Let me start off my saying that I appreciate that you have taken the time to read my post. I need perspective on my life and sometimes I am not sure where to go for help. Here is my story...
I am 24, m, married. I married when I was 21. At the time I was religiously devout and part of the reason I married was because of my religious beliefs. My wife is a wonderful person, she loves me like I am sure no one else will ever love me. And although this will sound ungrateful of my part, I cannot seem to love her the way she loves me. In hindsight getting married was a mistake. Simply because I had not seen enough of life to truly know the magnitude of the decision I made.
Six months ago my wife and I began having some difficulties in our relationship. She does not work. I on the other hand am very focused on establishing my career and work in a job that at times requires very long hours, weekends, and some travelling. During these busy periods of work she feels lonely and even though she says understands her actions demonstrate to me that she resents me. During one of these periods she decided to visit her family in another state for 1 month while I stayed back. I was working very long hours so it seemed like we wouldnt be seeing much of each other anyway. During the month that she was away I met someone, Anna.
I was with a group of friends that day and one of them brought Anna along. We were introduced and that was that. I didnt care to pay much attention because all i wanted was to take my mind off of work. To make this long story short Anna turned out to be an incredible person. We talked the entire time and there never was a dull moment.
Anna became one of the close circle of friends that I have and I began to see her more frequently. We have never been more than just friends. Sometimes Anna and I lock eyes and stare at each other. When this happens she smiles and looks down. As time has passed and as I have gotten to know Anna more I realize I have fallen in love with her. I also realized that I have never felt this for anyone else. I have felt affection but what I feel for Anna is more. I have never told her because it would be unfair.
It would also be unfair to my wife. She does not deserve it. But how do you tell the heart to love someone and not to love someone else?
I wish I had met Anna sooner. But I did not. The past cannot be changed. So even though I love her I will commit to never seeing her again because of the very fact that I love her. I know that as time passes and this feeling grows stronger I will want to tell her and that is only going to be a cause for pain and suffering. That is not what I want for the woman I love.
Please, tell me how bad of a person I am. I need know it but my heart justifies my actions and that is not a good thing.
I am 24, m, married. I married when I was 21. At the time I was religiously devout and part of the reason I married was because of my religious beliefs. My wife is a wonderful person, she loves me like I am sure no one else will ever love me. And although this will sound ungrateful of my part, I cannot seem to love her the way she loves me. In hindsight getting married was a mistake. Simply because I had not seen enough of life to truly know the magnitude of the decision I made.
Six months ago my wife and I began having some difficulties in our relationship. She does not work. I on the other hand am very focused on establishing my career and work in a job that at times requires very long hours, weekends, and some travelling. During these busy periods of work she feels lonely and even though she says understands her actions demonstrate to me that she resents me. During one of these periods she decided to visit her family in another state for 1 month while I stayed back. I was working very long hours so it seemed like we wouldnt be seeing much of each other anyway. During the month that she was away I met someone, Anna.
I was with a group of friends that day and one of them brought Anna along. We were introduced and that was that. I didnt care to pay much attention because all i wanted was to take my mind off of work. To make this long story short Anna turned out to be an incredible person. We talked the entire time and there never was a dull moment.
Anna became one of the close circle of friends that I have and I began to see her more frequently. We have never been more than just friends. Sometimes Anna and I lock eyes and stare at each other. When this happens she smiles and looks down. As time has passed and as I have gotten to know Anna more I realize I have fallen in love with her. I also realized that I have never felt this for anyone else. I have felt affection but what I feel for Anna is more. I have never told her because it would be unfair.
It would also be unfair to my wife. She does not deserve it. But how do you tell the heart to love someone and not to love someone else?
I wish I had met Anna sooner. But I did not. The past cannot be changed. So even though I love her I will commit to never seeing her again because of the very fact that I love her. I know that as time passes and this feeling grows stronger I will want to tell her and that is only going to be a cause for pain and suffering. That is not what I want for the woman I love.
Please, tell me how bad of a person I am. I need know it but my heart justifies my actions and that is not a good thing.