In hospital

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I'm sorry to hear about your father. I was in a hospital a couple of years back from a suspected seizure. The doctors and nurses were very nice but I felt very disconnected in there, it did give me time to reflect however. At the risk of sounding hypocritical (I'm not very good at helping myself), I hope you can find help with your situation soon.
At your age I had a nervous breakdown and I never thought I would exist 10 years from then, but I was wrong as I am here today. I hope you can feel better soon, try and remain hopeful.
 

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