I'm lonesome and trying to look for love

[Guest]

I've been trying to date for over 10 years and I still got nobody to love me. I'm crying as I type this thread, I cry before and after I go to work, I cry because of my failures and years of rejections. I have these visions about my own death in less than 20 years away...not from suicide, not from drugs or alcohol, but from getting so lonely, you get ill. So ill, you can't get out of bed and you're saying your final goodbyes to your family as you lay dying. To make my matters even worse, I decided to give up on love because nobody wants me. They all hate me and want me dead!

 

[Guest]

i'm in the same boat... so how old are u? male or female? where are u from?

 

[keeper]

They all hate me and want me dead!

Are you sure everyone hates you? I think it isn't so, unless you start kicking everyone you see!!
Think about it. Good luck.

 

[joeynicdao]

I've been trying to date for over 10 years and I still got nobody to love me. I'm crying as I type this thread, I cry before and after I go to work, I cry because of my failures and years of rejections. I have these visions about my own death in less than 20 years away...not from suicide, not from drugs or alcohol, but from getting so lonely, you get ill. So ill, you can't get out of bed and you're saying your final goodbyes to your family as you lay dying. To make my matters even worse, I decided to give up on love because nobody wants me. They all hate me and want me dead!

I'm surprised that you haven't had success in love. I'm sure that there are plenty of people who would love to date you at the very least for your personality, for your heart, or because of shared interests, even if they aren't living in your neighborhood.

 

[Darren Allen]

To answer your question, I am a male, 23 years old, and now looking for another place to live. I don't like where I live now, because I was so isolated and I live alone.

 

[Guest]

To answer your question, I am a male, 23 years old, and now looking for another place to live. I don't like where I live now, because I was so isolated and I live alone.

i'm going down the same path u are going... i'm starting to isolate myself again from the world. it's all too painful. the only difference is that i'm 21. the truth about all of this is, personality doesn't matter, it's the looks that counts in this world. sad... but true.

 

[keeper]

i'm going down the same path u are going... i'm starting to isolate myself again from the world. it's all too painful. the only difference is that i'm 21. the truth about all of this is, personality doesn't matter, it's the looks that counts in this world. sad... but true.

The same thing is going on here. A few months ago I've started to isolate myself - not totally, to say the truth - because of a bad relationship which required a great everyday effort to carry on. When it came to the end it almost left me without any strength cause I gave everything I could. Fortunately I'm still alive and I can grow stronger. I'm no more 21 or 23, but some years older. Anyway I remember how it was when i was in your age and I must confess it wasn't that different to me.
Guest, I think that personality matters but it's only 50% and the rest is look, in my opinion. Maybe only power and wealth might compensate look - this is very true in my hometown but I thought that somewhere it would have to be different. This year I've got a great opportunity which I thought it could change my life: i can spend some months in another town but sadly I've found out that over there it's the same at all as here. Lacking in look, power, and wealth, I think I have to accept my actual condition. Maybe in some other place in this world there's somebody who isn't only looking for such things. I won't stop looking for a place where i can feel alright but I won't stop improving myself - that's what really counts, in my opinion.

 

[realandtruelove]

So. if eveyone is trying to date for years, and feels so lonely, I cannot understand why you all don't be active on this site, say if you're a M or F, post interesting topics, get to know each other more and get rid of the loneliness.

 

[sweetviki]

Looks is not the only thing that matters in a relationship. Yes it does help but in the end it comes down to how well you connect with a person. Yeah most people go for the more good looking people but in the end everyone just wants to find that one person that realy cares about them and they can truly relate to. You just have to not give up because once you believe you cant have love you will miss all the oportunities that might come along just keep trying put yourself out there, try online dating or going somewhere where there is a chance you will meat someone that has common interests

 

[keeper]

Sure, sweetviki, it isn't the only thing that matters in a relationship, but I can tell you that it's important. I've been connected to a woman which I really cared for and she could really trust me but it wasn't enough: we had a relationship for a while but she didn't like me so much and soon we splitted.
For some people looks etc. are more important than common interests etc. I've also met some people which choose a friend depending on his/her looks, fashion, family, etc. That's very mean I think, but over here the most part of ppl does it, and I must face it everyday.
I keep going on my path, and leave behind me all these things.

 

[sweetviki]

Yeah keeper but not all people are like that yes in todays society looks are put on a pedestal but that doesnt mean that what every person just cares about. There are people that are good looking but are still shy and insecure about other things just like people that are not so atractive. Bottom line is this: every individual wants to find someone that will accept them for who they are and for someone less atracktive it will be harder due to our society's views but its not impossible. I'm not ugly but I've had some bad relationships where all a guy sees is a peace of ass and it left me so insecure and wondering is that all I'm good for? what about my personality arent I someone that should be cared about more then just for the body? I'm trying to find that someone special for me that will apreciate me for who I am and I'm not having problems bc I'm unatractive but because I am and by society's rules supposed to be stupid and a sex object which I'm not. Which goes to show that every side has its problems its just that we dont see that and in the end it comes down to how you deal with your problems and handle things and thats what makes you a person that you are.

 

[Guest]

Keeper, if you don't mind me asking, where do you come from, out of sheer curiousity?

