I find this Lady totally rude in one of the support groups

[Bluerose]

I went to one of the depression support groups recently, in this meeting this lady was telling her story. During that session, this other lady was telling her that she likes to get to know her and asks for her phone number.

I thought that was totally rude..

First off she asking a total stranger out of the blue for her phone number, second which bugs me the most, is that she asks during the session.. She could have waited until after the session to talk to this lady. After the meeting I saw her talking to the same lady and sort of gave her a dirty look.

She made me feel very insecure when she spoke to that other lady during the session. Sad I saw them walking outside together I felt even more insecure and developed more low self esteem.. I never went back to that support group. Some people have no consideration..

I find it completely disturbing how one individual would complement another during a support meeting and leaving others in the cold....

 

[EveWasFramed]

I went to one of the depression support groups recently, in this meeting this lady was telling her story. During that session, this other lady was telling her that she likes to get to know her and asks for her phone number.

I thought that was totally rude. I never went back to that support group. Some people have no consideration..

errr.... I admit to being confused. It was inconsiderate for two people in a support group, to make friends with each other?

*scratches head*

 

[Steel]

I must say I'm a bit confused as well. I would imagine the fact that they hit it off was a good thing?

 

[wolfshadow]

Did you feel upset because this instant-friendship you witnessed at the group excluded everyone else, or did the source of your discomfort arise from the possibility that you considered the actions of the woman who asked for the phone number a bit over familiar?

I understand that it can be very frustrating to see someone else apparently making a positive breakthrough whilst you feel very much marginalised. It's happened to me many times (albeit under different circumstances) and whenever I've been struggling, the success of others has often been a very bittersweet pill to swallow. The only thing I've learnt that I can pass on is to try and make an concerted effort not to begrudge those who seem to be having an easier time of it than I. Many times I have later discovered that the crosses they have to bear put them at the very least on an equal footing with me in the misery stakes.

 

[Bluerose]

errr.... I admit to being confused. It was inconsiderate for two people in a support group, to make friends with each other?

I must say I'm a bit confused as well. I would imagine the fact that they hit it off was a good thing?

Did you feel upset because this instant-friendship you witnessed at the group excluded everyone else, or did the source of your discomfort arise from the possibility that you considered the actions of the woman who asked for the phone number a bit over familiar?

OH BROTHER!

Maybe I made a mistake posting this tread, it's seems like no1 understands the situation I'm going thru..

 

[wolfshadow]

Sorry Bluerose wish I could have been more helpful - it's darned annoying when people aren't getting what one is trying to say.

Hopefully, the next person who posts will do a better job.

 

[EveWasFramed]

errr.... I admit to being confused. It was inconsiderate for two people in a support group, to make friends with each other?

I must say I'm a bit confused as well. I would imagine the fact that they hit it off was a good thing?

Did you feel upset because this instant-friendship you witnessed at the group excluded everyone else, or did the source of your discomfort arise from the possibility that you considered the actions of the woman who asked for the phone number a bit over familiar?

I went to one of the depression support groups recently, in this meeting this lady was telling her story. During that session, this other lady was telling her that she likes to get to know her and asks for her phone number.

I thought that was totally rude

First off she asking a total stranger out of the blue for her phone number, second which bugs me the most, is that she asks during the session.. She could have waited until after the session to talk to this lady. After the meeting I saw her talking to the same lady and sort of gave her a dirty look

She made me feel very insecure when she spoke to that other lady during the session. Sad I saw them walking outside together I felt even more insecure and developed more low self esteem.. I never went back to that support group. Some people have no consideration..

I find it completely disturbing how one individual would complement another during a support meeting and leaving others in the cold

Maybe I made a mistake posting this tread, it's seems like no1 understands the situation I'm going thru

...she asks for her phone number. I thought that was totally rude......
she asking a total stranger out of the blue for her phone number, second which bugs me the most.........I find it completely disturbing how one individual would complement another.........I never went back to that support group. ........She made me feel very insecure ............Some people have no consideration......
After the meeting I saw her talking to the same lady and sort of gave her a dirty look.....

Bluerose, have you ever considered that perhaps your feelings about others might show on your face? If you are unknowingly projecting these kids of feelings (or vibes, if you will) then people are likely picking up on them.

