I miss her....

[Krossknife]

I miss the way she would lay on me while I was on the couch and stare into my eyes and tell me that I could never love her more than she loves me...She Lied!
I miss the way she would sneak into the shower to copp a feel just whnen the soap was sopped into my eyes and then kiss me as the warm water would pulse down my back.....
I miss the calls at my work just to tell me she was thinking about me and wanted me to quit my job and come home and stay locked in the house forever, and the notes she would leave in my lunch....
I miss the way I was touched...and the words that would whisper like a symphony in my head and to my heart..I miss her
Everytime I drive by our old place I change and all the sudden nothing is important..I lost what was important. I miss the times when I was singin at a gig I always had my no.1 fan in the corner ready to take me home.
I miss the sex and making love I miss hearing her singing in the bathroom after making love and knowing that she was singing for me
I miss the smell of her long black curly hair in my face while we lie together in sleep and the touch of her warm thigh gently placed on top of my right leg.
I miss the talks about growing old and chasing her with a hard on and my dentures lol and then taking a long walk with our cat Poos...
I miss movie night and then sitting and downloading music together...
I miss us reading each other a book in the bed at night.
I miss my Srepaph-she was my angel-she was my day into the night-I loved her more than all the stars in the sky-and now shes gone.



Never again will I look into those beautiful brown eyes
Never again will I kiss those soft delicate lips
Never again will I feel like a god among men.
She talks to me in my mind and keeps me sane and then reality kicks in...
I miss you and I'll never forgive u... Goodbye my Love..Goodbye
My heart is broken and yet both halves still burn for u
And I hate u for that...
My soul is shattered and each piece cast your reflection in the river of my tears..
And you will never truly know how much u hurt me.
So Goodbye

 

[kazman32]

I know how you feel,,,my ex crept into my dreams bad last night, 2 years and she still haunts me, though I deal with it better nowdays, it still hurts.

 

[Searching_4_My_Soul-Mate]

**** haunting ex's! It's bad enough that they hurt us - but it is even worse that even after they are gone - they continue to hurt us! Although mine isn't an ex yet - he may as well be. I don't know what is harder - living with them or without them. It is now 9 at night - and I have yet to see Eric. I suspect he is at the bar. I've been calling him but he is not answering his phone. I am sitting here - drinking a beer alone... listening to music... trying hard not to cry... I wish somebody could come over and hang out with me...

 

[Searching_4_My_Soul-Mate]

By the way KrossKnife - your words are so beautiful... I wish I could write like....

 

[Krossknife]

Thank you for the kind words:shy:
I wish the same thing that someone could come over that understands me and I could talk and have a good time with, but that will not be for a long while. And when the wound heals I still have to learn to trust and repect myself more Ty again all last night when I wrote this it was all I could do from seeing her, It is so hard when the women u love wants you , but she has no problem hurting u.

 

[Searching_4_My_Soul-Mate]

Wow.. Sounds just like Eric.. He freaking packed my lunch today and ironed my shirt.. I left my lunch at home and he brought it to me at work.. and then turns around and tells me what a peice of honeysuckle I am and tells me that he doesn't love me.. and then says he loves me.. and then says he doesn't.. It's like - pick one and go for it! Well - I am too afraid to ask him to lay it on the line.. I'm afraid of what he might tell me..

 

[In The Matrix]

Wow.. Sounds just like Eric.. He freaking packed my lunch today and ironed my shirt.. I left my lunch at home and he brought it to me at work.. and then turns around and tells me what a peice of honeysuckle I am and tells me that he doesn't love me.. and then says he loves me.. and then says he doesn't.. It's like - pick one and go for it! Well - I am too afraid to ask him to lay it on the line.. I'm afraid of what he might tell me..

Which is better then? Living in a state of unbalance, or living at peace but all alone? One brings you so high up, then drops you just as low, the other leaves you in a state of mundaneness.

Ask him to lay it on the line, because not having honesty in a relationship is... well you might as well be alone so you can be free to meet new people without obligation, responsibility or guilt.

 

[Searching_4_My_Soul-Mate]

I just want to be happy..... I don't expect miracle - but just some self respect... He will be sorry...

 

[Krossknife]

I say nay!! First of all no man should say those things to the women he loves, because it does not only hurt you it hurts him as well. And if he persists to treat u this way, do the hard thing... I did and its only been 2-3 months and it still kills me. But there is a certain satifaction in my dignity/far be it it ROYALLY sucks to be alone. At least I did what i tht was right. It sounds like Eric is pushing u away on purpose some kind of set up if u will.Not implying anything but somethin is really fishy here I dont understand why he can be that way u sound like a great women who takes care of her man. I am gonna steal ur old post quote again because I like sayin it lol. This world is F-Up.

 

[mimizu]

Omg, the way you wrote it is too painful to read. >_<

I dunno how to help you... need to control your thoughts etc.. but you probably know that already.

You are very creative at expressing yourself... try to focus on that maybe. =) Write a story?

