I think I have SA. What do I do?

[PlayingSolo]

Hello everyone. I believe this is my second time posting on these forums. First of all, I'd like to say thank you to DesertWolf for posting the video on social anxiety in another thread, you may have changed my life. I always thought that it was just who I was, but after watching that video I'm fairly certain that I have social anxiety disorder. I'll try to make this short. I'm a 21 year old male and the video almost perfectly described my life. I was selectively mute as a child, I have a very small circle of friends, and I get very nervous in certain situations. I won't ever raise my hand to ask a question in class (I've tried a few times, I end up just sweating and becoming very shaky, my hands won't stop trembling until long after I stop thinking about it). I find it VERY hard to talk to women that I find attractive. I rarely answer my phone because I absolutely hate talking on it.

One thing that I never really noticed until watching that video was how concerned I am with what other people think about me. I watched the video a few days ago and I've already caught myself plenty of times worrying about what others think of me. I'm really still trying to understand it all and some things I'm really not sure on.

Anyways, the reason I'm posting here is this: who should I go and talk to (professionally) about this? I'm very new to the medical world and haven't a clue where to start. I've never broken any bones, never even had a bloody nose. I have seen my doctor over at the local hospital twice fairly recently, once for insomnia (which I think may be related to the SA) and another time for something unrelated. Would it be a good idea to go talk to her? Or should I see some kind of psychiatrist instead? Or maybe someone else?

On another note, ever since I started thinking about this a few days ago, one of the first things that popped into my mind was worrying that if I saw a doctor about it, either they wouldn't take it seriously, or I wouldn't be able to describe it well enough to them that they would understand it correctly. Either way, I'm just a little worried that they wouldn't understand I guess. I'm no professional by any means, but from the little bit of research that I've done, I'm fairly certain I have some degree of social anxiety. Anyway, I'd love to hear what anyone thinks. Thanks for taking the time to read my post.


P.S., I took the "Liebowitz Social Anxiety Scale" test that someone had posted. I understand many people said that it wasn't all that accurate of a measurement, so I take it with a grain of salt, but I scored an 86 and it said I "Appear to have severe social phobia".

 

[Barbaloot]

I'm not sure where you live, but generally the best place to start for finding help is with your regular doctor. They can refer you to a psychiatrist, otherwise you can look for one in your local yellow pages. Some will only take referrals though. So, just go talk to your doctor about it. It will get better.

 

[Callie]

Who you want to see really depends on what kind of treatment you want. If you don't really want any kind of therapy, just find a psychiatrist, they'll give you a quick evaluation and prescribe you some kind of drug. Or you could choose to see a psychologist, which cannot prescribe drugs and will just give you therapy.

While you may fit the majority of the symptoms of Social Anxiety, it's never really a good idea to self diagnose, because when dealing with illnesses, there are a million of them out there that are very similar to each other. So my advice would be to let the doctor diagnose you. Whether it's your primary care doctor, a psychiatrist or psychologist, let them talk to you and give you an accurate diagnosis.

While you wait for all of this to happen, just keep trying. Take small steps, go out and say hi to a neighbor or the cashier at the store. Then, when you're comfortable with that, take a step higher and ask how they are, just anything to put yourself into social situations. It doesn't matter how small they are, as long as you keep trying. I can promise you it does get better and easier the more you try.
As far as caring what other people think, that's not an easy one to break, but...those people, for the most part, don't know you. They don't know what you do, who you are, so they can't judge you for anything but superficial crap.

Good luck and I hope you can find the help you're looking for.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

iMO...if you think your ill...you'll be ill.
After watching that vedio...your mind went looking for evidence to identify with it.

May i suggest you also serch your mind for evidence and experinces you
had in your life when you were socialable, spoke you mind openly.
Such as you starting this thread and asking questions openly.

I actually did this little exercise...becuase I got dianose with all kind of stupid honeysuckle.
I turn into a fucken prosac baby and got addicted to that honeysuckle.....

Anywho...I could easy write a list of messed up expreinces in my life.
I played that honeysuckle in my head over and over again too. It made me felt like
honeysuckle and depressed ass fresia....cuase I got dianose with depression..chornic depression.

So it was suggested that I recall all the good time, happy moments in my life.
That list was hard as fresia to make becuase I simply got into a habit of retrieving
negative honeysuckle. So i serch my mind for evidence of positive, happy moments in my
life...What do you know....The list grew and grew.
I wasnt as depress as I might had thought. My life didnt suck as much as I thought it did.
I had a hella awakening and enlightenment....

Everyone have learning cruve, knee knocking experince in everything.
Getting on stage for the first serveral times.
Driving a freaken semi for the first time.
Having sex for the first several times
Your first day or week....

