I'm checking out

[notworhy]

So here it goes. I will try to objectively try to figure out what my issues are and why they’re happening.

At this point in time I’m on the verge of taking my own life. Loneliness has cursed me for the better part of my 27 years of life. Though up until a couple years ago I’ve been unknowingly coping relatively well.

The primary problem is that women don’t find me attractive. I know it’s not fair to give a sweeping generalization for an entire gender but that’s how it is from my point of view. Growing up I used to try to talk to a lot of women but wouldn’t garner much interest from any of them so I figured that was relatively normal. Surprisingly in my teen years I didn’t really pay attention to why other guys were successful nor did it bother me. After high school I start working at starbucks and developed a decent ability to converse with people in general. Plenty of amazing and beautiful women would come by and I would talk to them. Though none of them reciprocated any interest when I asked for their number after I broke the ice. So needless to say even though I was being social I couldn’t understand why women didn’t like me, but I didn’t let it get me down. During all this I was really into lifting and nutrition so I was pretty lean and muscular.

When I was 24, I decided to join the army which was a big mistake for me. I had a lot of unsolved father issues so I didn’t handle authority very well and didn’t make any friends while I was away. I sunk into a deep state of depression from being isolated, I lost a lot of my confidence and self esteem. People didn’t like me. So after they kicked me out for not being able to integrate I came back home. I thought not being in that type of environment would make things better but it was the contrary. I started to feel worse about myself.
I attempted to do online dating but I would get very few messages. So I’m thinking to myself what the fresia is wrong with me? I’m 26 years old and I still haven’t found a woman interested in me. I’m still a virgin. So like the desperate lonely fresia I am, I start googling what women look for and what they are attracted to. So then it hit me. I’m only 5’7” and my hairline has receded to the point of where I have to shave my head. Girls like men who are tall with nice hair. All this nonsense about how they want someone who is “confident” is such bullshit. To further test this theory I decided to make a fake plenty of fish account of a guy who is over 6 feet tall, full head of hair, and muscular. But average on the facial looks. I made the profile description one sentence. Long and behold I didn’t need to put forth much effort to get my mailbox bombarded by messages from women wanting to talk this guy. They all wanted his number and craved his attention. It literally took zero effort on my part. My initial messages consisted of “Hey gorgeous” and I would say more than half of the people I messaged responded back. Though unlike my own pof account, I wouldn’t get any hits back. Nothing. Even though I put effort into my profile.

So I realize now why women don’t find me attractive. Even before I became insecure about my loss of hair and lack of height I wasn’t successful at all. And I had all these nonsense traits like self confidence, self esteem, empowerment, passion. It didn’t matter. Women had no interest in being anymore than friends. Anytime I would try to project my sexual energy they would get uncomfortable. But now I know. What am I to do? Granted I’m working on my muscular build. I’m more than happy to work on something I can change. But being short and losing my hair is a genetic curse. I can’t fix that. Yet those are the main deciding factors of what women like.

So my confidence and self esteem are crushed. I’ve been going to therapy for the past year and it hasn’t helped. I feel like I’m not worthy to be a man or a human being. All the while the effects of not sharing physical intimacy is taking it’s toll. We are physical creatures, we need touch. Without it, it makes depression worse.

Being a virgin at 27 really makes it difficult to fit in anywhere. All the guys I know talk about their sexual conquests like it’s nothing. I can’t even fathom what that would be like. So I’ve began to despise women and men alike. I’m finished living through this forsaken nightmare.

Tl;dr. 27 year old male virgin. 5’7”, shaved head from receding hair line, lost confidence from not being able to attract women. Ready to end my life.

 

[BeyondShy]

I really hope you don't do this. Please step back and reconsider this. Live life for you and for no one else.

 

[notworhy]

I really do appreciate you responding to this post so I don't mean to sound rude. If your variables were the same as mine you would understand why. I'm looking for insight into my situation.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Okay, from the sounds of it, you want "beautiful and amazing" women. Lower your standards. Seriously, I don't mean that to be rude and maybe you look at other girls too, but that's the way it comes across, to me at least. Also, while someone may SEEM amazing, you can't really know someone from chatting them up while they wait on coffee, so you can't know if they are amazing. There ARE women out there that will want to be with you, but there are factors you need to consider sometimes before you get there. Stop with the comparing/fake profiles bullshit too, that doesn't do jack honeysuckle, except attract shallow people.

