I Hate Living In This Nightmare!

[Lost Soul]

I'm supposed to be sleeping, I took my sleeping pills but I can't sleep. My brain is always thinking of something which doesn't help either. Today, I bought a new case for my Dad's computer so it would be the same as my Mom's. His computer has all the same parts but an older case and much heavier so I replaced it.

I come home to install the hardware in the new case it I was really angry becuase my Mom left all the windows and doors open and let all the heat in the house like always. So, I was trying to I was sweating like anything, I was afraid that I would fry the motherboard if I got to much sweat on it lol. My Dad was angueing with me for a half hour how I'm wasting my money and he didn't need a new case. With autism, you get these urges. I get urgues to do things even though they don't have to be done, like buying new computer parts and replacing older ones even though were not in need of a new computer at that time, I decided to do so anyway and I love working on computers. It's one of the few things I enjoy. It's the same with the light switches in the house, the house has the originals but I'm replacing them with the newer rocker switched because I like the look of them and I like upgrading.

Ever since I got home, I had one bad thing after another, from too much heat and humidity in the house, too my Dad complaining, too my Mom not being able to understand what I'm saying for some reason. Just a typical day for me, I have lots of days like these.

 

[SunWeb]

I've found some sort of...salution. its not good but if you don't have anything to do just do something non active starting from 9 o'clock. I am watching anime, it doesn't matter if its interesting or not you'll get tired faster than doing something active. Or you can read something, helps too, atleast for me. Then when i feel my head is not in a good shape i am just going to bed and in 20-30 minutes i fall to sleep.

 

[Daan]

In the last two years i have been unemployed for most of the time and i am living on my own. All my friends work. Job agencies turn me down.

So, i was also so incredibly bored and disatisfied. My solution was to do two tasks, which can continue for a long while and when one finishes, i think of something new and only do the other task. But, before i came with this i was first only bored for more than a month, applying for jobs and such. Than i created a kind of romantic collage of western culture, of texts and youtube films and started reading everything. And now for every text and youtube film, i read three books. Well, that is task number one, reading books within certain themes. At present the subtheme is the enlightenment, with another sub social sciences. And i am reading the chronology of history, one giant collection of facts and stories.

As second task i first read all histories of European cities on wikipedia based on the fat names (for cities) in the road atlas of Europe and parts of Asian Turkey. But, when that was done, i put them in a giant database. I also created a history atlas on wikipedia, which took months and i made hundreds of maps, but i am now only reading the chronology and temporarily stopped with the atlas. If i don't do all of this i get too bored, it's like a substitution for school or work.

I used to be on forums a lot talking about politics, but i got too crumpy of that. I like this forum somewhat better. I have been discussing politics for years on a row.

But, for me, the best is to spend time with people. I found some girls on chatroullete and Omegle video chat, who remind me of when i worked at school. I miss the playfullness, positivity, chearfullness of all the youngsters. But, they can also be big bullies. So, now i got some girlfriends on msn who are 15 years younger than me. Which is a bit weird, but better weird than lonely.

 

[huggybear]

I'm supposed to be sleeping, I took my sleeping pills but I can't sleep. My brain is always thinking of something which doesn't help either. Today, I bought a new case for my Dad's computer so it would be the same as my Mom's. His computer has all the same parts but an older case and much heavier so I replaced it.

I come home to install the hardware in the new case it I was really angry becuase my Mom left all the windows and doors open and let all the heat in the house like always. So, I was trying to I was sweating like anything, I was afraid that I would fry the motherboard if I got to much sweat on it lol. My Dad was angueing with me for a half hour how I'm wasting my money and he didn't need a new case. With autism, you get these urges. I get urgues to do things even though they don't have to be done, like buying new computer parts and replacing older ones even though were not in need of a new computer at that time, I decided to do so anyway and I love working on computers. It's one of the few things I enjoy. It's the same with the light switches in the house, the house has the originals but I'm replacing them with the newer rocker switched because I like the look of them and I like upgrading.

Ever since I got home, I had one bad thing after another, from too much heat and humidity in the house, too my Dad complaining, too my Mom not being able to understand what I'm saying for some reason. Just a typical day for me, I have lots of days like these.

Maaybe you could buy old parts for computers on ebay or somewhere and build them yourself or get a job working with computers of you are handy with them im sure there would be a job out there for you if you have the skills