I need some help with my personality.

[SophiaGrace]

so basically if you respect women and treat them with kindness, and dont expect them to bang you after you've done so, then you're not creepy. o___o


I think it's more than that but that's what I'm getting from what cheaptrickfan and coricopat have said. Does that even make any sense?

 

[cheaptrickfan]

so basically if you respect women and treat them with kindness, and dont expect them to bang you after you've done so, then you're not creepy. o___o


I think it's more than that but that's what I'm getting from what cheaptrickfan and coricopat have said. Does that even make any sense?

Speaking for myself, not quite. The behavior I referenced above would make a man a "Creep." Don't get me wrong, it is an excellent thing if a man respects women and doesn't treat them as potential lays.

"Creepy" to me is more along the lines of odd or menacing body language more than overt actions. Standing too close, invading my personal space, too-intense eye contact, these are "creepy" to me.

For example, one guy just had to touch my arm whenever he talked, and it wasn't an intimate lean-in toward me, gently touching my arm (which would probably still make me uncomfortable because I have personal space issues), but an aggressive invasion of my space where he'd actually grip my arm.

He made my skin crawl.

 

[coricopat]

Yeah, we're getting muddled now.

so basically if you respect women and treat them with kindness, and don't expect them to bang you after you've done so, then you're not creepy. o___o

I think it's more than that but that's what I'm getting from what cheaptrickfan and coricopat have said. Does that even make any sense?

It makes sense, but I think you're talking about how not to be a creep. Creepy is different, a bit more chiaroscuro.

I can point out creepy when I see it, but it's awfully hard to define. I could go back and list experiences I've had with some 'creepies' but I'm worried that doing so would totally derail this thread.

The question is, what/if anything, Socrates here is doing to be creepy. Socrates, can you elaborate more on an incident where you were called creepy?

 

[Mr. Sir]

Yeah, we're getting muddled now.

so basically if you respect women and treat them with kindness, and don't expect them to bang you after you've done so, then you're not creepy. o___o

I think it's more than that but that's what I'm getting from what cheaptrickfan and coricopat have said. Does that even make any sense?

It makes sense, but I think you're talking about how not to be a creep. Creepy is different, a bit more chiaroscuro.

I can point out creepy when I see it, but it's awfully hard to define. I could go back and list experiences I've had with some 'creepies' but I'm worried that doing so would totally derail this thread.

The question is, what/if anything, Socrates here is doing to be creepy. Socrates, can you elaborate more on an incident where you were called creepy?

There are a couple of long stories and incidents when I have to admit I was creepy, but over all, sometimes I didnt deserve. For example, several girls accused me when I was younger of staring when I wasnt. One even posted on my facebook wall about it.

I'll post details about it when I have more time.

But overall I feel like even when I am going about my normal daily business, girls give me weird, pissy looks. People who have never even spoken to me.

 

[coricopat]

Girls give me weird pissy looks all the time too. No clue why.

How old are you btw?

 

[Mr. Sir]

Girls give me weird pissy looks all the time too. No clue why.

How old are you btw?

20.

and this is what I look like.

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/GomerPyle1/pictures

 

[Perfectly_Screwed]

Maybe, you should try controlling your confidence. Like this, being confident, but don't be confident at the point where you start doing things WAY over your limitation. I think that's what you would call being cocky, btw. And don't be so harsh on yourself, know that you have done mistakes and "not so awesome" things in the past, but don't let that overshadow your confidence. Your still human!

 

[matabankosi]

... Sure. You can get somebody who LIKES rude ********, if that's the sort of girl you really want. But then you cannot complain if she's a little screwed up emotionally... because a mentally healthy girl won't like that.

So you have to make a choice- do you want the sort of girl who ultimately wants the jerk, or do you want the girl who kicks jerks to the curb?

Ya know, that's an interesting point you bring up. That's kind of skewed thinking that alot of men who have trouble with the ladies have. Most girls, I think, dig a guy who has confidence, is athletic, and has a sense of fun, and is funny. But I dunno, I've seen some pretty dickish guys get girls.

I lack confidence because of negative experiences with my parents and peers. I talked to a friend and laid out my insecurities, and I guess I have to find ways to get rid of those insecurities.

Sometimes I think I'm a little bumbling too, sometimes I think I'm getting weird looks from people but that could all be in my head.

Socrates,

You have taken the name of my favorite philosopher.

How did you get rid of those insecurities? I know i had many from my past. I managed to understand them and get rid of them.

Sometimes we get so caught up in our own insecurities, we lose sight of the bigger picture. The fact that you only have one life and one chance.

I know when i was to scared to go up to a girl, i would always just say i have only got one chance. Many times you will get the bullet, but you will learn from each one. Some guys arent just born good. You just have to go out and try.

As for complexes i was a man with many. Read my book you can download it for free. maybe it will help you understand the root of your reality and understanding.

I have found that when you find peace with yourself and you truly love yourself, people can sense it and people want to be with you.

I dont know if you looking for a lay or a relationship?

here is a great quote:
“Surely if one fails to have a successful relationship with oneself it would be foolish to believe you could succeed with another.”