Now, let's move on to you. First, stop bashing yourself. Low self esteem and low/no confidence and depression radiates outward and people can see it (or sense it, whatever way you want to look at it) and that makes them back off, even if you think you are hiding it well. The height and the hair....sorry, but who the fresia cares. Obviously you do, but I don't really care what you read, while some women may care about that honeysuckle, certainly not all of us do. The majority of the guys I've dated (including the guy I married) were all shorter than me. Most of them (now, not then) have receding hairlines. Doesn't matter. Like BeyondShy said, you need to work on yourself. Stop focusing so **** much on what you want to get and start focusing more on who YOU want to be. When you live your life in the hopes of getting someone else, you won't get very far. That's because you aren't looking at yourself and doing for yourself.
Change what you can about yourself that you don't like and accept the rest. As for the hair, there are pills and implants you can check into, but hair doesn't make the man, the man makes the man....

Now, let's move on to other aspects....
What do you like to do? Interests, hobbies, etc...
What do you like about yourself? Don't say nothing, I don't buy that honeysuckle.
What do you want to do with your life? Career and whatnot.

There is more to life than sex, so stop worrying about being a virgin. If that is honestly bothering you that much, there are other avenues you can explore, but if you do that, I urge you to do your research and know what you are getting before you get it.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Girls like men who are tall with nice hair.

. . .

So I realize now why women don’t find me attractive.

That is what those women liked. We're not all like that. I'm certainly not speaking for every lady here, but I can honestly say that we (anyone really) like someone we can talk to and be comfortable with. You sound very uncomfortable with yourself, so why would you expect anyone else to be comfortable with you? Not every woman wants a tall, muscular dude. I know I don't. But if you slap labels on what everyone else wants, you diminish the fact that you need to be who you are.

If you were tall with muscles and a head full of hair (which, believe me, there are dudes like that here, still saying much of the same things you are), and women still didn't come running to you, what would be your reason then? You'd still be straddling the fence on how to be because regardless of anything else, you're unsure about yourself. Every little thing you find to pick on yourself is just another excuse why. Stop picking on yourself so much.

 

[BeyondShy]

You're frustrated because you don't have female companionship. A lot of people are. Sorry to say I am too. I'd like to say I can't identify with that but then I would be lying. I'd love to go out tonight and take some girl to a movie or something. But I'll be home knee-deep in a hidden object game and then I will go to bed.

Have you ever noticed there are guys that you can honestly say you look better than that have a girlfriend or a wife? I know I can. I don't consider myself even close to being a kind of guy women want to be with but at the same time they don't run out of a room when I enter and when I work up the courage to talk to them they talk back and they don't mind doing it.

You don't have confidence. I see that.

 

[beautiful loser]

So here it goes. I will try to objectively try to figure out what my issues are and why they’re happening.

At this point in time I’m on the verge of taking my own life. Loneliness has cursed me for the better part of my 27 years of life. Though up until a couple years ago I’ve been unknowingly coping relatively well.

The primary problem is that women don’t find me attractive. I know it’s not fair to give a sweeping generalization for an entire gender but that’s how it is from my point of view. Growing up I used to try to talk to a lot of women but wouldn’t garner much interest from any of them so I figured that was relatively normal. Surprisingly in my teen years I didn’t really pay attention to why other guys were successful nor did it bother me. After high school I start working at starbucks and developed a decent ability to converse with people in general. Plenty of amazing and beautiful women would come by and I would talk to them. Though none of them reciprocated any interest when I asked for their number after I broke the ice. So needless to say even though I was being social I couldn’t understand why women didn’t like me, but I didn’t let it get me down. During all this I was really into lifting and nutrition so I was pretty lean and muscular.

