I Love You Karen

[RobertJW]

It seems my ex wife has discovered I post on here.

I have just spoken to her on the phone and still she won't see me, she has cancelled her cellphone so I can't text, she won't have anything to do with me unless its about the children.

Well I still love you Karen so ignoring me isn't going to help much.

I could be a completely different person to the one I was 18 months ago but you wont give me the chance.

I will always be here in case you change your mind, but on current evidence thats not very likely.

I wish I could move on but I can't. I have never loved anyone else and I never will

Edit:

If anyone here can explain HOW to "move on" from a long term relationship please do, I am all ears. How do you "turn off" the feelings?????

 

[Incognita]

what a cool thread

I could be a completely different person to the one I was 18 months ago but you wont give me the chance.

yea, Karen, give him a chance....

How do you "turn off" the feelings?????

there is no "how to .." manual to this...I tried

 

[JustLost]

How do you "turn off" the feelings?????

there is no "how to .." manual to this...I tried

Drinking heavily...unfortunately this just opens the door to new sets of problems.

 

[Bluey]

ye turning of feelings would be a good thing.


Karen if you read this you well know how badly this guy is hurting. and all because hes in love with you. I wish someone was in love with me. Even if you don't wont him I think you should keep talking to him and try and understand where hes coming from with the kids. Your not telling me hes not a good guy? He deserves for you to talk at lest. I mean you do have kids together.

 

[Incognita]

I wish someone was in love with me.

+1


cool avatar....

 

[Bluey]

I wish someone was in love with me.

+1


cool avatar....

Thanks I use it in another place I visit. I don't know why I never thought of using it here be for to day. The idea just hit me from no where lol

Oh, better get back on topic be for we get into trouble. Hold up, am the mod lol OK where all good that was a close one haha

 

[bookbinder]

How do you "turn off" the feelings?????

there is no "how to .." manual to this...I tried

There actually is a way to "turn off" the feelings- I've done it myself. I'll give you the step-by-step version, it's not as easy as swallowing a pill, but it works.

1. Try as much as possible to only focus on the negative things about that person.

2. Associate any negative honeysuckle that was going on your life during your relationship with that person as if it was that person's fault or similar to them just because of how that period of your life, including the time you spent with them, sucked.

3. Find someone new. It could either be someone who is legitimately special or a series of random hookups/ dates that mean nothing other than steamy/ casual interaction. Either way, this new person will break connection you have with your last partner and move that partner firmly into the past.

This works like a charm- it doesn't happen overnight, (although the new person hookup might ) but it eventually works if you work at it.

Take it from me: it's worked after girl after girl after girl- and it's still working. I oughta put a patent on the goddamn method, it's so ******* successful.

 

[Incognita]

ok ill try..thanks

 

[liposuctionlol]

well i just got off of a year relationship, its not very long but its awhile
anyways i find its best to hide the things that remind you of that person, just put it in a box somewhere. Then try getting out to town and have a good time, then when you get home you won't constantly see things that remind you of the other person

 

[RobertJW]

Thank you, everyone, for your input.

 

[Bluey]

ok ill try..thanks

just so you know I was joking I would had replied back yesterday but you know the drink was distracting and I did not think to come back here.

Thank you, everyone, for your input.

I hope its helped some dude. Do you know he she read any of it?

 

[RobertJW]

No I don't know if it's been read by her and after yesterday I don't fancy calling to find out.

I don't actually know how she came across this site, but of all the things I have written she only picked up on the bit I mentioned about being nagged.

Now I can look back and see I wasn't being nagged anywhere as much as I thought I was. Not that it makes a lot of difference now.

I make a fool of myself every time I speak to her yet I can't help myself

 

[Bluey]

Being in love kinder dose make us do stupid things I guss. The problem here to what I can make out is your EX just dose not feel the same way about you. I don't think this makes her a bad person. I mean it can feel a bit suffocating when you have someone coming on strong.

