I think about you guys so often :)

[eris]

I know this isn't about me at all, but it would be nice to think someone actually cares what I have to say.

I really think that at least 50% of the time ppl just skim past me and read the next post. Why wouldn't they ? Im boring and often very melodramatic.


Sometimes I think I kind of freak people out sometimes with my honesty about myself.



If I really do freak any of you out just tell me to shut up and I will

 

[Rammy]

Hey eris i've read a few of your posts and i'll listen to whatever you say I can handle a little melodrama first of all your name got my attention then that last post actually made me think of my sister for some reason so I felt an immediate connection, plenty of folks here will lend an ear too. I'm something of a recurring visitor, I kinda come and go depending on my workload but I often think of this place and even if I don't always comment I often read posts I rarely skim!
Just keep post when you want someone will appreciate it.

 

[Badjedidude]

I know this isn't about me at all, but it would be nice to think someone actually cares what I have to say.

I really think that at least 50% of the time ppl just skim past me and read the next post. Why wouldn't they ? Im boring and often very melodramatic.

Hmmm? Did someone say something? Guess not.

Just kiddin'.

Sometimes I think I kind of freak people out sometimes with my honesty about myself

Did you ever consider that perhaps your "honesty" about yourself isn't actually very objective and unbiased? It seems to me that sometimes you might be harder on yourself than you need to be. *shrug*

 

[QuietGuy]

Wow that's great news Quiet Guy! It's great to hear your on top of the world right now, I'm really excited for you. If you let this girl see what you show to us here and she'll be thrilled to be with you Just remember to keep us posted!

I promise I'll keep you updated if there are any significant developments

and just knowing that someone somewhere out there is thinking about me and hoping I'm alright is what makes me able to get through those really tough days

One of the most important and precious things in life is to know that you matter to other people; that there are people who care about you, and are willing to genuinely listen to what you have to say.

And that's what makes this forum so special. We care about each other, and we take the time to listen. We are willing to spend our free time supporting our fellow members. And when we log off, we continue to think about each other during the day, hoping that everyone's doing OK. That's a rare and wonderful thing.

I really think that at least 50% of the time ppl just skim past me and read the next post. Why wouldn't they ?

Why would they? Everyone's contribution is valuable. The only way we can grow and develop into more well-rounded people is if we listen to what everybody has to say. It's a mutual thing. Listening to your opinions helps me grow and develop, and (hopefully! ) my opinions will help others in some way.


I've just discovered this old post by DreamAwake - he expresses what I'm trying to say better than I can:

This goes out to anyone and everyone that is feeling lonely,afraid. To anyone feeling anything.'

Tonight when I go to bed, As I lay there I shall be thinking of all the different experiences out there. The different people dealing with there different problems in their different ways. The people crying before sleep, The People who cry to be able to sleep. I share it with you, I feel it with you. A lonely life couldnt be more right, Even at our most intimate were still alone, Words playing a mere shadow of what is going on in our own minds/reality. Express what you will, but no one shall know it the way you do. But we shall try.

To anyone who needs a real friend, a true lover, an honest soul. I offer tonight only two things.'
My thoughts.
And to be your mirror from here on out. Show me what you are and want. I'll be me.

Lets share a connection, lets start by sharing thoughts.

Night Night.

One last thing I'd like to share with you guys. Last night, I spent some time reading the love letters that my ex wrote me many years ago. It took me a very long time to get over her, but I eventually managed it. During that time, I couldn't bear to re-read her letters. It made me so sad to think of all that love I'd lost. Last night was the first time I'd actually re-read them properly. And this time, they made me feel so wonderful. They reminded me that a girl really did love me. They reaffirmed the fact that I am capable of being loved. If it happened once, it can happen again.

...

Hmm. On our forum, there are often threads which unintentionally make some of us a little sad. A recent thread about opinions on sexual techniques made me a little sad. I knew I had absolutely nothing to contribute to the thread because I've never had sex, even though I'm 27.

So when I mention something like my ex's love letters, I know it's going to make some of you a little sad, because you've never received any such letters, and I'm so sorry for you I think I was just very very very lucky to have met my ex in the first place. It was one tiny, seemingly insignificant decision I made which led me to finding her (I might go into more details one day, if anyone's interested). Random chance plays such a massive role in the unfoldment of our lives, and it's so unfair. The people who genuinely deserve a caring loving companion are often the people who have never had such a companion. All we can do is make the absolute best of our current circumstances, be the best person that we can possibly be, and hope that one day our dreams will come true.

Sorry, I'm rambling now. Time to stop

 

[Asterli]

I know this isn't about me at all, but it would be nice to think someone actually cares what I have to say.

I really think that at least 50% of the time ppl just skim past me and read the next post. Why wouldn't they ? Im boring and often very melodramatic.


Sometimes I think I kind of freak people out sometimes with my honesty about myself.