When I was 24, I decided to join the army which was a big mistake for me. I had a lot of unsolved father issues so I didn’t handle authority very well and didn’t make any friends while I was away. I sunk into a deep state of depression from being isolated, I lost a lot of my confidence and self esteem. People didn’t like me. So after they kicked me out for not being able to integrate I came back home. I thought not being in that type of environment would make things better but it was the contrary. I started to feel worse about myself.
I attempted to do online dating but I would get very few messages. So I’m thinking to myself what the fresia is wrong with me? I’m 26 years old and I still haven’t found a woman interested in me. I’m still a virgin. So like the desperate lonely fresia I am, I start googling what women look for and what they are attracted to. So then it hit me. I’m only 5’7” and my hairline has receded to the point of where I have to shave my head. Girls like men who are tall with nice hair. All this nonsense about how they want someone who is “confident” is such bullshit. To further test this theory I decided to make a fake plenty of fish account of a guy who is over 6 feet tall, full head of hair, and muscular. But average on the facial looks. I made the profile description one sentence. Long and behold I didn’t need to put forth much effort to get my mailbox bombarded by messages from women wanting to talk this guy. They all wanted his number and craved his attention. It literally took zero effort on my part. My initial messages consisted of “Hey gorgeous” and I would say more than half of the people I messaged responded back. Though unlike my own pof account, I wouldn’t get any hits back. Nothing. Even though I put effort into my profile.

So I realize now why women don’t find me attractive. Even before I became insecure about my loss of hair and lack of height I wasn’t successful at all. And I had all these nonsense traits like self confidence, self esteem, empowerment, passion. It didn’t matter. Women had no interest in being anymore than friends. Anytime I would try to project my sexual energy they would get uncomfortable. But now I know. What am I to do? Granted I’m working on my muscular build. I’m more than happy to work on something I can change. But being short and losing my hair is a genetic curse. I can’t fix that. Yet those are the main deciding factors of what women like.

So my confidence and self esteem are crushed. I’ve been going to therapy for the past year and it hasn’t helped. I feel like I’m not worthy to be a man or a human being. All the while the effects of not sharing physical intimacy is taking it’s toll. We are physical creatures, we need touch. Without it, it makes depression worse.

Being a virgin at 27 really makes it difficult to fit in anywhere. All the guys I know talk about their sexual conquests like it’s nothing. I can’t even fathom what that would be like. So I’ve began to despise women and men alike. I’m finished living through this forsaken nightmare.

Tl;dr. 27 year old male virgin. 5’7”, shaved head from receding hair line, lost confidence from not being able to attract women. Ready to end my life.

Okay, normally I never respond these type of posts because it’s the same thing, just change the screen name, but this time I will respond.

I’m shorter than you, but I have gone out with quite a few women in past couple of decades and could have been married twice, but I didn’t see either relationship lasting too long, so I broke them off.

As for women only liking men with nice “features”, yes, there are some women that do judge men on height, hair, weight, etc., but who wants a shallow ******* to call his girlfriend? I’ve even been told I was too short for some women, and while it sucks, you dwell on it for a day or two, vent if you need to and then just suck it up and move on.

Your problem is your low self esteem, as that is one thing women can easily pick up on and who wants a sad sack to be around? I’m sorry if I come off as being a prick, but it’s true. I get tired of being around guys at work, with the “woe is me” attitude, so I can imagine what a woman must think when she’s around one of those types.

Just so you know, what you think you lack in height and looks, well you make it for it with a witty personality, charm, confidence and quite frankly, it does help if you know how to flirt.

Most all of the women I’ve gone out with (some of them asked me out, which is one hell of an awesome feeling) ended up liking me because I made them laugh, remembered small things they said/liked and acted upon it, showed confidence in my abilities and did one or two little things for them that no one else bothered to do. I got that way by just listening and being around them, plus it helps to be an extrovert, but still you can learn these things if you make a change in your attitude.

Fix yourself and you’d be surprised what you can accomplish. Good luck.