It just exposure or habits..dude.
Just make a commitment to be around people more often...speak up more often.
YOur mind and body will go through a learning curve and adjust overtime..as anything else you do in life...
YOu fresia better as you go..dont trip out.

Thats why it suggest the you Think as if, FEEL as if, ACT as If....breaking habits
Of curse your gonna feel weird or not your old self or whatever,,,when you're breaking habits and changing.
Getting out of your old comfortzone....It aint rcoket science.
Our conscious mind is also design to operate and adjust to whatever enviornment.It dosnt matter if it's healthy or
unhealthy. So when you're trying to break old habits...it's ganna want to stay in the old or revert to the old enviorment
becuase that where it function and operate at it's best.
The more you expose yourself to a new enviorment and give it time to go through a learning curve..it'll adjust to that too.

Reconditioning/reprograming/reparenting....the freaken professional's terminology.

Do you wanna know how to get hot chicks and always get hot chicks???
Talk to hot chicks, expose yourself to hot chicks...you'll get comfortiable and adjust to that too.

If you're new here...be really careful when and how you respond to threads of dudes always
saying thier life suck ass , always cant get laid or chicks....over and over again. So that they
can identify with each other (not feel they're the only one). Always looking for evidents to support their comfortzone
and destine to live out thier lives lonely and along......"Cant do this or that...cuase it's not me." "aint changing for nothing".lol

 

[PlayingSolo]

Thank you for the replies.

After watching that vedio...your mind went looking for evidence to identify with it.

I think you may be right there. Being honest with myself, I really want to have SA. I just feel like having it would explain everything that I'm feeling, and it would give me something to point my frustration at and say "that's the cause", and that's a really good feeling. At the same time though, I honestly do feel like my symptoms match what I've read about SA. Anywho, after reading your guys' posts, I'm going to make an appointment tomorrow to see my doctor.

One other thing. As I said in my original post, I'm very noobish when it comes to the medical world. When a professional diagnoses someone with something, how does that work? Is it simply just a verbal "Ok, you have X disorder" and that's it? Or do they give you some kind of "certificate" saying "You have X disorder"? Or is it written in some kind of medical file that any doctor has access to? Or what? I ask because when I went to see my doctor one other time, I thought I may of had Restless Leg Syndrome, but when I asked her about it, she only spoke of it for a minute or two before going on to other questions, and never really clearly said whether I had it or not. I ended up leaving there a little confused and I really don't want that to happen this time around.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

The best solution is to get CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy.)

But any type of therapy will be good. Medication will also help.

 

[PlayingSolo]

The best solution is to get CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy.)

What, exactly, is that?

 

[Kat]

I'd suggest the articles on this site: http://www.succeedsocially.com

You have to be persistent and keep pushing yourself gradually in order to desensitize yourself to the fear despite setbacks and falling back into old habits. You have to hold yourself in higher regard than you have and do things that make you happy..you have to teach yourself to be gentle with yourself. Fake happiness/confidence until you have it. Look into affirmations/positive self talk and a CBT workbook. You could get some medication but I think for SA it's sort of a crutch and eventually you'd want to not use it anyway.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

The best solution is to get CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy.)

What, exactly, is that?

It's a form of therapy that focuses on examining the irrational beliefs you have, throwing them out, and being able to start over and without those irrational beliefs.

It depends on what your SA is based on, whether it will succeed. Plus, some therapists are better at it than others.

Give it a try. What do you have to lose?

 

[Lonesome Crow]

it's the 7th step of the 12 step program....

what to leave in and what to leave out.
Old unworkable ideas and beliefs.

But you gatta becareful of what new beliefs and ideas you buy into.
Kindda like you wanting to believe you have SA....
Its an idea someone threw out there...if you run with it...then it become your belief. When you're vuanerable..,cults
of personalites will suck you into thier BS. Use you as a pond to thier scheme.

Its just like religion or lack of religion. Not to believe in god is a beliefs.
Science is a beliefs....

You're a human being that have beliefs, thoughts and feelings...

You're not a christian,,,,you believe in christainity...ect..ect.
Nothing wrong with believing in christianity...there many demoninations.
Some preach brimstones and hell fire. Others teaches love, peace and well being.

It also works like this too...
If you believe your life is gonna suck...so it gose.

kinda like believing you're lonely...then you start being lonely and all that good honeysuckle.

Beliefs is CUASE
Actions/reactions are the effects.

Change your thinklng change your life.


If you believe you're well....you're start acting well and living well.

Your feelings of fears keep you in your comfortzone....We all have fears.
Just learn how to walk through them or let those feelings go when they arises.

I attended church since i was a kid and even recently....

I rather hear positive messages.
I bascailly do what Kat say....Think positive. Postive self talk...Program me or rather my brain....
Cause bacially that's what gonna happen over time. I'll start going into auto pilot to my beliefs.