If I really do freak any of you out just tell me to shut up and I will

I am here for you eris. I've read what you have been through and I'm very willing to help and to listen in the best way that I can.

And Quietguy, I feel we are much the same and thank you (again) with sharing this with us.

 

[eris]

Thanks you guys you made me feel better

I don't think people skim over me because they dislike me. I think people are sometimes like "there she goes again being dramatic..."

Did you ever consider that perhaps your "honesty" about yourself isn't actually very objective and unbiased? It seems to me that sometimes you might be harder on yourself than you need to be. *shrug*

I agree, I am hard on myself and judge myself critically.

This is what I mean by me thinking people are freaked out by my honesty...
I mean like how I talk about being in the psych ward or being homeless or seeing prostitutes or having BPD...actually there a few things that I will NEVER talk about so maybe there is a balance there.


I think some poeple just think TMI

 

[eris]

first of all your name got my attention

Wow. Someone knows what my username means

 

[Rammy]

Eris, don't worry about how much information you want to give us there will always be some people who will avoid you for those reasons but try not to let that phase you because there will always be others who will spare some time and lend an ear. This forum is full of those people so come here for support and say what you have to, don't worry about those who don't care, just remember some of us will always listen
oh and yes I do know what your name means, I think it's pretty cool.

 

[eris]

youre so nice

EDIT: Do you know what my avatar means ? It's ok if you don't. Im sure only .00000000000001% of people do

 

[Rammy]

Thanks, hmm your avatar it looks interesting but I'm afraid I don't know. What is it?
I really like that picture in your sig mind.

 

[eris]

It is the Sacred Chao. It represents the balance of chaos and nothingness. It looks like a yin/yang but its not that of the Taoists, it is only used in such context to represent balance. It is the Hodge-Podge of the Erisians. And, instead of a Podge spot on the Hodge side, it has a pentagon which symbolizes Nothingness, and instead of a Hodge spot on the Podge side, it depicts the Golden Apple of Discordia to symbolize Chaos.

The Sacred Chao symbolizes absolutely everything anyone need ever know about absolutely anything, and more. It even symbolizes everything not worth knowing, depicted by the empty space surrounding the Hodge-Podge.

I honestly believe that everything in existance is pure chaos. Order and disorder are Illusions within chaos. The opposite of chaos is nothingness. Existance itself is a giant clusterfuck.

Nothing is true, yet everything is permissable.

This has absolutly nothing to do with religion.

If everything is permissable every religion is true and false at the same time. For a Hindu, Krishna is god. For an Athiest, there is no god. Christians believe Jesus is god. All of these people are right.

In fact, absolutly everything in existance is true and false at the same time. If you believe something is true, it is. To another person that same thing is false; they are also right.

If this interests you this website will explain everything (and nothing)

*waves hands dramatically*

[/soapbox]

And the picture in my signature is just some random nebula that I thought was pretty






Sorry to hijack the thread. I'm not going to post in it anymore. Please I hope you all carry on with your discussion.

 

[QuietGuy]

Sorry to hijack the thread.

Don't worry eris! And thanks for explaining your avatar to us!

And the picture in my signature is just some random nebula that I thought was pretty

I expect you recognised the glowing blob in the middle as the Firefox icon...?



If I may, I'd like to share with you guys a rather nice carpe diem experience I had today. On the train home from work, I looked out of the window, and was very excited to see a beautiful bright rainbow-coloured icebow in the sky, rather like this:

Here's a transcript of my thoughts:


1. This is so rare, and so beautiful! I wish I had a friend sitting next to me, so I could share it with them.

2. This train is full of people. There's even someone sitting right next to me. Wouldn't it be nice to share it with them?

3. Why bother? It would take courage to start talking to them. I don't feel courageous. They probably wouldn't be interested in a silly icebow. They might think it weird if some stranger started talking to them. Strangers don't start conversations on trains. It's not worth the risk. And anyway, the icebow will probably fade in a few minutes...

4. What's the worst that could happen? Really? Honestly? They might say: "I'm not interested." "Don't talk to me." "You're weird." Hey, that really isn't so bad! I could handle that! And look, the icebow is starting to fade... it'll be gone in a few moments. Quick! Do it now! NOW!!

5. CARPE DIEM!! "Excuse me, have you seen that beautiful icebow...?"

(And yes, she was very interested in the icebow, and we had a conversation about rainbows, clouds and stars.)

Thank you guys, once again. I don't know how you're doing it, but you're giving me the confidence and courage to seize the day.

Any of you guys got similar experiences you'd like to share? I hope so. It doesn't matter if it's only a tiny little positive experience. They all count. They all help us to gradually overcome our fears.

 

[eris]

I expect you recognised the glowing blob in the middle as the Firefox icon...?

No I didn't know that !!! I know nothing about firefox and I really don't want to represent it. I think I'm going to look for a new sig

And I think serendipitous stuff like that icebow is awesome (actually awesome, like "full of awe", not the surfer lingo ) . It makes life worth living.