 

[lonely2beeme]

i know the feelings ,now all i have are broken promises and shattered dreams
things he said that made me love him (he is not a native english speaker)yet it was all lies ,he wont even answer me when i talk to him

"You are making the best of me come out, im
getting more open and everything it's undescribable....
Before i met you i was trapped in myselfe. I met you
and so much changed.You made me alot more open
to people and i managed to open myselfe for the
better. This is something im so greatful
for. I never would have managed to do it by
myselfe.I Just want you to know you are the most
wonderful girl i ever had the pleasure to meet
and im so happy that i met you."
"the few that reach
me as deep as you do are very very rare.
I Don't let many into my life and
open myselfe too them either. I Said it before
with other things but things are so much easier to
talk about and even me feel so great when we talk
about it."
"I never did believe much in GOD But after i
met you i did start to belive in that Angels truely exist.
So there will always be a so special spot for
you in my heart.I never managed to become so
open as i am with you, maybe you cant see it and just see
me as average guy but for me i changed so much in the
last months. changed for the better and i have it all to thank
you for.I just want you to realize what a wonderful person you are.
i always care and love you no matter what
just so u know that."
"I Dont pass up any chance ur worth all
of my time ever i be here whenever u need me aswell no
matter how far away i am from you i always love you no
matter what, you will always have the special spot in my
heart forever."
"I hope i found the right girl when i found you.
If i didn't i found the most amazing friend.
I do love you and care for you so much so just
always remember im here for you."
"I Love you so much and would never leave you
for anyone else,never ever.
The day i leave you is the
day they put my dead body into a coffin and put it down into
the earth.I Love you so much and hope you never forget
that.I'd honestly give my life for you.I Love you so very
much"



Love that i'm holding in my heart deep down inside
Is as deep as the earth and as wide as space
My shining light is you my star
My burning passion is you my love
My happy moments are you my clown
My fantasy is you my mind

You took a rifle and shot straight out.
All over the sea
All over the country.
All over to me.
Thousand miles and a thousand smiles
Million of Hugs and a million of kisses
You hit me in the heart i didn't know if i was alright.
But it was just love on first sight.


was all the words ,all the kisses all the plans for our future lies???? because he doesnt seem to remmeber anything anymore
he wont tell me why he loved me so much one day and then built a wall between us the next

 

[Searching_4_My_Soul-Mate]

**** you all and your beautiful words! Well - I will show you! Here is some of my poetry.. Try not to get too emotional when reading it.. It's a real tear jerker..

I love you
I love you
I love you so well.
If I had a peanut
I'd give you the shell..

There! What do you think of that? (-:

 

[lonely2beeme]

i hate being alone, i hate the ache and the pain......how can i say what i feel????

you made me happy,we laughed so much,.......
your distant today,your so out of touch.

i dont know why you are running away all over again,......
i am hurting inside,my love for you feels like a sin.

i cannot keep living these same mistakes,......
i love you but i dont have the strength it takes.

between my children and you i need things to work,.....
im overexhausted and scared , am i being a jerk?

sleepless nights, and nightmares from the past,.......
afraid of believing that your love could ever last.

empty promises ,
broken dreams ,
hidden scars,
and visable tears,.....
if you leave me ,memories of you will haunt me for years.


without your love i will never be the same,........
i will never trust anyone ,i only want the love you proclaimed.

i am aching inside now ,think i will die from the pain,......
take your words back, say it all over again.

we could be happy ,you choose to fight instead,.......
im so confused inside ,so many things running thru my head.

feeling scared,
utterly alone,
acting tough,
and crying inside,..........
these tears they wont stop,my feelings i cant hide.

many great memories ,a few bad mistakes,.........
but nothing we cant fix to avoid more heartbreaks.

my whole world is crashing, i wish i were dead,......
i want to open these veins and be properly bled.

i want to cry ,
i want to scream,.........
i want to die,
i want to dream.
that all is right,and all is great,........
to believe in your love and believe this my fate.

nothing about love is ever going to be easy,.......
sometimes it makes us happy ,sometimes sick and queasy.

its not all your fault,its not what you did,.......
you got scared of the pressure you still act like a kid

i have too much going on inside of my head,.......
want to crawl under the covers ,disappear in my bed.

i need to save our love but i am running out of time,.......
but being without you,is like commiting a crime.

seperating from you,would be the end dont you see,.........
it takes two for a relationship not only just me.

so walking away and taking a break ,........
would be the biggest mistakes we could ever possiably make.

i want to hold on ,your love is all that i know,.......
we will regret it later oneday if we let it all go.

 

[emotionless]

Let the memories make you stronger. Don't let your memories and emotions overwhelm you.

 

[kazman32]

I wish somebody could come over and hang out with me...



I know how you feel, If I could I would hang out w/ you.

 

[Krossknife]

There is beauty in pain, and in these accounts that we remember sometimes even tho I wish not to dig in to deep of myself I still can appriciate the beauty that I still can see. If it was not for that even as painful as it is I would not be who i am. And if I lost myself even more than the pieces that have already been stripped away, than I would no longer be a man, but just a body with bills!

 

[JohnHenryEden]

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Hope this song helps. Remember this: theirs always an alternate route than suicide. When you have suicidal thoughts think of what your daughters would think and do after they foumd out their daddys gone forever. Also, i know its hard but erase all thoughts and memories about your ex. Pretend she never exsisted. And don't be afraid to make new lady friends .