 

[notworhy]

Okay, from the sounds of it, you want "beautiful and amazing" women. Lower your standards. Seriously, I don't mean that to be rude and maybe you look at other girls too, but that's the way it comes across, to me at least. Also, while someone may SEEM amazing, you can't really know someone from chatting them up while they wait on coffee, so you can't know if they are amazing. There ARE women out there that will want to be with you, but there are factors you need to consider sometimes before you get there. Stop with the comparing/fake profiles bullshit too, that doesn't do jack honeysuckle, except attract shallow people.

Now, let's move on to you. First, stop bashing yourself. Low self esteem and low/no confidence and depression radiates outward and people can see it (or sense it, whatever way you want to look at it) and that makes them back off, even if you think you are hiding it well. The height and the hair....sorry, but who the fresia cares. Obviously you do, but I don't really care what you read, while some women may care about that honeysuckle, certainly not all of us do. The majority of the guys I've dated (including the guy I married) were all shorter than me. Most of them (now, not then) have receding hairlines. Doesn't matter. Like BeyondShy said, you need to work on yourself. Stop focusing so **** much on what you want to get and start focusing more on who YOU want to be. When you live your life in the hopes of getting someone else, you won't get very far. That's because you aren't looking at yourself and doing for yourself.
Change what you can about yourself that you don't like and accept the rest. As for the hair, there are pills and implants you can check into, but hair doesn't make the man, the man makes the man....

Now, let's move on to other aspects....
What do you like to do? Interests, hobbies, etc...
What do you like about yourself? Don't say nothing, I don't buy that honeysuckle.
What do you want to do with your life? Career and whatnot.

There is more to life than sex, so stop worrying about being a virgin. If that is honestly bothering you that much, there are other avenues you can explore, but if you do that, I urge you to do your research and know what you are getting before you get it.

I appreciate you responding. I'm at a point where standards aren't really relevant. I never just went for the hottest woman around. Even before I took the major confidence hit, I talked to everyone. The results were exactly the same regardless of their attractiveness level. The profile comparison gave me valuable insight on why things are the way they are. Like I have mentioned I was never self conscious about my hair and height in the past until I realized it's a huge contributing factor of why I'm not getting any results. In fact I did have a healthy amount of confidence and self esteem but the results were exactly the same. So I hope you see my dilemma.

I know that having no self confidence or self esteem isn't making my situation any better. Perhaps it does project onto other people, but I can't really seem to get it back. I've been in therapy for this for over a year with not much help.

What do I like to do? I go to the gym everyday to lift weights, it's always been a fiery passion of mine.

What do I like about myself? I like that I'm pretty intuitive about how I'm feeling, I like how I stay disciplined with my physical training.

What do I want to do with my life? Right now I'm back in school full time on the government's dime so I can get my associates. I'm either looking into a computer science degree or physical therapy.

I've thought about hiring an escort but for one they're way too expensive, and second off I would feel horrible that as a human being and a man that I'm not capable of finding another woman to do it with. Obviously there is more to life than sex, but it's different when your physical intimacy needs aren't being met. People that have had sex before or are in a relationship don't understand it. That's why it's difficult to talk about this with other people or my therapist because they've felt what it's like to be needed and desired.

---

Girls like men who are tall with nice hair.

. . .

So I realize now why women don’t find me attractive.

That is what those women liked. We're not all like that. I'm certainly not speaking for every lady here, but I can honestly say that we (anyone really) like someone we can talk to and be comfortable with. You sound very uncomfortable with yourself, so why would you expect anyone else to be comfortable with you? Not every woman wants a tall, muscular dude. I know I don't. But if you slap labels on what everyone else wants, you diminish the fact that you need to be who you are.

If you were tall with muscles and a head full of hair (which, believe me, there are dudes like that here, still saying much of the same things you are), and women still didn't come running to you, what would be your reason then? You'd still be straddling the fence on how to be because regardless of anything else, you're unsure about yourself. Every little thing you find to pick on yourself is just another excuse why. Stop picking on yourself so much.

I appreciate you responding. In the past I was never insecure about those things but I was still garnering the same results. I just never understood because I projected confidence and a solid demeanor. Over time after coming to a realization has made me feel insecure about it because all the guys around me have it differently.

So my point is, even if I do regain my confidence somehow. Been working on it for the past year which hasn't helped, then there still wouldn't be a change in results.

