I wish that the earth would just sollow me up

[Amethyst]

Have you ever thought that suicide is a lost cause? The pain and the suffering of those around you to watch in a role reversal situation, would kill you? This is the only reason why I can never inflict this type of pain onto anyone.

I have two teenagers (a long way of being) adults (in maturity wise of coping) who would not know how to survive without me. As a punishment I would like to test this, but fail at this each time they show distress.

Although this does not stop me in hope of seeing my dream..... a wicked part of me, that wants to be set free. As I have struggled been a sole carer for the past ten years, of torture, raising children that are defective by hereditary diseases that I was not aware of.

Don't get me wrong! my own family was dysfunctional, I survived, well almost, as I would not be writing this if things were sweet.

My wish is, that the earth is wiped from "all existences".... so no one is left behind to grieve.....

Pretty sad really, as I would be selfishly taking away other peoples happiness and achievements.

How I wish everything would no longer in existent.

 

[Darkness]

I just with a Giant Asteroid would just come and destroy our sad and pathetic race!

 

[Badjedidude]

Well this is certainly a cheery thread.

 

[Amethyst]

Me too....

---

Well this is certainly a cheery thread.

Don't rain on my ******* parade.... No it is not, and for once I would like someone to support my darkest feelings.

 

[Badjedidude]

Don't rain on my ******* parade.... No it is not, and for once I would like someone to support my darkest feelings.

Calm down.

 

[Tiina63]

Hello Amethyst, yes, I have at times wished that the earth would be destroyed though, like you, I feel guilty at thinking this because of all of those who enjoy life.
My heart goes out to you for being a sole carer for ten years. I was a sole carer for my parents for 8 years and it was hard. Is there any sort of official support you might be able to get, someone to step in even for just a few hours a week or a day centre one or two days a week so that you could go out and do something for YOU.

 

[Amethyst]

Hello Amethyst, yes, I have at times wished that the earth would be destroyed though, like you, I feel guilty at thinking this because of all of those who enjoy life.
My heart goes out to you for being a sole carer for ten years. I was a sole carer for my parents for 8 years and it was hard. Is there any sort of official support you might be able to get, someone to step in even for just a few hours a week or a day centre one or two days a week so that you could go out and do something for YOU.

Thank you Tina63, for relating to the need of personal space and understanding of a carer. I truly hope that life has rewarded your unselfish behaviour.

Darkness, thanks for your support of missile.... as I know where this feeling comes from.

Badjedidude, Nothing against you, but it would not hurt if you developed a maturing side about you. Nothing is either black or white, or suiting to your needs!

 

[EveWasFramed]

Have you ever thought that suicide is a lost cause? The pain and the suffering of those around you to watch in a role reversal situation, would kill you? This is the only reason why I can never inflict this type of pain onto anyone.

I have two teenagers (a long way of being) adults (in maturity wise of coping) who would not know how to survive without me. As a punishment I would like to test this, but fail at this each time they show distress.

Although this does not stop me in hope of seeing my dream..... a wicked part of me, that wants to be set free. As I have struggled been a sole carer for the past ten years, of torture, raising children that are defective by hereditary diseases that I was not aware of.

Don't get me wrong! my own family was dysfunctional, I survived, well almost, as I would not be writing this if things were sweet.

My wish is, that the earth is wiped from "all existences".... so no one is left behind to grieve.....

Pretty sad really, as I would be selfishly taking away other peoples happiness and achievements.

How I wish everything would no longer in existent.

I understand your frustration, Amethyst. I have a family member who was a single parent most of her life and even now, she still can't seem to be free from her adult children (ages 20-26). She has struggled with this situation for YEARS and nothing seems to change. It saddens me that she uses the word "escape" when she talks about having freedom from her own children. I have a feeling you might relate very well to that.
As a single parent myself (my daughter is 8 now) I know the struggles of raising a child(ren) on your own. You lose a very large chunk of your life for a number of years because you are both mother AND father to the children.
Keen your chin up, my lovely. You are not alone in what you are going through - others understand and care. (((((hugs)))))

 

[Minus]

Sometimes the earth being reduced to a burn cinder can be a comforting thought. Yes we realize that it is not the best or most kind path, but the thought can still be a comfort at times.

 

[sherin]

evn I thnk sometimes dat how nyc it wud b dat I just go into nonexistence. like I never had been born.

but we hav to go on. we cant say everything will b alright coz v r nt sure but v sure can hope coz dat is what moves us forward.
AMETHYST I cant advise u in anyway regrading ur trouble coz I cnt completly understand wat u r goin thru. but yeah I can say dat I hav seen my own shares of troubl (but it was nthng compared to yours)

 

[Badjedidude]

Badjedidude, Nothing against you, but it would not hurt if you developed a maturing side about you. Nothing is either black or white, or suiting to your needs!

I'm not sure how you've snapped to the judgment of me as being immature simply from two very short posts.

I can only assume that you think I'm immature simply because I disagree with you.

How unfortunate.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Badjedidude, Nothing against you, but it would not hurt if you developed a maturing side about you. Nothing is either black or white, or suiting to your needs!

I'm not sure how you've snapped to the judgment of me as being immature simply from two very short posts.

I can only assume that you think I'm immature simply because I disagree with you.

How unfortunate.

C'mon, now Stever. I know a bit about how she feels. Cut her a break, please?

 

[Badjedidude]

C'mon, now Stever. I know a bit about how she feels. Cut her a break, please?

I'm not sure how I can cut her a break when I haven't done anything to her in the first place.

But since it's you and you asked nicely...

 

[EveWasFramed]

C'mon, now Stever. I know a bit about how she feels. Cut her a break, please?

I'm not sure how I can cut her a break when I haven't done anything to her in the first place.

But since it's you and you asked nicely...

lol, thank you. It was your comment about what a cheery thread this was. She's really hurting right now and it came across kind of...well, jackass-ish? lol
You're a good egg, Stever.