The "situation" you speak of, seems to be that it makes you feel sad, when you see others making friends and getting the support they need, and you aren't. That much is understood and I'm truly sorry that you having such difficulties. However, perhaps a bit of self-reflection might be prudent. People do not gravitate towards people they consider "bitter." Treat others as you would like to be treated and it might be of some help. Perhaps a smile next time, instead of a dirty look might be in order? You know, honey versus vinegar and all that. Good luck.

 

[Minus]

I couldn't say, not knowing the meeting structure but such "cross talk" during many support meeting is often frowned on.

 

[alonerly]

That was indeed very rude of her. She should have at least waited until the group was out of session instead of doing that in front of everyone and making them (including you) feel left out.

 

[Unacceptance]

People are allowed to become friends. Why are you angry? Why don't you try like, asking someone else for a phone number and become their friend? What is rude about that at all?

 

[Bluerose]

Bluerose, have you ever considered that perhaps your feelings about others might show on your face? If you are unknowingly projecting these kids of feelings (or vibes, if you will) then people are likely picking up on them.

The "situation" you speak of, seems to be that it makes you feel sad, when you see others making friends and getting the support they need, and you aren't. That much is understood and I'm truly sorry that you having such difficulties. However, perhaps a bit of self-reflection might be prudent. People do not gravitate towards people they consider "bitter." Treat others as you would like to be treated and it might be of some help. Perhaps a smile next time, instead of a dirty look might be in order? You know, honey versus vinegar and all that. Good luck.

People are allowed to become friends. Why are you angry? Why don't you try like, asking someone else for a phone number and become their friend? What is rude about that at all?

To let everyone know that I was being friendly to people trying to make conversations and make friends but all I got out of it is being ignored or ridiculed. One time at another support group I saw a lady sitting by herself, she looked lonely so I went up and talk to her and she send me away. Next minute I overheard her talking to someone else about how I approached her and thought it was pathetic. I was pretty much hurt that I never went back to that support group. I did confront her, telling her it was wrong of what she did, but still I was very hurt.. Because of this I became very bitter and didn't trust anyone that's why I felt the way I did about that lady who got friendly with this other person. And as for giving people a smile and asking them for their phone number, GIVE ME A FCKING BREAK!! I don't want to go through being ridiculed again.. I"ll leave it up to fate.

 

[Unacceptance]

Bluerose, have you ever considered that perhaps your feelings about others might show on your face? If you are unknowingly projecting these kids of feelings (or vibes, if you will) then people are likely picking up on them.

The "situation" you speak of, seems to be that it makes you feel sad, when you see others making friends and getting the support they need, and you aren't. That much is understood and I'm truly sorry that you having such difficulties. However, perhaps a bit of self-reflection might be prudent. People do not gravitate towards people they consider "bitter." Treat others as you would like to be treated and it might be of some help. Perhaps a smile next time, instead of a dirty look might be in order? You know, honey versus vinegar and all that. Good luck.

People are allowed to become friends. Why are you angry? Why don't you try like, asking someone else for a phone number and become their friend? What is rude about that at all?

To let everyone know that I was being friendly to people trying to make conversations and make friends but all I got out of it is being ignored or ridiculed. One time at another support group I saw a lady sitting by herself, she looked lonely so I went up and talk to her and she send me away. Next minute I overheard her talking to someone else about how I approached her and thought it was pathetic. I was pretty much hurt that I never went back to that support group. I did confront her, telling her it was wrong of what she did, but still I was very hurt.. Because of this I became very bitter and didn't trust anyone that's why I felt the way I did about that lady who got friendly with this other person. And as for giving people a smile and asking them for their phone number, GIVE ME A FCKING BREAK!! I don't want to go through being ridiculed again.. I"ll leave it up to fate.

Well nothing says you need to ask a phone number, how about just saying stuff like hello?

You can't let some random person who has no bearing on your life define how you are going to live for the rest of it. Jerks are everywhere, it's not up to them to live for you.

I still don't see why that was a problem it's not like the person who approached the other person were in an way related to what happened to you, were they? If anything it sounds like an opportunity to join in with one of them since they have the same idea you did.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

In a support group or 12 steps programs,
I've been going to them for over 15 years..since 1992

It's one of the most basic things you do is get phone # , back when..lol
It's call net working and support.

ERRRR....not everybody is WELL.
Everyone has their own issues...that's why you go to support groups.