---

You're frustrated because you don't have female companionship. A lot of people are. Sorry to say I am too. I'd like to say I can't identify with that but then I would be lying. I'd love to go out tonight and take some girl to a movie or something. But I'll be home knee-deep in a hidden object game and then I will go to bed.

Have you ever noticed there are guys that you can honestly say you look better than that have a girlfriend or a wife? I know I can. I don't consider myself even close to being a kind of guy women want to be with but at the same time they don't run out of a room when I enter and when I work up the courage to talk to them they talk back and they don't mind doing it.

You don't have confidence. I see that.

Yeah I've seen some not so good looking guys with girlfriends. They must have something I don't have, or project something that I don't. Confidence always seemed like an irrelevant factor for me. They wouldn't be interested either way.

---

So here it goes. I will try to objectively try to figure out what my issues are and why they’re happening.

At this point in time I’m on the verge of taking my own life. Loneliness has cursed me for the better part of my 27 years of life. Though up until a couple years ago I’ve been unknowingly coping relatively well.

The primary problem is that women don’t find me attractive. I know it’s not fair to give a sweeping generalization for an entire gender but that’s how it is from my point of view. Growing up I used to try to talk to a lot of women but wouldn’t garner much interest from any of them so I figured that was relatively normal. Surprisingly in my teen years I didn’t really pay attention to why other guys were successful nor did it bother me. After high school I start working at starbucks and developed a decent ability to converse with people in general. Plenty of amazing and beautiful women would come by and I would talk to them. Though none of them reciprocated any interest when I asked for their number after I broke the ice. So needless to say even though I was being social I couldn’t understand why women didn’t like me, but I didn’t let it get me down. During all this I was really into lifting and nutrition so I was pretty lean and muscular.

When I was 24, I decided to join the army which was a big mistake for me. I had a lot of unsolved father issues so I didn’t handle authority very well and didn’t make any friends while I was away. I sunk into a deep state of depression from being isolated, I lost a lot of my confidence and self esteem. People didn’t like me. So after they kicked me out for not being able to integrate I came back home. I thought not being in that type of environment would make things better but it was the contrary. I started to feel worse about myself.
I attempted to do online dating but I would get very few messages. So I’m thinking to myself what the fresia is wrong with me? I’m 26 years old and I still haven’t found a woman interested in me. I’m still a virgin. So like the desperate lonely fresia I am, I start googling what women look for and what they are attracted to. So then it hit me. I’m only 5’7” and my hairline has receded to the point of where I have to shave my head. Girls like men who are tall with nice hair. All this nonsense about how they want someone who is “confident” is such bullshit. To further test this theory I decided to make a fake plenty of fish account of a guy who is over 6 feet tall, full head of hair, and muscular. But average on the facial looks. I made the profile description one sentence. Long and behold I didn’t need to put forth much effort to get my mailbox bombarded by messages from women wanting to talk this guy. They all wanted his number and craved his attention. It literally took zero effort on my part. My initial messages consisted of “Hey gorgeous” and I would say more than half of the people I messaged responded back. Though unlike my own pof account, I wouldn’t get any hits back. Nothing. Even though I put effort into my profile.

So I realize now why women don’t find me attractive. Even before I became insecure about my loss of hair and lack of height I wasn’t successful at all. And I had all these nonsense traits like self confidence, self esteem, empowerment, passion. It didn’t matter. Women had no interest in being anymore than friends. Anytime I would try to project my sexual energy they would get uncomfortable. But now I know. What am I to do? Granted I’m working on my muscular build. I’m more than happy to work on something I can change. But being short and losing my hair is a genetic curse. I can’t fix that. Yet those are the main deciding factors of what women like.

So my confidence and self esteem are crushed. I’ve been going to therapy for the past year and it hasn’t helped. I feel like I’m not worthy to be a man or a human being. All the while the effects of not sharing physical intimacy is taking it’s toll. We are physical creatures, we need touch. Without it, it makes depression worse.

Being a virgin at 27 really makes it difficult to fit in anywhere. All the guys I know talk about their sexual conquests like it’s nothing. I can’t even fathom what that would be like. So I’ve began to despise women and men alike. I’m finished living through this forsaken nightmare.

