I give up

[sjw71]

So I finally worked up the courage to send a 'kiss' on RSPV. I didn't think she was particularly attractive but I thought that we would get along because we liked the same things.

So I sent the 'friend' kiss, I thought we would easily be friends & if anything developed from that then that would be a bonus.

Low & behold I get the "We don't have enough in common" rejection message.

I couldn't believe it. Believe me, this girl is no looker, at the very best she's mediocre (looks wise). With our profiles almost carbon copies of each other in the interests & hobbies department I thought that it must be MY looks.

At the end of the day, if I can't have attractive AND I can't have average then I guess I might as well not even bother.

To be brutally honest, when I was in my 20's I totally loved women even though it was hard for me then. Since going on dating sites in my 30's I've grown to hate them. When I think about women now all I see are vicious hurtful bitches. I feel like I want to hurt women emotionally and say, 'How does it feel'? Then gloat at their emotional pain.

I'll never do this because I'll never get to even talk to a woman, even if I did, I wouldn't have the balls to do it. I know this is a sick way to think but what am I supposed to do? Just take it on the chin & be happy that every woman is a rude, hurtful attention seeking whore?

I thought maybe I could go gay but the thought of touching a guy turns me off too much.

Suicide is another option but again, I don't have the balls.

Today I though maybe I could be chemically castrated so that I could live my life without the need/want for a woman & I wouldn't have to be constantly suffering.

I know this is how nature works, it weeds out the ugly & the week so we can't reproduce & make another ugly, week offspring.

I truly believe that having a baby should require a licence of some kind with stringent prerequisites. People have to have a licence to drive & even own a dog but any ******* can have a kid & treat it like honeysuckle. It's just not right.

For instance, my father was an abusive alcoholic & my mother has OCD. I am the result. An unhappy, unproductive person who only wishes that he'd never been born.

I realise that I've gone off on a tangent here but I think it all ties in.

 

[evanescencefan91]

*hugs sjw71*

I'm sorry man rejection sucks, I know

a lot of girls are kinda crazy and don't know what they want, so they could have the perfect nice sweet smart guy right there for them, but they look straight past them.

It's hard man but try not to take it too personally.

Everyone can be mean and hurtful at times, and women are no exception, but it shouldn't be like that, many woman are manipulative and vindictive, especially to men that just want to be kind to them, and I think those women give a bad name to our gender.

I sometimes wish I was never born, I resent my parents for forming me into an existence where you have to work and clean and study, and do all this crap, and if you don't you're considered an unsuccessful loser at life. Parents are messed up, but I know they always want best for their kids, unfortunatly their own personal honeysuckle gets in the way of caring for their kids.

But life has some nice things to it, kitties the interwebs, webcomics, awesome music, I'm glad I can experience some of those things.

You know the saying the grass is greener on the other side, relationships are like that, us single people see couples in the media or in public looking so happy with each other that we want it so bad that we forget to focus on ourselves, we put this want of a relationship in front of our happiness, you can live a happy and productive life being single, go on hikes and bike rides, play an instrument attempt to draw, watch really any tv or movie when ever you want online.

I know being single sucks, but that doesn't mean we have to miserable,

and hang in there, you never know maybe some giril might come into your life when you least expect it



good luck

 

[nerdygirl]

As a member of the non-supermodel squad, I've got to say that you're looking at this whole thing all wrong. Why would you expect a girl whose looks are "mediocre" to have lower standards than a beautiful girl? Women who don't fit the standards for beauty are not the generic brand. We aren't the same thing in a less appealing package, waiting for somebody to snatch us up at cheaper prices.

Not only is that horribly offensive, but that sort of thinking puts you into a position to get all upset when you face rejection. You're thinking, "ZOMG, even this subpar chick doesn't want me!?" We're not subpar. We aren't sitting here, desperate to snatch up whatever crumbs the pretty girls leave behind! Furthermore, you're not a crumb!

She's just a girl, you're just a guy, and it just didn't work out. Go send a "kiss" to somebody else.