In some meetings a note book is passed around.
You can simply write your phone number on it , if you
wish to participate...You don't have to put you number
on it if you don't want too. This makes it less personal.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING IN A 12 STEP PROGRAM.

It takes time...that's why they say keep coming back...
I sat and stair at the walls for the first 90 days of my recovery.

Even just recently when i started attending meetings again. It felt creepy for me to be around people.
I kept going back becuase a lady said...She knew actaully what i felt like becuase she went through
the samething as i did when she first started attending the meetings...becuase she also Isolated herself for a while.
Yes..it showed on my face and the way I was carrying myself. She simply spoke to me for a moment knowning
I didn't want to be spoken to nor touched by anyone.

To the contary to what most people might think about about me.
I don't trust WOMEN...I've had too many bad experince with them.
The first thought that ran through my mind was; WTF DOSE THIS ***** WANT FROM ME ?.

My grand sponsor had always treated me that way....I gave me plenty of room and space.
All he ever told me was to keep coming back..it'll ge better and it won't happened overnight.
I felt he was the only person that I could trust at that time...he was an elder gentlement.

Even now...my sponsor is the sameway...He dosn't tell me to do anything.
I felt he was the only person I can trust...I've know him for a while..even so.
My sopnsor is medical doctor...he's has money up the fucken waazoo and a hawt GF and a lot of peace in his life.
I didn't have anything he could steal nor violated. TURST...I had to learn how to TRUST him.

Yes..I had a lot of trust issues. I turst people about as far as i can throw them...(which is not far)

I go to meetings to save my ASS and not save my FACE.

Meetings helps me...becuase of my anonymity.
I can say or share what ever the hell is bothering me without being judged.
If people take my inventory...that's their god **** problems..."have a fucken nut"
I don't want to drink today. I have a million reasons to drink today...but I don't and i choose not to, inspite of it all.
I don't take anytype on pills or medications either. My body dosn't know if it's street drugs or precribtion drugs...
A drug is a drug...is a drug...
I don't put any mind altering or mood changing substance into my body.....simply becuase I'll start taking pills like
candi and my brain and body will get addicted to it.

I work the 12 steps so I can get well.
The 12 steps is not about not using drugs...it's about learning how to live without drugs or alcohol.

Yes ...you learn to say "NO" in recovery.
You also learn to not worry so **** much what people think and say about you...
Working the 12 steps will help you...see your living pattern.
Do an inventory of yourself will help you recognize yourself better.

Yes...guys hitted up and my EX all the time fucken in front of me and talk honeysuckle about me.
becuase they're doing the 13th steps and have alternative motives.

Yes..I have issues with this crap...but I hung around enough for faith to slaps those
sons of btiches in the face and my EX too.
Just recently a group of women visited one of the meetings...
They share thier exprince , strength and hope...The truth...the honest truth.
A simple slogon in AA or NA....you can't bullshiter a bullshitter.

ONe thing I do know...Anyone that's ever messed with my recovery usually relapsed and died.
Yes it is that serious...alcoholism and addictions kills..
I've watch thousand upon thousand of people go in and out of recovery rooms..A lot of them died.

Yes...FILTER THe BULLSHIT...you don't have to like everyone in a support group.
It's the same lesson you'll learn in life...because there's sons of bitches everywhere you go.
My name is Shroom and I'm not fucken Polianna..lmao

99.9999% of alocholics suffers from depressions...alcohol and drugs abuse were means of copping with depressions.

 

[Bluerose]

Well nothing says you need to ask a phone number, how about just saying stuff like hello?

You can't let some random person who has no bearing on your life define how you are going to live for the rest of it. Jerks are everywhere, it's not up to them to live for you.

I still don't see why that was a problem it's not like the person who approached the other person were in an way related to what happened to you, were they? If anything it sounds like an opportunity to join in with one of them since they have the same idea you did.

In a support group or 12 steps programs,
I've been going to them for almost 15 years..

It's one of the most basic things you do.
It's call net working and support.

ERRRR....not everybody is WELL.
Everyone has their own issues...that's why you go to support groups.


In some meetings a note book is passed around.
You can simply write your phone number on it , if you
wish to participate...You don't have to put you number
on it if you want too. This makes it less personal.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING IN A 12 STEP PROGRAM.

