I treated GF like horrible jerk and feel guilty

[ardour]

As long as it's short, to the point and sounds sincere, then I don't see why it has to be such a bad idea, although it could be seen as an excuse to re-initiate contact. If it's likely she's going to think that then probably not a good idea.

That fact he feels bad is at least something. That's what an apology is communicating, nothing more.

 

[Rainbows]

As long as it's short, to the point and sounds sincere, then I don't see why it has to be such a bad idea, although it could be seen as an excuse to re-initiate contact. If it's likely she's going to think that then probably not a good idea.

That fact he feels bad is at least something. That's what an apology is communicating, nothing more.

Obviously you haven't been in a situation then where you want to forget someone/something..
My ex tried to apologise the other day and I started yelling at everybody.
Ask ... everybody.

 

[Lowlander]

Seriously, do not return to the woman. You treated her like a jerk, and how are you even sure it would change overnight when you apologize, again? Just leave her alone and move on with your life. "The point sounds sincere" ... it's something that SOUNDS sincere, nothing more. No offense, but apologies do not help all the time.

 

[ladyforsaken]

As long as it's short, to the point and sounds sincere, then I don't see why it has to be such a bad idea, although it could be seen as an excuse to re-initiate contact. If it's likely she's going to think that then probably not a good idea.

That fact he feels bad is at least something. That's what an apology is communicating, nothing more.

Obviously you haven't been in a situation then where you want to forget someone/something..
My ex tried to apologise the other day and I started yelling at everybody.
Ask ... everybody.

I can totally understand that reaction. It just triggers something inside.. it's something that's really hard to explain, unless you've been through a similar experience before.

 

[Rainbows]

As long as it's short, to the point and sounds sincere, then I don't see why it has to be such a bad idea, although it could be seen as an excuse to re-initiate contact. If it's likely she's going to think that then probably not a good idea.

That fact he feels bad is at least something. That's what an apology is communicating, nothing more.

Obviously you haven't been in a situation then where you want to forget someone/something..
My ex tried to apologise the other day and I started yelling at everybody.
Ask ... everybody.

I can totally understand that reaction. It just triggers something inside.. it's something that's really hard to explain, unless you've been through a similar experience before.

<3

 

[ardour]

Apologies don't help? Ever heard of Restorative Justice? A victim of serious crime can meet and hear out the perpetrator, but an email from an ex is too much?
It sounds like you guys are looking for an excuse to go on hating your ex partners.

(please ignore this comment if there were sexual assaults or physical abuse in these past relationships)

 

[Lowlander]

Apologies don't help? Ever heard of Restorative Justice? A victim of serious crimes can meet and hear out the perpetrator, but an email from an ex is too much?
It sounds like you guys are looking for an excuse to go on hating your ex partners.

(please ignore this comment if there were sexual assaults or physical abuse in these past relationships)

Well to be honest, I've heard "I'm sorry" too many times, and used too easy as an excuse .. it's not like all is forgiven with those two words.

 

[Rainbows]

Apologies don't help? Ever heard of Restorative Justice? A victim of serious crimes can meet and hear out the perpetrator, but an email from an ex is too much?
It sounds like you guys want an excuse to go on hating your ex partners.

(if there were sexual assaults in these past relationships, then please ignore what I've said)

Lol, I don't want an excuse to go hating on my "ex partner." Look, dude, the guy asked for advice - there's a bunch of women saying that he shouldn't do it. Then there's two guys saying that he could do it but only if it's sincere.

I'm pretty sure that in this case, you should follow what the women are saying because, we might semi-know what the girl in question went through. (Not sayin' you couldn't have been treated bad in the past, but - hey - you know what I mean.)

If I wanted to go and hate on my ex partner, I wouldn't post it on a public forum, duh, lol.

 

[Lowlander]

Apologies don't help? Ever heard of Restorative Justice? A victim of serious crimes can meet and hear out the perpetrator, but an email from an ex is too much?
It sounds like you guys want an excuse to go on hating your ex partners.

(if there were sexual assaults in these past relationships, then please ignore what I've said)

Lol, I don't want an excuse to go hating on my "ex partner." Look, dude, the guy asked for advice - there's a bunch of women saying that he shouldn't do it. Then there's two guys saying that he could do it but only if it's sincere.

I'm pretty sure that in this case, you should follow what the women are saying because in this case, we might semi-know what the girl in question went through. (Not sayin' you couldn't have been treated bad in the past, but - hey - you know what I mean.)

If I wanted to go and hate on my ex partner, I wouldn't post it on a public forum, duh, lol.

Who needs an excuse to hate their ex-partner anyway?

