SwagMustDie
New member
- Joined
- Jun 3, 2013
- Messages
- 4
- Reaction score
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Hello I am male and I am 19 yrs old. I wish I was never born. I feel suicidal from time to time but for the most part I just wish I never existed. I am an atheist and do not believe in an afterlife. So I don't see any reason why I shouldn't commit suicide besides the fact that it would hurt my family very deeply.
My older brother acts like a jerk, but he never thinks he is being one. I do not visit my father very much (parents are divorced). My entire family besides my brother, are Christian and that makes me feel very alienated.
I'm out of high school and I threw all of my friends away because I felt alienated around their type of scene. I do not have any friends besides people I socialize with online. I am lonely and do not like my generation (which is why I do not socialize). People my age treat women like they are pieces of meat and I cannot stand the culture. I also cannot stand the immaturity of people my age.
I haven't been able to find a job for almost 2 years now. It seems that I can act fine around people, but I have a low-self esteem and I think I'm ugly and overweight. I also don't go to college and maybe that is a mistake on my part. I hated high school and maybe that's why I never chose to go to college.
I haven't been in a real relationship with a girl ever. Most of my relationships were hook-ups and never felt genuine. Every person I have ever really cared about being with was never interested in me. People online always say that you don't ever care for a person, but you just want to get in their pants. Well, that's just not me and I am being honest. That kind of mentality people have is also alienating to me :/
I just feel depressed, lonely, and just wish I was never born. There isn't any reason for me to live for besides my family. Maybe I should see a psychiatrist? I am not sure.
My older brother acts like a jerk, but he never thinks he is being one. I do not visit my father very much (parents are divorced). My entire family besides my brother, are Christian and that makes me feel very alienated.
I'm out of high school and I threw all of my friends away because I felt alienated around their type of scene. I do not have any friends besides people I socialize with online. I am lonely and do not like my generation (which is why I do not socialize). People my age treat women like they are pieces of meat and I cannot stand the culture. I also cannot stand the immaturity of people my age.
I haven't been able to find a job for almost 2 years now. It seems that I can act fine around people, but I have a low-self esteem and I think I'm ugly and overweight. I also don't go to college and maybe that is a mistake on my part. I hated high school and maybe that's why I never chose to go to college.
I haven't been in a real relationship with a girl ever. Most of my relationships were hook-ups and never felt genuine. Every person I have ever really cared about being with was never interested in me. People online always say that you don't ever care for a person, but you just want to get in their pants. Well, that's just not me and I am being honest. That kind of mentality people have is also alienating to me :/
I just feel depressed, lonely, and just wish I was never born. There isn't any reason for me to live for besides my family. Maybe I should see a psychiatrist? I am not sure.