Incompatible...

[Lonesome Crow]

Part of why I'm harsh: I work two jobs, with at least two significant profitmaking side projects while still trying to be a professional, competitive gamer and yet study to add to my skillset. I don't give a lot of patience for guys who don't do jack honeysuckle with their lives.

You'e harsh becuase you're just harsh N all backup.
You dont need to make fucken excuses,...

WTF????
Errr..her fiance just gose to work and play games...Dude

When he wants a piece of ass he wants a peice of ass.
Nothing she dose is good enough of him.
It's all about him...him...him
It's classic addicts behaviors....

Very impressive...man


Workalholic is also an addiction...lots of people live in denial of it.
Your living on TILT...man

Dude, you're a failure of a father, a husband, literally retarded and pimp out your own daughters. You amuse me with your babble and as an example of human trash, but make no mistake about what you are.

You say and assume so much honeysuckle....
So much bull honeysuckle gose spinning in your head it's fuckden rediculous.
All my daughters love me (this inclue my steps duaghters)...and they certainly wouldnt touch you with a ten foot pole...

I teach my daughters to stay away from sick abusive controlling men like you.

dickless, ball less little chineese man.
All your over achiving aint compensating for honeysuckle...
Grow the fresia up...I played vedio games when i was a kid too.

 

[Sci-Fi]

WHOA

That is enough out of both of you. You BOTH know there is NO name calling of other member on this forum.

Enjoy your time off, hopefully you'll come back and be more considerate towards each other, or simply put each other on your ignored list.

 

[Limlim]

Finally, I don't think it makes you materialistic for expecting a 30 year old man to have the sense of responsibility of an adult. And I don't think there is anything wrong for a person with an education to expect either education or ambition from their partner... personally I wouldn't have it any other way. I have no interest in unambitious people, and I could never have been in a relationship with someone who wasn't highly educated. It's not looking down on them, it's just simply expecting someone to be on the same (or similar) footing as you - and to be able to have an informed conversation with them about things that interest you.

I just think you're with the wrong person. :\

Having had this conversation with you before Barb, I know that when you say this you're specifically saying with regard to a major that you both took. An anthropology major isn't going to have much to talk about with an Electrical Engineer education wise

That said it still kinda irks me that it seems that someone is on higher footing due to this? What does that mean? I know it shouldn't bug me as much as it does, but I've been on both sides of a relationship where the other party has thought be better or worse than me due to having more or less education than them. Either way I ended up hating them for it.

Anyhow sorry to derail the thread like that.

Thread de-railer. :club:

No, it is not just about major, but shared fields of knowledge and areas of interest are important to me, and not everyone who shares that with me has the same major. It is also an issue of values.
And to me, equal footing does not mean higher footing. It means that someone with an equal level of knowledge/desire for knowledge to your own is often more suited for you than someone vastly different in either direction. Some people do think of education in terms of class/status, but I cannot help those people.

Stop being so insecure about it. I'm not sure why you care so much about some people's preferences for an educated partner - if you don't want a woman like that, don't date one.

mwahaha totally leaving this mess of quotes here to expand this tiny post.

its less insecurity and more seeing practiced results from it. I've been on the other end of it as well with my last girlfriend who was convinced she wasn't good enough for me. I practically tore my hair out trying to convince her otherwise and in the end it wasn't until she actually finished college that she accepted it.

this wasn't just motivation to excel, she was at the point of tears every night. I mean come on you've talked to me before, do I come off as a particularly intelligent individual? I ate play dough as a kid

 

[Barbaloot]

Finally, I don't think it makes you materialistic for expecting a 30 year old man to have the sense of responsibility of an adult. And I don't think there is anything wrong for a person with an education to expect either education or ambition from their partner... personally I wouldn't have it any other way. I have no interest in unambitious people, and I could never have been in a relationship with someone who wasn't highly educated. It's not looking down on them, it's just simply expecting someone to be on the same (or similar) footing as you - and to be able to have an informed conversation with them about things that interest you.

I just think you're with the wrong person. :\

Having had this conversation with you before Barb, I know that when you say this you're specifically saying with regard to a major that you both took. An anthropology major isn't going to have much to talk about with an Electrical Engineer education wise

That said it still kinda irks me that it seems that someone is on higher footing due to this? What does that mean? I know it shouldn't bug me as much as it does, but I've been on both sides of a relationship where the other party has thought be better or worse than me due to having more or less education than them. Either way I ended up hating them for it.