Tl;dr. 27 year old male virgin. 5’7”, shaved head from receding hair line, lost confidence from not being able to attract women. Ready to end my life.

Okay, normally I never respond these type of posts because it’s the same thing, just change the screen name, but this time I will respond.

I’m shorter than you, but I have gone out with quite a few women in past couple of decades and could have been married twice, but I didn’t see either relationship lasting too long, so I broke them off.

As for women only liking men with nice “features”, yes, there are some women that do judge men on height, hair, weight, etc., but who wants a shallow ******* to call his girlfriend? I’ve even been told I was too short for some women, and while it sucks, you dwell on it for a day or two, vent if you need to and then just suck it up and move on.

Your problem is your low self esteem, as that is one thing women can easily pick up on and who wants a sad sack to be around? I’m sorry if I come off as being a prick, but it’s true. I get tired of being around guys at work, with the “woe is me” attitude, so I can imagine what a woman must think when she’s around one of those types.

Just so you know, what you think you lack in height and looks, well you make it for it with a witty personality, charm, confidence and quite frankly, it does help if you know how to flirt.

Most all of the women I’ve gone out with (some of them asked me out, which is one hell of an awesome feeling) ended up liking me because I made them laugh, remembered small things they said/liked and acted upon it, showed confidence in my abilities and did one or two little things for them that no one else bothered to do. I got that way by just listening and being around them, plus it helps to be an extrovert, but still you can learn these things if you make a change in your attitude.

Fix yourself and you’d be surprised what you can accomplish. Good luck.

I wish I could relate. My lack of self esteem is relatively recent. From 18-24ish I was pretty confident in myself and talked to a decent amount of women from different places yet none of them seemed interested.

Obviously now it's worse, I can't even come up with the courage to talk to any of them. I feel like the creepy short bald guy trying to hit on women. I can't shake that feeling. And honestly that's how women feel when someone unsightly tries flirting with them.

 

[Xpendable]

Unpopluar opinion: Not all women have a "Confidence Radar", that's why many times they end with a loud loser.

 

[ladyforsaken]

So I realize now why women don’t find me attractive. Even before I became insecure about my loss of hair and lack of height I wasn’t successful at all. And I had all these nonsense traits like self confidence, self esteem, empowerment, passion. It didn’t matter.

These things are not nonsensical and they do matter, even if not for women you seek, these traits are important for you. They can also be factors that attract some women.

Women had no interest in being anymore than friends. Anytime I would try to project my sexual energy they would get uncomfortable. But now I know. What am I to do? Granted I’m working on my muscular build. I’m more than happy to work on something I can change. But being short and losing my hair is a genetic curse. I can’t fix that. Yet those are the main deciding factors of what women like.

So my point is, even if I do regain my confidence somehow. Been working on it for the past year which hasn't helped, then there still wouldn't be a change in results.

I know you said that you go to therapy, you go to the gym.. but what else are you doing to work on things that you want to improve about yourself? There's nothing you can do about your height, and honestly, I don't think this matters to some women. As for your hair, I'm sure there are ways to improve the way it looks.

Changes in the results take time, and they're not always evident after your first try. I realise that people tend to fall a few times before getting it right. Keep working on things you want to improve about yourself and keep trying.

Another thing I just wanted to note is that some women can be easily turned off by those who try too hard. So it's always best to be casual and get to know the women when you first meet them rather than start giving out sexual vibes/interest in dating them etc. Showing interest in who they are and what they do is a good start, in my opinion.

Good luck.

 

[Veruca]

There will always be superficial men and women who will reject others if they dont fit their vision of "good looking". Why on earth should we care about such people and their opinions? And these girls online, you shouldnt believe all that you see. There are way too many fake profiles/dishonest portrayal of self cases happening there. And again, even if they are real, its only one small percentage of women.

From the way you've described yourself, you actually sound more attractive then you seem to realize. 5'7", i think is very ok for a guy. Im the same height and wherever I go, I am one of the tallest. And with so many bald, muscular actors everywhere, I think a lot of girls actually find the look very sexy.