It takes time...that's why they say keep coming back...
I sat and stair at the walls for the first 90 days of my recovery.

Even just recently when i started attending meetings again. It felt creepy for me to be around people.
I kept going back becuase a lady said...She knew actaully what i felt like becuase she went through
the samething as i did when she first started attending the meetings...becuase she also Isolated herself for a while.

Yes..I had a lot of trust issues. I turst people about as far as i can throw them...(which is not far)

I go to meetings to save my ASS and not save my FACE.

Meetings helps me...becuase of my anonymity.
I can say or share what ever the hell is bothering me without being judged.
But I also work the 12 steps so I can get well.

Yes ...you learn to say "NO" in recovery.
You also learn to not worry so **** much what people thing and say about you...
Working the 12 steps well help you...see your living pattern.
Do an inventory of yourself will help you recognize yourself better.

Yes...guys hitted up and my EX all the time fucken in front of me and talk honeysuckle about me.
becuase they're doing the 13th steps and have alternative motives.

Yes..I have issues with this crap...but I hung around enough for faith to slaps those
sons of btiches in the face and my EX too.

Just recently a group of women visited one of the meetings...
They share thier exprince , strength and hope...The truth...the honest truth.

ONe thing I do know...Anyone that's ever messed with my recovery usually relapsed and died.
Yes it is that serious...alcoholism and addictions kills..

That is such Bllsht!!

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Well nothing says you need to ask a phone number, how about just saying stuff like hello?

You can't let some random person who has no bearing on your life define how you are going to live for the rest of it. Jerks are everywhere, it's not up to them to live for you.

I still don't see why that was a problem it's not like the person who approached the other person were in an way related to what happened to you, were they? If anything it sounds like an opportunity to join in with one of them since they have the same idea you did.

In a support group or 12 steps programs,
I've been going to them for almost 15 years..

It's one of the most basic things you do.
It's call net working and support.

ERRRR....not everybody is WELL.
Everyone has their own issues...that's why you go to support groups.


In some meetings a note book is passed around.
You can simply write your phone number on it , if you
wish to participate...You don't have to put you number
on it if you want too. This makes it less personal.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING IN A 12 STEP PROGRAM.

It takes time...that's why they say keep coming back...
I sat and stair at the walls for the first 90 days of my recovery.

Even just recently when i started attending meetings again. It felt creepy for me to be around people.
I kept going back becuase a lady said...She knew actaully what i felt like becuase she went through
the samething as i did when she first started attending the meetings...becuase she also Isolated herself for a while.

Yes..I had a lot of trust issues. I turst people about as far as i can throw them...(which is not far)

I go to meetings to save my ASS and not save my FACE.

Meetings helps me...becuase of my anonymity.
I can say or share what ever the hell is bothering me without being judged.
But I also work the 12 steps so I can get well.

Yes ...you learn to say "NO" in recovery.
You also learn to not worry so **** much what people thing and say about you...
Working the 12 steps well help you...see your living pattern.
Do an inventory of yourself will help you recognize yourself better.

Yes...guys hitted up and my EX all the time fucken in front of me and talk honeysuckle about me.
becuase they're doing the 13th steps and have alternative motives.

Yes..I have issues with this crap...but I hung around enough for faith to slaps those
sons of btiches in the face and my EX too.

Just recently a group of women visited one of the meetings...
They share thier exprince , strength and hope...The truth...the honest truth.

ONe thing I do know...Anyone that's ever messed with my recovery usually relapsed and died.
Yes it is that serious...alcoholism and addictions kills..

That is such Bllsht!!

Well...you don't have to attend those meetings...
It's not like anyone is making you.

It's just a program of suggestions ...take it or leave it.

You can come and go anytime you choose.

well...you know how it is when you're not the center of attention
and rejections fucks up most depressed people. They fucken
over react over spilled milk and whine about it

Poor me, pour me another fucken drink or let me take a hit or pop a pill..
It's basic traits and pattern of setting yourself up to go use.