Anyhow sorry to derail the thread like that.

Thread de-railer. :club:

No, it is not just about major, but shared fields of knowledge and areas of interest are important to me, and not everyone who shares that with me has the same major. It is also an issue of values.
And to me, equal footing does not mean higher footing. It means that someone with an equal level of knowledge/desire for knowledge to your own is often more suited for you than someone vastly different in either direction. Some people do think of education in terms of class/status, but I cannot help those people.

Stop being so insecure about it. I'm not sure why you care so much about some people's preferences for an educated partner - if you don't want a woman like that, don't date one.

mwahaha totally leaving this mess of quotes here to expand this tiny post.

its less insecurity and more seeing practiced results from it. I've been on the other end of it as well with my last girlfriend who was convinced she wasn't good enough for me. I practically tore my hair out trying to convince her otherwise and in the end it wasn't until she actually finished college that she accepted it.

this wasn't just motivation to excel, she was at the point of tears every night. I mean come on you've talked to me before, do I come off as a particularly intelligent individual? I ate play dough as a kid

Well don't date crazy women either.


Now it's even longer.

 

[Limlim]

but she was a red head D: how am I supposed to resist that??

 

[EveWasFramed]

but she was a red head D: how am I supposed to resist that??

You should've replaced her with a brunette? Right, Barb?

 

[Barbaloot]

but she was a red head D: how am I supposed to resist that??

You should've replaced her with a brunette? Right, Barb?

Yep. You should listen to Eve, Limwald. :club:

 

[EveWasFramed]

Club him again. It makes my heart sing. (goo)

 

[Barbaloot]

:club::club::club: Lim.


That's what you get for de-railing this nice lady's thread.

 

[Limlim]

Oh I could have said so much there just now that woulda got me in honeysuckle.

See how I didn't do that? Just let that slide right there when it was so tempting. That's right, it's the new more mature Limlim.

... Boobies!

 

[Millarca]

LOL. It's okay about the derailing. Everybody has given me such wonderful advice.

And I plan to respond once I get back from the stoooooore!

 

[Trent]

reading the initial post makes me want to shoot myself in the head

only because it reminds me of how ******* god-awful miserable i was in my last relationship

 

[Millarca]

I havent seen anyone as this yet (and sorry if they have and I didnt see it) but....

Is he pretty much into the same things now as he was when you got together?

I think so.

I suppose it's just ... before I moved in with him, I had my own job, I was in school, and I generally felt that I was on the right track. I moved in with him after losing a job and being kicked out of my home. His was the only place I had to go. So I guess... he had the hobbies early in the relationship, but I did
not notice them so much because I had so much going on in my life and we didn't live together.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I havent seen anyone as this yet (and sorry if they have and I didnt see it) but....

Is he pretty much into the same things now as he was when you got together?

I think so.

I suppose it's just ... before I moved in with him, I had my own job, I was in school, and I generally felt that I was on the right track. I moved in with him after losing a job and being kicked out of my home. His was the only place I had to go. So I guess... he had the hobbies early in the relationship, but I did
not notice them so much because I had so much going on in my life and we didn't live together.

Then it's not really HIM that's change - it's your own circumstances.
I'm not suggesting there is a right or a wrong, but perhaps examining your (what appears to be) toxic thoughts about where your life has gone since the job loss, etc might be in order.
Is there a chance that he is picking up on how you feel and doesn't want to be around you because of it? Sometimes, we get wrapped up in our own misery and don't stop to think about how those around us react to the way we feel and act. Just something to think about I suppose.

 

[Millarca]

Those are all very good points, all ones that I hadn't previously considered.

No, he's not a big fan of me when I'm moping, which is almost all of the time. But I feel like I can't help it. I'm in his house, that I hate. I see his broken-down car outside of that house I hate. So I feel like it's HIS fault and that he needs to do something to fix it. I'm not used to living this way. I've never been rich, but I've also never been close to anyone so uninspired in my life. So what I haven't had in money, I (or my parents) made up for in hard work. Instead of going into the other room, I feel he should be trying to seek a better life, not really for me, but for himself - for us. I tell him all the time that I could never bring children into this situation, and he's expressed that he really wants to have children, that if I got pregnant today, he'd be happy about that.