 

[ardour]

Clearly you don't need one. Seems like an bottomless well of hatred. Okay...if you were put through hell and feared for your life with these guys then of course it's understandable you would not want to hear it or read it.. but what the OP did falls under the jerk category more than anything (maybe the threatening part is more serious) People can change; they certainly can from being a garden variety jerk.

 

[Lowlander]

The girl doesn't want anything to do with him anymore, probably. It's better to just not say anything and get on with your life.

 

[PieBeNice]

Clearly you don't need one. Seems like an bottomless well of hatred. Okay...if you were put through hell and feared for your life with these guys then of course it's understandable you would not want to hear it or read it.. but what the OP did falls under the jerk category more than anything (maybe the threatening part is a bit more serious) People can change; they certainly can from being a garden variety jerk.

If he's changed he'd respect her feelings by not being an asshat and making her have to be reminded of him. I'm all for being a jerk though, he should definitely contact her.

 

[Rainbows]

Clearly you don't need one. Seems like an bottomless well of hatred. Okay...if you were put through hell and feared for your life with these guys then of course it's understandable you would not want to hear it or read it.. but what the OP did falls under the jerk category more than anything (maybe the threatening part is a bit more serious) People can change; they certainly can from being a garden variety jerk.

If he's changed he'd respect her feelings by not being an asshat and making her have to be reminded of him. I'm all for being a jerk though, he should definitely contact her.

aren't you the loveliest lol
but pie is basically saying what we've all been sayin'

 

[PieBeNice]

Clearly you don't need one. Seems like an bottomless well of hatred. Okay...if you were put through hell and feared for your life with these guys then of course it's understandable you would not want to hear it or read it.. but what the OP did falls under the jerk category more than anything (maybe the threatening part is a bit more serious) People can change; they certainly can from being a garden variety jerk.

If he's changed he'd respect her feelings by not being an asshat and making her have to be reminded of him. I'm all for being a jerk though, he should definitely contact her.

aren't you the loveliest lol
but pie is basically saying what we've all been sayin'

No, you guys just copied what I was going to write.

 

[ardour]

If he's changed he'd respect her feelings by not being an asshat and making her have to be reminded of him. I'm all for being a jerk though, he should definitely contact her.

You can't really forget somebody though. An apology might at least provide some closure. All it's saying is "I recognize what I did was wrong", which in a way supports her feelings about what she went through .. not saying I'm right, just another perspective.

 

[PieBeNice]

If he's changed he'd respect her feelings by not being an asshat and making her have to be reminded of him. I'm all for being a jerk though, he should definitely contact her.

You can't forget somebody though. He will never leave her memory, as she won't his. An apology might at least provide some closure. All it's saying is "I recognize what I did was wrong", which in a way supports her feelings about what she went through .. not saying I'm right, just another perspective.

I agree, this awful time is in her memory and he should definitely bring it up again so this memories resurface and cause problems.

 

[Rainbows]

If he's changed he'd respect her feelings by not being an asshat and making her have to be reminded of him. I'm all for being a jerk though, he should definitely contact her.

You can't forget somebody though. He will never leave her memory, as she won't his. An apology might at least provide some closure. All it's saying is "I recognize what I did was wrong", which in a way supports her feelings about what she went through .. not saying I'm right, just another perspective.

I agree, this awful time is in her memory and he should definitely bring it up again so this memories resurface and cause problems.

that's what every woman loves! Yum! Bad boys!
(^This is clearly sarcasm. JUST. SAYING.)

 

[ardour]

I agree, this awful time is in her memory and he should definitely bring it up again so this memories resurface and cause problems.

Right because memories never resurface on their own, bury them and they're gone forever...

I mean why apologize to anyone for anything - they'll just be reminded of the thing we wanted to apologize for.

 

[Rainbows]

I agree, this awful time is in her memory and he should definitely bring it up again so this memories resurface and cause problems.

Right because memories never resurface on their own, bury them and they're gone forever...

I mean why apologize to anyone for anything - they'll just be reminded of thing being apologized for :rolleyes2:

yea let's just generalize apologising for stealing somebody's groceries and apolosing for being a jerk in a emotionally abusive relationship..

k

I'm done.

 

[PieBeNice]

I agree, this awful time is in her memory and he should definitely bring it up again so this memories resurface and cause problems.

Right because memories never resurface on their own, bury them and they're gone forever...

I mean why apologize to anyone for anything - they'll just be reminded of thing we wanted to apologize for :rolleyes2:

I know right, but it's not as if a certain way of making them resurface is if the silly willy in question brought them up again. I see what you mean about apologising, we should totally apologise to people who probably just want to put the thing behind them because feelings of guilt obviously outweigh how others feel.