Perhaps whats really making them lose interest is your lack of self confidence. I can relate to this. We dont realize how much we self depreciate in conversations and it can tire people. And people dont want to always have to help us feel better about ourselves.

Its not their job, its our job to feel good about ourselves. It sounds like you're focusing a lot on looks, when perhaps it has more to do with maybe your communication style? How you come across as a person?

Please dont give up though. I am in a position where my self esteem is crushed due to a certain condition. Not that men ever found me attractive, but its zero to none now. But I tell myself that even if I have to be alone forever, that I can still contribute something to the world in a good way. Theres a lot more to life then this. I hope you see your self worth with time and things improve.

 

[Paraiyar]

*Shrugs* I'm 24 and am losing my hair at the back s bit so I shave it. Actually kind of prefer having a shaved head, sort of makes you look stronger.

 

[beautiful loser]

So I realize now why women don’t find me attractive. Even before I became insecure about my loss of hair and lack of height I wasn’t successful at all. And I had all these nonsense traits like self confidence, self esteem, empowerment, passion. It didn’t matter.

These things are not nonsensical and they do matter, even if not for women you seek, these traits are important for you. They can also be factors that attract some women.

Women had no interest in being anymore than friends. Anytime I would try to project my sexual energy they would get uncomfortable. But now I know. What am I to do? Granted I’m working on my muscular build. I’m more than happy to work on something I can change. But being short and losing my hair is a genetic curse. I can’t fix that. Yet those are the main deciding factors of what women like.

So my point is, even if I do regain my confidence somehow. Been working on it for the past year which hasn't helped, then there still wouldn't be a change in results.

I know you said that you go to therapy, you go to the gym.. but what else are you doing to work on things that you want to improve about yourself? There's nothing you can do about your height, and honestly, I don't think this matters to some women. As for your hair, I'm sure there are ways to improve the way it looks.

Changes in the results take time, and they're not always evident after your first try. I realise that people tend to fall a few times before getting it right. Keep working on things you want to improve about yourself and keep trying.

Another thing I just wanted to note is that some women can be easily turned off by those who try too hard. So it's always best to be casual and get to know the women when you first meet them rather than start giving out sexual vibes/interest in dating them etc. Showing interest in who they are and what they do is a good start, in my opinion.

Good luck.

"Another thing I just wanted to note is that some women can be easily turned off by those who try too hard. So it's always best to be casual and get to know the women when you first meet them rather than start giving out sexual vibes/interest in dating them etc. Showing interest in who they are and what they do is a good start, in my opinion."

Good advice LF. Never fawn on one and never come out telling them how beautiful/gorgeous they are...I'm sure they've heard that a million times and you're just another guy trying to get into their pants.

Treat them all the same, but if you fancy one, single her out and get to know her and then subtly turn on the charm. If you have a witty way about you, use it, it will go quite a ways...at least I was always told that, especially when one returned an interest in me.

Also, notice something about her that most guys wouldn't bother to comment on and pay a little compliment. (those compliments may be repeated back to you, once you start dating, and they will mention how those compliments made their day...from my own experience). I can go on and on, but you get the gist of it...don't act like every other guy who wants to get into their pants.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Okay, from the sounds of it, you want "beautiful and amazing" women. Lower your standards.

I'm sorry, but this is terrible and not helpful advice. It's like saying all pretty women can't be geeks or like smart men/be smart themselves.

I've met plenty of beautiful, amazing, smart women who like average looking, short men. So this is crap. The OP thinks that he's got terrible looks and is suicidal over it, and you're advising him to aim lower because of his looks?

 

[TheRealCallie]

Okay, from the sounds of it, you want "beautiful and amazing" women. Lower your standards.

I'm sorry, but this is terrible and not helpful advice. It's like saying all pretty women can't be geeks or like smart men/be smart themselves.

I've met plenty of beautiful, amazing, smart women who like average looking, short men. So this is crap. The OP thinks that he's got terrible looks and is suicidal over it, and you're advising him to aim lower because of his looks?