Thats why i always say i get Hot chicks
words are powerful...man.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

^ Up to the last part, I agree with you completely.

There is a book out there called "The Secret." Extremely religious figures didn't want to believe that you could be the master of your own destiny, but it is very true that you can. If you believe that you can succeed, you will succeed...unless you have a bad personality or a disfigurement, and even then it might not stop you.

If Donald Trump can become a billionaire, you can beat anxiety. The key to success is believing in yourself.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I'm not allow to post tirays shots...on here. i have it ...newly titays shots

Btw,...the chick on my avitar is my daughter. She's super model. She looks just like her mother.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

You probably shouldn't post your daughter here, either. If it were my daughter, and I found out some dude online had access to my daughters modeling shots, I would probably serve his head on a platter.

But you know this. People on here have brought it up to you before. You just won't ******* listen.

Oh, and thanks for driving this off topic, once again, into something to do with you.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

you probably shoulding be telling me what to do...

Im man enough. I have my own beliefs and all that good honeysuckle.
FFS...after reading the entire thread and the understanding of it...
and you're gonna want me to run with your bullshit...jesus fucken christ. lmao

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

It's not just me. Everyone else here feels that you're weird and creepy for posting pictures of your family here.

How many times have you been banned for doing it? 50? 60?

Jesus christ, man. If you're going to continue to be a troll, and do the same ******* thing over again, don't expect me to treat you any different than the last time I saw you doing this. I think it's perverted. I judge you, because I don't think there's anything family oriented over lusting over your own daughters. It's incest.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

well...here's the deal dude.

Geez whizzz....i actaully apply my knowlege.
Knowlege is piontless if you dont use it. It'll just be like books on a shelf catching dust.

1,People on here are rather sicker than me ( this would be my beliefs and Im gonna run
with that) You dont know honeysuckle and you're a rather very very sick one. And it's not just
me that thinks this about you. They simply communicate to you in a different way
convoyring the same message.

2, Im going filter out whatever I deem bullshit...whatever the fresia pesonalities.
If you're gonna try to put me down to make yourself feel better...you simply
have low selfesteem. So be really careful when youre skating on thin ice.
Im not your victim and you can just take a nose dive off a fucken cliff.

3, Basic 101 good self esteem is."I dont eally give a rate ass what people thinks
or say about me" Im pretty knowlege about this matter. ive read plenty of good
self esteem books. They all say pretty much the samething. You're rather uneducated
to be throwing stupid bullshit like that at me.

4 fresia you and your banning bullshit ..again

 

[PlayingSolo]

I'd suggest the articles on this site: http://www.succeedsocially.com

You have to be persistent and keep pushing yourself gradually in order to desensitize yourself to the fear despite setbacks and falling back into old habits. You have to hold yourself in higher regard than you have and do things that make you happy..you have to teach yourself to be gentle with yourself. Fake happiness/confidence until you have it. Look into affirmations/positive self talk and a CBT workbook. You could get some medication but I think for SA it's sort of a crutch and eventually you'd want to not use it anyway.

Thanks, I think that's pretty good advice. I've had some issues with low self esteem in the past though, which in some cases has also lead to depression (usually only lasted a day or two). I'm not entirely sure how I would go about 'faking confidence' though, seems like a contradiction to me. I actually took a class that had a section on affirmations and self talk (I'm in college, it was a Human and Career Development course), although at the time I didn't really realize any of the things I see about myself now. It was only last summer actually. Maybe I can dig out those books...

The best solution is to get CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy.)

What, exactly, is that?

It's a form of therapy that focuses on examining the irrational beliefs you have, throwing them out, and being able to start over and without those irrational beliefs.

It depends on what your SA is based on, whether it will succeed. Plus, some therapists are better at it than others.

Give it a try. What do you have to lose?

Ah, I see. I've made an appointment to see my doctor next week. Depending on how it goes, maybe I'll bring this up with her.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I also found this book very helpful.
Especailly in social situations.

The 12 tradition of the 12 step teaches a person this. EQUALLY
No big I or little you. But most people dose read the traditions nor apply it.
Alot of A type personalities. But there's also lots of shy people too.

If you're shy...you simply wanna practice speaking up more.
Think too much, worry too much what other people things about you.
Too self consious...so you dont say anything.
If you feel less than...you'll really have anxiety around other people.

If you're A type personality...Telling people what to think or how they should ect..ect
You wanna stop doing that. Other people dont like to be feel less than.

You wanna get in the presence as equal with people so you can go with the flow.
That's when...just being yourself...will make sense.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Bottom line, you have to be open to putting yourself into uncomfortable situations. That's the only way you break out of your comfort zone, and grow.

 

[Kat]

The main thing is that not every social situation goes well, SA or not. You have to adopt an attitude that you are worth it and that you have to keep trying no matter what...every day or every few days do one little thing to challenge your SA.