I know you have had counseling and they tell you that you need to move on. Well as you say somewhere else you already know this. But I guss when it comes down to it you can put it in any different fancy way you like but end of the day if she dose not wont you then its that basic,,,, You need to move on. And in tell you do there is no counselor in the world that well be able to help you. This has to come from you. Only when you have had enough in punishing yourself like this well I feel you well decide that enough is enough and move on.

 

[RobertJW]

Oh and to make matters worse, today would have been our 20th anniversary

 

[Incognita]

20thhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh??????????????????????
woooooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

 

[bookbinder]

Oh and to make matters worse, today would have been our 20th anniversary

Go out and get laid. Seriously.



Oh, yeah and liposuctionlol, when I wrote my little step manual, I did forget what to do with the person's stuff, reminders, etc. Thanks for reminding me. Burn it. Throw it out. Do whatchya gotta do.

 

[RobertJW]

Oh and to make matters worse, today would have been our 20th anniversary

Go out and get laid. Seriously.

If only it were that easy.

I've never been a "one night stand" type of bloke, and if I was I doubt I'd have the nerve.

Sex without emotion is something I think I would struggle to do

 

[Bluey]

Oh and to make matters worse, today would have been our 20th anniversary

Go out and get laid. Seriously.

If only it were that easy.

I've never been a "one night stand" type of bloke, and if I was I doubt I'd have the nerve.

Sex without emotion is something I think I would struggle to do

I think what he is saying is that you need to be meeting other ppl. (Woman) You have no chance with you EX. sometimes this things are only as easy as you make it. If in your own heard you think the only women for you well be your EX then that's how it well stay.

How do you give your self a chance if you do not go out and try. By stowing on the one thing you can not have you put your emotions in an imposable position. If you go out at least you are not in thinking about the one person you can not have. You may meet another women that you well feel the same for.

It would be good for you I think if you had a friend like zraskolnikov that lived near you cos he could come round and drag your ass out.

I feel for you man I really do cos I know what its like to be hurt. But you don't give your self a chance. By constantly pining over a women you well never be able to have back is not achieving anything. you need to change your mined set. I have been very blunt here only cos I think that's the right and honest thing to do. I don't think I would be doing you any favors by sugar coting my replies to you.

I have to say zraskolnikov reply to you would probably be the same reply as %99 of all other men in the world. Drop the women that dose not care for you and go fined one that well.

 

[RobertJW]

OK, I'll let you in on something.

A couple of months ago I found on the internet the NCDS - national Council for Divorced and separated. I got in contact with them, and one of them phoned me to go to one of their weekly meetings.

So, for the first time in many years I got dressed up and went to this NCDS meeting.

It was in a Working Mens Club (so the beer was cheap!) and someone met me just inside the door: so far so good.

I sat next to the organiser, a lady aged in her 50's. A few people came and said hello. I started to look around, and most of the people there were, how shall I put it.........old.

Now I am in my 40's but I dont really think I look that old. But this place........well, I was the youngest in the room by at least 10 years.

As the place filled up, more and more older people arrived. Some of them were pensioners. And the worst thing about it? Most of them were COUPLES!!!!

yes - these people had met at the NCDS, got married, and continue to go to the functions! Bizarre.

So I was in effect in a room full of 50 and 60 year old couples.

Naturally, I didnt go back. And I think that experience was just a little note telling me not to bother.

Too old for ordinary clubs (which I hate anyway) and too young for NCDS

 

[Bluey]

Ow I know the kinder place you mean. That is stupid how ppl would carry on even though they now have each other.

But thing is mate that is only the one place. I know what you mean about normal clubs. Ye you would look well out of place in one of them. I look 10 years younger then I am. I mean most would place me to be in my early 20s. But even I am starting to feel old in the normal clubs, all tho I still can get away with it. just that I don't have that much energy. most in them placers are teenyboppers just looking for one hell of a mad night normally. There is other placers tho. Do you have any friends who are in the same vote? If you started going out together you might meet someone.

How about dating sights? Try and put yourself about a bit. maybe I should try the same thing huh, Ye I know its hard mate. But I do think that you well not be able to move on tell you have meet someone else. You should be able to move on with out meeting other women. But I think meeting another women well help.

But hay, At least you tried the place, that shows that you do wont to move on.