Omfg, read ALL of what I write instead of picking and choosing something that is completely out of context!
First of all, I don't believe ANYONE is ugly. Second, I said look at ALL females, not just the beautiful amazing ones. Third, that's true for anyone. I don't care if you are the hunchback of Notre Dame or Brad ******* Pitt, if you are only looking at beautiful girls, lower your ******* standards because looks can be deceiving. And I also said that you can't really know a girl is amazing from a few chance encounters.
As I said, read all of what we wrote instead of picking something like that from what I wrote!

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Okay, from the sounds of it, you want "beautiful and amazing" women. Lower your standards.

I'm sorry, but this is terrible and not helpful advice. It's like saying all pretty women can't be geeks or like smart men/be smart themselves.

I've met plenty of beautiful, amazing, smart women who like average looking, short men. So this is crap. The OP thinks that he's got terrible looks and is suicidal over it, and you're advising him to aim lower because of his looks?

Omfg, read ALL of what I write instead of picking and choosing something that is completely out of context!

What if he wants someone because they're attractive? Is he suddenly not allowed to go after someone like that because of the way he looks? What makes his desires and wants different from, say, Brad Pitt?

I just get tired of that every time a guy (including me, in the past) complains about not being able to attract women, he's advised to lower his standards. Why is it up to us? Why can't a girl/woman lower her standards for once?

And I'm not just bitching at you. I'm bitching at seeing the "lower the standards" coming from the female posters of pretty much every forum out there. Yes, his self esteem needs work, but "advice" like that does not help.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Go for whoever you like, but if you are getting no results, either change what you are doing or keep whining til you're blue in the face (no pun intended) because that is the definition of insanity. Beauty doesn't just reside on the outside of a person and I'm sorry, but if you pass over girls because of their looks, then you could be missing out on the love of your life.
I never once said, nor will I ever say that guys who aren't super model gorgeous can't be with super model gorgeous girls, because it's simply not true. The same goes for girls going after guys.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Go for whoever you like, but if you are getting no results, either change what you are doing or keep whining til you're blue in the face (no pun intended) because that is the definition of insanity. Beauty doesn't just reside on the outside of a person and I'm sorry, but if you pass over girls because of their looks, then you could be missing out on the love of your life.
I never once said, nor will I ever say that guys who aren't super model gorgeous can't be with super model gorgeous girls, because it's simply not true. The same goes for girls going after guys.

He needs to change his attitude, not his looks.

Yes, he can improve his body, but outside of seeing him in real life, and just going by his OP, the reason he doesn't have a girlfriend is because of his terrible attitude and low self esteem. Anybody can get a girlfriend if they actually believe they can, but a male model will have women avoiding him if he's got a crappy outlook on life.

I think he needs a good therapist, needs to make some good friends, and needs to work on his social circle instead of just improving his body. If he improves his life in other ways, along with his health, and believes that he's actually worth something, he could attract the kind of girl who would recognize that.

 

[Batman55]

I think he needs a good therapist, needs to make some good friends, and needs to work on his social circle instead of just improving his body. If he improves his life in other ways, along with his health, and believes that he's actually worth something, he could attract the kind of girl who would recognize that.

Introverted/anxious guys without a social circle can get women too, you know.

Who needs all the commitments that come with having a "network" of friends and acquaintances? Certainly not someone who can't tolerate distractions when they're just trying to do their own thing, because they're just wired that way.

But otherwise I agree, it's his attitude holding him back. Having no friends at all, of course, could be a legitimate detriment; but I think having even just 1 or 2, that wouldn't be a turn-off in most cases, eh?

 

[ardour]

Okay, from the sounds of it, you want "beautiful and amazing" women. Lower your standards.

I'm sorry, but this is terrible and not helpful advice. It's like saying all pretty women can't be geeks or like smart men/be smart themselves.

I've met plenty of beautiful, amazing, smart women who like average looking, short men. So this is crap. The OP thinks that he's got terrible looks and is suicidal over it, and you're advising him to aim lower because of his looks?

That doesn't make any sense. If the OP isn't prepared to compromise and consider women who aren't 'hot' goddesses, then why should women (in general) give him a chance?