am saying.

Please go ahead and ask other people who saw it. Only you and Jen perceived it in this way.

I can only say it once again. There wasn't any bad intention in anything I said there, there wasn't a response I was looking for. I had no bad intentions at all.

If you want to further discuss that we can do it via PM.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I am not expecting anyone to answer my PMs 24/7. And no one has to be here everyday. What makes you come to this conclusion.

If you take a look at his post and my post complaining about him, you can see that they are around 10 to 11 days between them. So I waited for 10 days, no one has to be here 24/7. I never said such a thing.

He hasn't been ONLINE since he posted that response to you thread.  Take a look at his profile, you can see for yourself when his last visit here was.  Just because he hasn't returned or read your read yet doesn't mean he wasn't sincere.

---

Please go ahead and ask other people who saw it. Only you and Jen perceived it in this way.

So I assume you asked every person that was in there?

 

[Dexter]

I am not expecting anyone to answer my PMs 24/7. And no one has to be here everyday. What makes you come to this conclusion.

If you take a look at his post and my post complaining about him, you can see that they are around 10 to 11 days between them. So I waited for 10 days, no one has to be here 24/7. I never said such a thing.

He hasn't been ONLINE since he posted that response to you thread.  Take a look at his profile, you can see for yourself when his last visit here was.  Just because he hasn't returned or read your read yet doesn't mean he wasn't sincere.

---

Please go ahead and ask other people who saw it. Only you and Jen perceived it in this way.

So I assume you asked every person that was in there?

---

I talked to some people about it after it happened.


What does that have to do with you assuming that I am expecting people to be here 24/7? I waited for about 10 days.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Should I even bother writing here anymore? It doesn't seem to be going anywhere

I think you should stop expecting what you want, and start acknowledging what you do get. I don't know you, but I also barely had the chance. Because as soon as you didn't get replies that you're seeking for, you either argued about not getting them or disappeared altogether. You can't deny people the opportunity to even speak with you, and then complain that no one bothers talking to you. Well, I saw with my own eyes that we barely got the chance.

I normally do give people more than enough opportunities to talk to me.

It happens very rarely that this is not the case. One of those cases was the ALL chatroom. And you are probably making your assumptions based on our interactions in the ALL chatroom. It wasn't really a pleasant encounter we two have had there.

Because you didn't make it that way. You wanted what you wanted, the replies and the responses, and when you didn't get that on a level you cared for, you became rude about it. Sorry, but you were pretty rude. And you can say all you want that you were simply asking a question, but when you continue to repeat it, probably trying to get the response you wanted instead of the one you got, it's only natural for folks to become annoyed. But you decided to keep asking, so playing the innocent victim about it won't play out that well. You want a decent conversation? Have a decent attitude.

Do you want to start discussing this again? I guess it doesn't matter what I respond to that. You didn't believe what I said back then and it probably won't be any different now. I never gave anyone there a reason to not believe me what I am saying.

Please go ahead and ask other people who saw it. Only you and Jen perceived it in this way.

I can only say it once again. There wasn't any bad intention in anything I said there, there wasn't a response I was looking for. I had no bad intentions at all.

If you want to further discuss that we can do it via PM.

Think whatever you want to think about it. That doesn't negate the fact that you tend to treat people as though they're disposable for your use. Okay, someone didn't reply within the time frame you wanted. Do you realize the forum you're on? A lot of people are here for the same reason you are. And many folks find it difficult to open up and speak with someone. Stop assuming that it's because they just want to bluntly ignore you. It's not always about you. If you considered other people's feelings and thought processes before expecting them to reply, and complaining when they don't, you'd understand that maybe it's hard for some folks to carry on a discussion.

 

[Dexter]

I think you should stop expecting what you want, and start acknowledging what you do get. I don't know you, but I also barely had the chance. Because as soon as you didn't get replies that you're seeking for, you either argued about not getting them or disappeared altogether. You can't deny people the opportunity to even speak with you, and then complain that no one bothers talking to you. Well, I saw with my own eyes that we barely got the chance.

I normally do give people more than enough opportunities to talk to me.

It happens very rarely that this is not the case. One of those cases was the ALL chatroom. And you are probably making your assumptions based on our interactions in the ALL chatroom. It wasn't really a pleasant encounter we two have had there.

Because you didn't make it that way. You wanted what you wanted, the replies and the responses, and when you didn't get that on a level you cared for, you became rude about it. Sorry, but you were pretty rude. And you can say all you want that you were simply asking a question, but when you continue to repeat it, probably trying to get the response you wanted instead of the one you got, it's only natural for folks to become annoyed. But you decided to keep asking, so playing the innocent victim about it won't play out that well. You want a decent conversation? Have a decent attitude.

Do you want to start discussing this again? I guess it doesn't matter what I respond to that. You didn't believe what I said back then and it probably won't be any different now. I never gave anyone there a reason to not believe me what I am saying.

Please go ahead and ask other people who saw it. Only you and Jen perceived it in this way.

I can only say it once again. There wasn't any bad intention in anything I said there, there wasn't a response I was looking for. I had no bad intentions at all.

If you want to further discuss that we can do it via PM.

Think whatever you want to think about it. That doesn't negate the fact that you tend to treat people as though they're disposable for your use. Okay, someone didn't reply within the time frame you wanted. Do you realize the forum you're on? A lot of people are here for the same reason you are. And many folks find it difficult to open up and speak with someone. Stop assuming that it's because they just want to bluntly ignore you. It's not always about you. If you considered other people's feelings and thought processes before expecting them to reply, and complaining when they don't, you'd understand that maybe it's hard for some folks to carry on a discussion.

I am not treating anyone as "disposable for my use".



I think we should stop here. This discussion isn't going anywhere.

 

[TheRealCallie]

You came into the chat room asking to be a mod so you can ban everyone.....how exactly did you think that would go?

 

[Dexter]

You came into the chat room asking to be a mod so you can ban everyone.....how exactly did you think that would go?

It was just a joke.

I told you that it was just a joke and I wasn't being serious. But you decided that you don't want to believe me.