 

[Badjedidude]

^^^Love it, nerdy. Awesome words, as usual.

 

[Nina]

As a member of the non-supermodel squad, I've got to say that you're looking at this whole thing all wrong. Why would you expect a girl whose looks are "mediocre" to have lower standards than a beautiful girl? Women who don't fit the standards for beauty are not the generic brand. We aren't the same thing in a less appealing package, waiting for somebody to snatch us up at cheaper prices.

Not only is that horribly offensive, but that sort of thinking puts you into a position to get all upset when you face rejection. You're thinking, "ZOMG, even this subpar chick doesn't want me!?" We're not subpar. We aren't sitting here, desperate to snatch up whatever crumbs the pretty girls leave behind! Furthermore, you're not a crumb!

She's just a girl, you're just a guy, and it just didn't work out. Go send a "kiss" to somebody else.

You nailed this to perfection...

 

[IDunKnow]

This isn't something you should be too down about. Things are different when you're basically looking at it as if it were on paper. It's not like she met you in the flesh and talked to you and decided. I think it would benefit you to let it roll right off your back. At least you learned instantly what she's all about, better to figure that out and not have to deal with it down the line. Just feel bad for someone who gets with her and discovers that after investing a lot of time and money.

 

[jjam]

Do not, I repeat, do not hate women. With that in mind, follow these 3 small steps when this happens:

1. in your mind, smile and tell yourself that it is her loss
2. move on to the next
3. if you are rejected 3 times consecutively (3 different women), stop and evaluate yourself

eh... for online matchmaking, might want to give it 6 times.
I'm not into the online dating thing but if I got rejected 3 times by women who are not in a relationship and I am simply looking to start a friendship with, then
I would think it's time to consider some things.

 

[Mr. Sir]

Do NOT commit suicide man. I know exactly what you need to do. PM me for details.

 

[AncientBard]

It's hard man but try not to take it too personally.

Wise Words from a wise person, I think it's worth thinking about sjw71. When I get overwhelmed by all of this kind of garbage that goes through my head I try to take the A.A or N.A. approach and hang on until the next day. One day at a time, Sometimes that tomorrow can be a huge blessing.

 

[the-alchemist]

If you ask my opinion, I think you may have come off as desperate. And believe me from my own painful experiences, noting turns women off more than desperation, and they can smell it from 1000 miles away.

Sucks to be us I know

 

[Minus]

... Women who don't fit the standards for beauty are not the generic brand. We aren't the same thing in a less appealing package, waiting for somebody to snatch us up at cheaper prices.

You put that quite well. It needed said because there has been a couple post lately were the writer was surprised that people they considered to be sub-par did not have the appreciation for the poster interest that was expected.

sjw71 that is an uncomfortable existence and as evanescencefan91 said "rejection sucks" but if you feel that using dating sites had lead you to hate women then maybe it is time that you got away from dating sites and tried something else. Just what is always the difficult question, but your description of dating sites' effect on you isn't positive.

I do hope you find what you are looking for.

 

[queenwindbaby]

Is this Ibis? Just wondering. MO lines up. Sorry if I'm wrong but think I am right, hhhuuummm

 

[misa]

sjw71, :club:

Do not, I repeat, do not hate women. With that in mind, follow these 3 small steps when this happens:

1. in your mind, smile and tell yourself that it is her loss
2. move on to the next
3. if you are rejected 3 times consecutively (3 different women), stop and evaluate yourself

eh... for online matchmaking, might want to give it 6 times.
I'm not into the online dating thing but if I got rejected 3 times by women who are not in a relationship and I am simply looking to start a friendship with, then
I would think it's time to consider some things.

you might want to give it 300 times if you actually factor in the likelihood of meeting someone in reality. you are paying for what is basically myspace with limited search and you have to do all the work. the main benefit is having so many people in one space to contact. then you cold call for dates which is going to suck no matter what. this is all prior to meeting a stranger and actual dating, which has much more tangible downsides.