My children deserve better than this. All he ever says is "I'd make it work." I need something more concrete than that, like seeing him make it work THEN by taking proactive steps NOW.

These are all things he could change (the house, the car, the job), and that he doesn't even TRY to change them, even after many talks I have had with him, just makes me so sad.

I think my thoughts about my own life ARE toxic, I agree. They especially hurt because, at the moment, I cannot afford continued treatment for my depression. Thus, I feel this sadness so deeply.

But I look at him and prefer dissatisfaction and my harsh thoughts about myself and my life over complacency like his.

---

Also, I have to say:

You guys have been so helpful to me. I have posted on boards before, and I watch for days as the thread just sits there.

So, really, thank you ALL.

 

[Redtulips7]

you are in the selfish kind of Relationship, its better off break up before your partner does,atleast you will have upper hand..It will hurt but remember its better get hurt now than later when it will feels ten times worster!!!!

No dam relationship worth the Stress......
you have tried but didn't work and mostlikely will not work...so fuc*t it.
you can't changed the person so why bother..just change yourself

 

[EveWasFramed]

Those are all very good points, all ones that I hadn't previously considered.

No, he's not a big fan of me when I'm moping, which is almost all of the time. But I feel like I can't help it. I'm in his house, that I hate. I see his broken-down car outside of that house I hate. So I feel like it's HIS fault and that he needs to do something to fix it. I'm not used to living this way. I've never been rich, but I've also never been close to anyone so uninspired in my life. So what I haven't had in money, I (or my parents) made up for in hard work. Instead of going into the other room, I feel he should be trying to seek a better life, not really for me, but for himself - for us. I tell him all the time that I could never bring children into this situation, and he's expressed that he really wants to have children, that if I got pregnant today, he'd be happy about that.

My children deserve better than this. All he ever says is "I'd make it work." I need something more concrete than that, like seeing him make it work THEN by taking proactive steps NOW.

These are all things he could change (the house, the car, the job), and that he doesn't even TRY to change them, even after many talks I have had with him, just makes me so sad.

I think my thoughts about my own life ARE toxic, I agree. They especially hurt because, at the moment, I cannot afford continued treatment for my depression. Thus, I feel this sadness so deeply.

But I look at him and prefer dissatisfaction and my harsh thoughts about myself and my life over complacency like his.

---

Also, I have to say:

You guys have been so helpful to me. I have posted on boards before, and I watch for days as the thread just sits there.

So, really, thank you ALL.

---

You do have reasons for concern - I fully agree. However, you can't expect a person to change to suit you. Sure, maybe a few very minor things, but we're talking someone's basic personality.
It seems that you've tied yourself to someone that you aren't compatible with. But, don't take it out on him. Do what you need to do and move on. Work twice as hard to find employment and end the relationship. I think between his personality and your desire for "more" the relationship has no future.
Good luck to you.

 

[ladyforsaken]

You do have reasons for concern - I fully agree. However, you can't expect a person to change to suit you. Sure, maybe a few very minor things, but we're talking someone's basic personality.
It seems that you've tied yourself to someone that you aren't compatible with. But, don't take it out on him. Do what you need to do and move on. Work twice as hard to find employment and end the relationship. I think between his personality and your desire for "more" the relationship has no future.
Good luck to you.

Millarca, I couldn't agree more with what Eve said. Do what is best for you now. It'll be the best for him too.

 

[VanillaCreme]

You do have reasons for concern - I fully agree. However, you can't expect a person to change to suit you. Sure, maybe a few very minor things, but we're talking someone's basic personality.
It seems that you've tied yourself to someone that you aren't compatible with. But, don't take it out on him. Do what you need to do and move on. Work twice as hard to find employment and end the relationship. I think between his personality and your desire for "more" the relationship has no future.
Good luck to you.

Millarca, I couldn't agree more with what Eve said. Do what is best for you now. It'll be the best for him too.

I also agree with this. For the simple fact that you've expressed that you're disappointed in him, is why I would say you should sit back and really look at him. He is who he is, regardless of anything that you do or don't do. If you weren't there, he'd still do the same things. Changing someone to accommodate for what you want out of things just doesn't work. If you've already told him that you're wanting more out of it, and he's just not getting it, then there's nothing you could do to make him realize.