 

[keeper]

Bottom line is this: every individual wants to find someone that will accept them for who they are and for someone less atracktive it will be harder due to our society's views but its not impossible.

Yes, sweetviki, I agree with you. I'm one of those who accepts you for what you are, for example. Too many people don't, and this is what makes things harder.

 

[keeper]

Keeper, if you don't mind me asking, where do you come from, out of sheer curiousity?

Guest, I come from southern Italy: I spend here most part of the year, I spend the rest in another town in central Italy (it's the same at all, however).

 

[totallyexhausted]

hi there, i was the guest who posted the 2nd and 6th thread on here.

anyways, i think u are all correct. but i think there is a general consensus that looks is definitely one of the major qualities everyone looks for. and it goes for both males and females.

however, i'm just a little shocked that sweetviki is on the same boat with us, but with a totally different kind of story to tell than the rest of us.

 

[joeynicdao]

hi there, i was the guest who posted the 2nd and 6th thread on here.

anyways, i think u are all correct. but i think there is a general consensus that looks is definitely one of the major qualities everyone looks for. and it goes for both males and females.

however, i'm just a little shocked that sweetviki is on the same boat with us, but with a totally different kind of story to tell than the rest of us.

Having looks gets the attention but after that, security and confidence takes it farther.  A girl's not going to want a guy who takes drugs, lacks confidence or is negative, can't be himself, or lacks the sense of humor needed to laugh at one's own minor mistakes.  In many cases, people like it when they don't care what others will think of them and it allows them to be themselves.  I'm not the most confident guy but I've experienced enough to tell that if a girl can get passed my looks, my personality makes up for it and can end up being what they like about me.  I'm just trying to say don't count your chances over unless you try and don't overestimate how superficial or judgemental someone will be because that itself can backfire on you. Sometimes you just have to take care of yourself and let everything else take care of itself or in other words, sometimes you get someone when you're happy with life and aren't looking.

 

[keeper]

Having looks gets the attention but after that, security and confidence takes it farther.  A girl's not going to want a guy who takes drugs, lacks confidence or is negative, can't be himself, or lacks the sense of humor needed to laugh at one's own minor mistakes.  In many cases, people like it when they don't care what others will think of them and it allows them to be themselves.  I'm not the most confident guy but I've experienced enough to tell that if a girl can get passed my looks, my personality makes up for it and can end up being what they like about me.  I'm just trying to say don't count your chances over unless you try and don't overestimate how superficial or judgemental someone will be because that itself can backfire on you.  Sometimes you just have to take care of yourself and let everything else take care of itself or in other words, sometimes you get someone when you're happy with life and aren't looking.

Hi Joenicdao, basically I agree with you. I think that looks actually aren't the only thing that make a girl to want you.
Though, still I have to tell out of my experience that several times even when a girl liked my personality she rejected me because of my looks. Maybe I've met only superficial or judgemental persons.

 

[pacificpeeps]

Dear Freind,
When you are down, as hard is it may be. Put on your favorite funky song and make yourself dance. Laugh and lighten your very own load. Imagine who you would like to luagh with while you dance who is that person inside and out. Who fits you? Is that who you have been looking for. How are you behaving. Are you calm and confident or shy and scared. Fear holds us from acheiving our dreams, and making a stand for ourselves in our lives. Be one with yourself, Search your soul for the strength to dance through life. Like you do when you let go of your fear and shake it up in the comfort and safety of your own home. Let your self receive the love that sorrounds you. I know it is hard to see but it is there. People are crule but they are also kind. Search them for their kindness. Who are they to make you feel bad Or who are you to see bad in them. Look for live and find love..... Look for hate and it is all around. Just dance and when you are smiling remember how to get there....

 

[sonjie]

I cant find a suitable female partner these days, everybody is either a slut or a drunk. Maybe its just because i live in south jersey. I need to find a republican female with values and that can cook, i guess ill have to move down south to find a real woman. I am 21 years old, majoring in economics, looking for someone.....

 

[Guest]

yeah sometimes i feel the same way...the whole "i wish i had someone to love me."  but i learned thats not quite it...and when i reflect more deeply on it i realize what i really mean to say is "i wish i had a reason to love myself."  personally, the reason why i want someone to love me is because i want to be able to look at the mirror and say, "see...i'm a good person after all."  unfortunately i dont think that comes about by just finding someone who'll love me.  

i believe love is something that is given.  its something you give to others.  its something you give to yourself.  love isn't something that you find out there somewhere in the world.  it isn't something thats received or pumped into you when you're running on empty.  in order to feel love, you need to make love.  you feel love when you give a gift and see the happiness it causes.  you feel love when you serve breakfast in bed for your depressed friend and see the break of a smile on his/her face.  you feel love when you do something special for that special someone, even if its just surprising him/her with a picnic on the grass.

so i guess i wanted to point out that love isn't something thats found, it's given.  i think the mistake a lot of us make, including me, is that we think love is some good, happy feeling that someone has to give us.  but its not.  its something that we ourselves make through our actions of love.

everybody in the world is out looking for love.  i guess thats why nobody finds it.  theres no one to give it.