 

[stalinorgel]

As a member of the non-supermodel squad, I've got to say that you're looking at this whole thing all wrong. Why would you expect a girl whose looks are "mediocre" to have lower standards than a beautiful girl?

Because human beings are animals (primates, ain't that somethin'!) and a lady peacock doesn't take any old peacock with a worn out, matte, and tacky ploom.. the lady peacock wants a gentleman peacock with beautific, vibrant, and healthy looking feathers. Likewise with humans.

Nobody would criticise a woman for rejecting a man who had no job, was not masculine (in the various ways that can manifest itself.. eg, in confidence, assertiveness, etc), and was a general loser. Our hypothetical woman's response is the appropriate, logical response, because her biology desires a man that can provide for her children and protect her--in other words, a man with the trappings of masculine psychology & material possessions (the more, the better!). Granted, this case is the extreme. The woman in the OP described was an average woman (we imagine), yet apparently this swj fellow considers himself within or over her social status, and thus appropriate as a mate. We posters, of course do not also know if this is true or not, but if he was indeed within her social status range, then OP's rejection would be something reasonable people can argue about--not some deranged misogyny. Granted, the rejection described in OP is quite mild in literal terms, but has deeper, more colloquial, meaning which can be quite vindictive. Dating sites are cold, awkward places in general, so the rejection in the context of it being on such complicates the issue, as we'd be dealing with a host of issues about language, sane mating rituals in the modern (ie, technological) world, etc.

Women who don't fit the standards for beauty are not the generic brand. We aren't the same thing in a less appealing package, waiting for somebody to snatch us up at cheaper prices.

This isn't really a direct response but a more general proposition: women are human beings (specifically, of course, the female of the species.) Men are too. We humans are organisms like any other, and should be able to be described in general terms (like we do with ALL animals in science) without there being suspicion of bad faith behind the argumentation the likes of which are on this thread.

I'd say more, but I'm really tired.

 

[Hangman]

So I finally worked up the courage to send a 'kiss' on RSPV. I didn't think she was particularly attractive but I thought that we would get along because we liked the same things.

So I sent the 'friend' kiss, I thought we would easily be friends & if anything developed from that then that would be a bonus.

Low & behold I get the "We don't have enough in common" rejection message.

I couldn't believe it. Believe me, this girl is no looker, at the very best she's mediocre (looks wise). With our profiles almost carbon copies of each other in the interests & hobbies department I thought that it must be MY looks.

At the end of the day, if I can't have attractive AND I can't have average then I guess I might as well not even bother.

To be brutally honest, when I was in my 20's I totally loved women even though it was hard for me then. Since going on dating sites in my 30's I've grown to hate them. When I think about women now all I see are vicious hurtful bitches. I feel like I want to hurt women emotionally and say, 'How does it feel'? Then gloat at their emotional pain.

I'll never do this because I'll never get to even talk to a woman, even if I did, I wouldn't have the balls to do it. I know this is a sick way to think but what am I supposed to do? Just take it on the chin & be happy that every woman is a rude, hurtful attention seeking whore?

I thought maybe I could go gay but the thought of touching a guy turns me off too much.

Suicide is another option but again, I don't have the balls.

Today I though maybe I could be chemically castrated so that I could live my life without the need/want for a woman & I wouldn't have to be constantly suffering.

I know this is how nature works, it weeds out the ugly & the week so we can't reproduce & make another ugly, week offspring.

I truly believe that having a baby should require a licence of some kind with stringent prerequisites. People have to have a licence to drive & even own a dog but any ******* can have a kid & treat it like honeysuckle. It's just not right.

For instance, my father was an abusive alcoholic & my mother has OCD. I am the result. An unhappy, unproductive person who only wishes that he'd never been born.

I realise that I've gone off on a tangent here but I think it all ties in.

buddy, dont blame them, women dont like weak pathetic men, as any one dosent like weak pathetic people, its just a fact of reality, start seeing hookers that will get yoru confidence up, if you were a women would you want a weak man? or a strong social rich man? EXACTLY