“I do nothing but go about persuading you all, old and young alike, not to take thought for your persons or your properties, but chiefly to care about the greatest improvement of the soul. I tell you that virtue is not given by money, but that from virtue comes money and every other good of man, public as well as private. This is my teaching, and if this is the doctrine which corrupts the youth, I am a mischievous person.” Socrates​

:club:

---

Erm bro,

You look good, you shouldn't have a problem with the ladies!!

I had a small little friend okay, this guy slept with the most beautiful girls in my city and they loved him, for his energy and his mouth. People think it is all about looks but in truth it is way more than that.

I have a friend he is the best looking guy i know but even though chicks run to him, it isnt long before they run away from him.

 

[Phaedron]

I am putting on this kind of personality where I try so hard not to offend anybody.

So here's the deal. I looked up why girls love bad boys. It's because of their confidence and them doing and saying what they feel like and not caring what anyone thinks.

So be confident and sure of yourself, do what you like, say you like, regardless of what anyone thinks. It's okay to express yourself with some degree of caution so as not to offend, just don't go overboard.

Show her your inner strength. That you won't be baited or riled into arguments, or losing your cool. Show her you have complete control over your emotions.

You CAN be badass and strong without actually doing things that make you into the typical bad boy.

What is the basis of attraction? I have no f-ing idea man... It differs from person to person. Just be yourself, cause if you try to be someone you're not to impress the ladies you either have to live with that lie and become that lie or eventually show her you were a fake.

 

[matabankosi]

I am putting on this kind of personality where I try so hard not to offend anybody.

So here's the deal. I looked up why girls love bad boys. It's because of their confidence and them doing and saying what they feel like and not caring what anyone thinks.

So be confident and sure of yourself, do what you like, say you like, regardless of what anyone thinks. It's okay to express yourself with some degree of caution so as not to offend, just don't go overboard.

Show her your inner strength. That you won't be baited or riled into arguments, or losing your cool. Show her you have complete control over your emotions.

You CAN be badass and strong without actually doing things that make you into the typical bad boy.

What is the basis of attraction? I have no f-ing idea man... It differs from person to person. Just be yourself, cause if you try to be someone you're not to impress the ladies you either have to live with that lie and become that lie or eventually show her you were a fake.

well said

 

[SilentThinker]

OK. So at the moment, I am putting on this kind of personality where I try so hard not to offend anybody. I never never never act cocky. But I dont think I appear very confident either. I'm also kind of negative. Nobody wants to date or hang out with a negative person.

But here's what happens if I act confident. I do have my manly stuff; I lift weights, I take martial arts, I'm a Guardian Angel, and I have a dangerous assembly job, I could act confident, but I am afraid of people calling me out and saying "Shut up, you loser, you have nothing to be confident about." It alls go back to me living in my head and knowing my insecurities that other people don't know. Like the biggest problem I have is I CANT IMAGINE A GIRL FINDING ME ATTRACTIVE.

So here's the deal. I looked up why girls love bad boys. It's because of their confidence and them doing and saying what they feel like and not caring what anyone thinks. Now, if I was to do that, I've been told I'm weird (for not caring what people think), rude, disrepectful (i.e. creepy), if I'm animated and confident I'm called intense (i.e. creepy), and also people say honeysuckle like "you're gonna get your ass kicked in the real world for saying what you feel like", which is them calling me a weakling.

If anyone gets the gist of what I'm saying, could I have some constructive feedback, thanks.

I kind of understand that.When I open my mouth,I immediately doubt what I say.My mind would be full of,"What if they do not listen to me?"But in the end,I always end up regretting of not saying anything.

My advice is this.Build up the confidence you have.Dun be afraid of the what if this and that.Of course,you still have to be mindful to words because some people are more sensitive than others.

Hope this helps.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I've listen to lectures call Ultimate Confidence by Dr. Mathew. it's been helping me alot.
There's probably 15 different lectures. It's probably 3-4 hours worth of material.
He gose into great details in many subjects such as guilt, shame, awarness, truth, faith, being positive, being responsible my own
thoughts, feelings....etc. becuase he bascailly wants you to get the core issues.

It's helping me a great deal beucase i can simply just listen to it while I'm bussied at work or at play.
I don't have sit down and read. The material gets absorb into my mind and I retain more of the material.
It's helping me becuase a majority part of my life I was constantly being put down, feeling guilty and shame....this coloured my personalities.
In so many ways it's alot of positive re-inforcment.

I also remember the first time I listen to it...it gave me a headache and I felt sick..becuase what he was saying
was almost in the opposite of how i was living or raised. ( while I do understand and worked the 12 steps program.
This too had been a positve thing in my life. Some of the material overlaps The 12 steps program is about changing
your life...building charector and being able to live in your own skin.) Anyway..it gave me a head ache because my mind
was resisting changes or knew ideas. But i remained open..becuase from my past experince as I had in ealry recovery...
I felt totally sick to my stomuch and headaches all the time becuase I was trying to change my life and the way i
was thinking. I bascailly resisted thaT.


