Sometimes I can have lots of energy, manic energy, I'll be imagining impressing some people being funny etc. But in real social situations, I have no energy at all. I'm a Zombie. Nearly 24 never had a proper relationship......I can't feel my emotions, all I feel is a lurking anxiety because I know that they are there deep down, I feel them when sad music is playing and its very painful. I've tried anti-depressants and therapy a load of times. Yes I've tried 'lightning up' and 'getting my act together'. I've tried 'changing' for about 5 years. I exercise every day and eat right. My mum is also a messed up narcissist, who I feel nothing for but occasional severe hatred. I'm trying a new stragegy where I try and forgive her and love her because I know your relationships with your mother colour all others, but its hard. I know having a bad relationship with your mum can be especially damaging for a guy. I know this is coming out like some weird machine has written it but thats how I feel right now.