But it's a fucken joke becuase the fucken truth hurts. It's just a defensive mechanism.
In reovery lingo..it's simply call "king alcohol fucken with ya"....cunning and baffling.
Then you wonder why you push people away from your life and you feel depressed and alone...
It's a visious cycle into the abyess. Laugh now and pay later...
When payment comes due...you is got to pay the pipper.
So you'll put it off or push it off...but it's has compounded interest..just like when you don't pay your bills.lol
You can run but you can't hide....You can't run from yourself forever. Living in denial is fun until it stops working.
It'll stop working no matter what you do...When you get to that point of wanting to kill yourself perhasps you
might try listening again. Go as deep as you wanna go...or manage it into the ground.
Because as you got deeper...you'll catch yourself doing things that you swear that you'll never do...but you
end up doing it anyway. Pain , shame and guilt on top of pain shame and guilt...makes you more depressed as hell.
Another trip to the doctor's office (your pusher) to get more pills to numb the fresia out and check the fresia out.

 

[EveWasFramed]

That is such Bllsht!!

*sigh*

 

[SophiaGrace]

Bluerose dont you think that by being bitter you are effectively shutting out any chance of actually connecting with people in support groups?

This was one incident, will you allow this incident to color every similar situation in the future?

For your sake, i hope you dont. I want you to be happy.

 

[Bluerose]

well...you know how it is when you're not the center of attention
and rejections fucks up most depressed people. They fucken
over react over spilled milk and whine about it

Poor me, pour me another fucken drink or let me take a hit or pop a pill..
It's basic traits and pattern of setting yourself up to go use.

But it's a fucken joke becuase the fucken truth hurts. It's just a defensive mechanism.
In reovery lingo..it's simply call "king alcohol fucken with ya"....cunning and baffling.
Then you wonder why you push people away from your life and you feel depressed and alone...
It's a visious cycle into the abyess. Laugh now and pay later...
When payment comes due...you is got to pay the pipper.
So you'll put it off or push it off...but it's has compounded interest..just like when you don't pay your bills.lol
You can run but you can't hide....You can't run from yourself forever. Living in denial is fun until it stops working.
It'll stop working no matter what you do...When you get to that point of wanting to kill yourself perhasps you
might try listening again. Go as deep as you wanna go...or manage it into the ground.
Because as you got deeper...you'll catch yourself doing things that you swear that you'll never do...but you
end up doing it anyway. Pain , shame and guilt on top of pain shame and guilt...makes you more depressed as hell.
Another trip to the doctor's office (your pusher) to get more pills to numb the fresia out and check the fresia out.

^
^
^
This is exactly why I'm so Fcking bitter, I have to deal with this kind of BLLSHT! Well guess what, you've been added to my ignore list... So say whatever the FCK you want to me!

 

[Lonesome Crow]

well...you know how it is when you're not the center of attention
and rejections fucks up most depressed people. They fucken
over react over spilled milk and whine about it

Poor me, pour me another fucken drink or let me take a hit or pop a pill..
It's basic traits and pattern of setting yourself up to go use.

But it's a fucken joke becuase the fucken truth hurts. It's just a defensive mechanism.
In reovery lingo..it's simply call "king alcohol fucken with ya"....cunning and baffling.
Then you wonder why you push people away from your life and you feel depressed and alone...
It's a visious cycle into the abyess. Laugh now and pay later...
When payment comes due...you is got to pay the pipper.
So you'll put it off or push it off...but it's has compounded interest..just like when you don't pay your bills.lol
You can run but you can't hide....You can't run from yourself forever. Living in denial is fun until it stops working.
It'll stop working no matter what you do...When you get to that point of wanting to kill yourself perhasps you
might try listening again. Go as deep as you wanna go...or manage it into the ground.
Because as you got deeper...you'll catch yourself doing things that you swear that you'll never do...but you
end up doing it anyway. Pain , shame and guilt on top of pain shame and guilt...makes you more depressed as hell.
Another trip to the doctor's office (your pusher) to get more pills to numb the fresia out and check the fresia out.

^
^
^
This is exactly why I'm so Fcking bitter, I have to deal with this kind of BLLSHT! Well guess what you've been added to my ignore list... So say whatever the FCK you want to me!

Of course...ignorant is blizts. You can't handle truth and some people never come clean.

Or you can just simply pick up recovery literature. What I write is bascailly written in any AA, NA, or co-dependency literature.
Some of the literature is suger coated and some of it is not. The principle is still the same.
It's bascailly what I did myself and millions of other people had done.

 

[Unacceptance]

Wait so what did I say that was bullshit or makes me ignore you?