Key pionts...
You have a chioce
Love yourself and foremost.
Self acceptence
Don't compair yourself to anyone. ( no big I or little U/ or No big U and little I)
Be a candle to thy own feet...( self supporting )
Face your fears
Be Positive
Be grateful
Screw guilt
Staying willing to learn and grow
Stop blaming
Stop playing the victim
Let go
Forgive
Live life oneday at a time.
Beliving in yourself.
Belive in something greater than you.
Be in the moment.
Be willing to admit when you make mistakes.

If you can't give 100%...give 5% consitantly. A little bit at a time. Rome wasn't built overnite...brick by brick it was built.
It'll make your hopes and dreams obtainable and managable.

The list gose on and on and on...I must practice and apply these things in my life.

If you simply just apply the principle of no big U and little I...with women. You'll simply know...no matter hawt or smexy she is...she's simply just
another human being just like you. She has fears, living challenges, good qualities, flaws, hopes and dreams just like you. Have confidance in knowing this.

Here's the deal with what you read...you simply thought who ever wrote that is bigger or smarter than you..This leads into competing and comparing....
which leads into defeating or lowering your self confidance and self esteem.
You don't have to belive in everything you read..ya know. YOU HAVE A CHIOCE.

Dr. Mathew stated straight up...he dosn't want you to belive in his material. He wants you to come to your own conclusion.
The literatures in 12 steps programs also pionts this out at the begining or in the prefix. They don't have all the answers and you don't have to belive in it.
It's becuase it's part of building a positive charector and your self confidance. Teaching you how to be self supporting.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I don't really have much to say on this situation. What I can say is: There's a difference between being a "bad boy" and doing what you do. And the reason I don't have much to say is, I don't know exactly what it is you do. I honestly don't know if you're for real about it, or if you're just some random smart-ass spamming an internet forum... But what you say, it tickles people in the wrong way. "Bad boys" don't necessarily offend people all the time, or most of the time like you seem to do.

Being true to yourself and true to others goes a long way. Like Steel said, don't believe in everything you read. Don't fall into what other people do. You have to do you. Don't copy what you see because you figure it works for them and it should work for you.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Hmmm.... you just cannot let your confidence wavier. Confidence comes in many forms. If the people you are around think you are weird you just need to find people who think you are cool.

From what I understand females just like someone who excels at what he does. I think I was told to watch the pick up artist... or some show like that. As long as you excel you will attract females... or so I am told.

 

[Sway]

It took me while to get rid of my creepy side for the longest time, as most girls/other people say. They sometimes tell me that I am Socially Awkward, weird, and people just spread bad rumors about me, all because they can't understand, well that's just how it is... people fear what they can't understand, so if you can't express your emotions well some people just walk away from you, it's rude and mean but it's just how it is. Pretty much once you know how to express yourself well you'll start feeling more confidence and be more at ease with yourself.

When i was trying to understand why some people felt that i was creepy, it just turns out that my body language wasn't matching to what i'm trying to express... like once i fixed my posture, and practiced my conversation skills with my parents, and close friends I found that people started approaching me and becoming my friends... and i slowly got more comfortable.... sometimes I still mess it up and make a bad first impression, but then you got to tell yourself, it's alright, i screwed up.. go laugh it off, that's just one person in 6 billion ppl man, whatever. Once you learn to stop beating yourself up, and learn to express yourself then everything will tend to fall into place. =/

 

[muchlikesuffocating]

i hate dickish guys.

i only date down-to-earth guys.


actually, maybe i have a slight personality problem
because i date a lot of guys with really low self esteems.

 

[Mr. Sir]

Here I go, Xsocrates, sometimes you come off as rude and disrespectful. No, I do NOT mean creepy. But sometimes you tend to disregard others feelings in posts and that's not a good character trait. Try being more mindful of how others feel. *end brutal honesty*

And all the wiggers who girls love to fresia are 10x as rude as me.

And most people in general have been rude as fresia to me as well.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Here I go, Xsocrates, sometimes you come off as rude and disrespectful. No, I do NOT mean creepy. But sometimes you tend to disregard others feelings in posts and that's not a good character trait. Try being more mindful of how others feel. *end brutal honesty*

And all the wiggers who girls love to fresia are 10x as rude as me.

And most people in general have been rude as fresia to me as well.

I dont even know what a wigger is and I"m a girl.

 

[Badjedidude]

And all the wiggers who girls love to fresia are 10x as rude as me.

And most people in general have been rude as fresia to me as well.

Maybe they're rude to you because of your attitude. If you go everywhere with a negative, "fresia you" attitude, then YEAH...people are gonna react unkindly to that.

I dont even know what a wigger is and I"m a girl.

wigger = white nigger. It's an offensive term, btw. (White guys who try to emulate the "gangsta" life)

 

[SophiaGrace]

I dont even know what a wigger is and I"m a girl.

wigger = white nigger. It's an offensive term, btw. (White guys who try to emulate the "gangsta" life)

Oh I thought it was a guy who wore a wig