Intelligence and loneliness

[Locke]

Dislike the other reply, sadly... sensing too much hostility.

I meant no hostility, I gave my opinion based on what I know of you. I do not intend to treat you any differently than how I treat anyone else.

 

[Lady Gaga Snerd]

You aren't " unusual". Sorry but every one of us is s very special snowflake.
In my experience truly smart or brilliant people don't go out of their way tell people.
But if you are that's great but you need to learn to put people at ease or you will come across as smug.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Everyone stuck in his or her own life, unable to see the big picture. I *can* see this big picture...

You see your own "big picture." Everyone does. Everyone is different.

Eventually we'll outgrow all of our 'problems' and we will be at peace with ourselves, each other, other animals, the planet, and everything, really. I know this, because this calmness is already inside me. It's the result of years of thought and experience, but it's there and undeniably true. If I can feel it, we all can (and will, eventually).

We learn from our past. If the past tells us anything, it's that people will ALWAYS hurt and destroy one another. You are expressing an opinion - you can't see the future.

Every day I search the fields for others like me, people who have looked deep inside themselves and found the fundamental truth, but I have yet to find someone.

Perhaps your "fundamental truth" isn't anyone else's "truth?"
"Enlightenment" is subjective.

I have tried to help people cross the river, but without success. Perhaps one can only cross alone.

Some people don't think they need "help" and others don't want it. Some may just not want your brand of help, whatever that may be. Perhaps that's why you've had no success?

I need you all, to love, to live, to share, to give.
If you have the courage to look deep inside yourself and find out what you really want, I believe you'll find much of the same thing.

You seem to have very rigid notions of what's acceptable to you (based on your posts). It seems to be somewhat of an intolerant attitude toward those who are different than you. Perhaps that's why you have such trouble connecting with others? I don't think intelligence is what hinders you at all, to be honest - it's how you present yourself and your opinions.
Food for thought maybe?

 

[Superman]

smug, rigid, intolerant... *sigh*

"I don't think intelligence is what hinders you at all, to be honest - it's how you present yourself and your opinions."
-> these two are very connected though. Correctly translating my thoughts into words has been a lifelong struggle for me (see the mention of an Alien-Human dictionary), but that's because my thoughts go way too fast for the words to follow. Mostly whenever a situation presents itself, I immediately have a gut feeling. This feeling is not the same as the one a normal person has, as somehow my feelings are entwined with logic. I often can't correctly explain why I agree or disagree with a statement, but my feeling is almost always right. Proof of this (albeit proof you all can't see) is found in my excellent decision-making in my life. I am often able to predict how situations are going to go, bordering on having a crystal ball. Yeah, this is also explained poorly, apologies.

 

[EveWasFramed]

smug, rigid, intolerant... *sigh*

"I don't think intelligence is what hinders you at all, to be honest - it's how you present yourself and your opinions."
-> these two are very connected though. Correctly translating my thoughts into words has been a lifelong struggle for me (see the mention of an Alien-Human dictionary), but that's because my thoughts go way too fast for the words to follow. Mostly whenever a situation presents itself, I immediately have a gut feeling. This feeling is not the same as the one a normal person has, as somehow my feelings are entwined with logic. I often can't correctly explain why I agree or disagree with a statement, but my feeling is almost always right. Proof of this (albeit proof you all can't see) is found in my excellent decision-making in my life. I am often able to predict how situations are going to go, bordering on having a crystal ball. Yeah, this is also explained poorly, apologies.

Following your explanation here, it's not your intelligence that hinders you, it's your lack of ability to express what you're thinking.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Going by your last statement, I don't know whether you are logical or not, because you make no rational sense.

If you aren't coming off as smug and trying to be higher than everyone else, why did you say that? Or did you type nonsense, and think it was something different?

I'm just trying to figure out what you mean, because your last post, and your earlier posts, don't match up.

 

[Superman]

It's what I said, my words don't do justice to the thoughts in my head. I know instinctively why things are right or wrong, but often have trouble explaining it. Sometimes I can recreate my train of thought that led to the 'gut feeling' I mentioned, but most of the time I don't bother trying, as it doesn't matter. I've learned to trust my instincts, as the decisions I make following these feelings have had a very high success rate.

It's definitely the most difficult to explain, this combination of logic and feeling. I believe this is the very core of my affliction, and have never met anyone who combines the two in this way. They are almost always in harmony. When my gut feeling tells me something, it's something that is built with logic. When I present a logical argument, it's a feeling I have. I deal with very intense emotions in a rational way.

Again, my goal is not to convince you all that I am smart. I'm looking for something, someone. A message in a bottle for those people that want to read messages in bottles.

 

[Solivagant]

However, I'm not really in the business of putting people at ease, dancing around sensitive topics... That's not what I want to use my precious time for. If someone concludes I'm arrogant or delusional after a single post, it was likely that this person isn't one I'm looking for anyway, as the act of 'jumping to conclusions' depresses me. I have plenty of people in my life already who do that. I'm looking for people who *don't* do this, and because of that it doesn't seem to matter how delicately I present my problem. I like to be positive and give people a real chance, and this is a trait that the people I want to find have to share.

Did I put that clearly? I'm still waiting for my Alien-Human dictionary, so forgive me if I messed it up again. Know that I come in peace <3

It depresses me when people jump to conclusions too.

Yes, you are clear. And that is okay, as long you can accept the consequences. That attitude and course of action are likely to result in further isolation. Why should anyone care about what you have to say if you seem not to care about how you make them feel? You truly might care, but if you don't show you care, then it won't make any difference how much you care inside.

It's not so much dancing around as being considerate, tactful, and understanding cause and effect. People have needs, and people need reasons, incentive to engage. If you want relationships with others, it's actually up to you to treat them in a manner that invites them to open up and share with you. That's what I meant when I said that human nature will not accommodate you. If someone's not comfortable talking to you, your relationship can't reach a deeper level. So if you're not willing to help others feel comfortable with you, then it doesn't sound much like you are giving them a real chance.

 

[EveWasFramed]

However, I'm not really in the business of putting people at ease, dancing around sensitive topics... That's not what I want to use my precious time for. If someone concludes I'm arrogant or delusional after a single post, it was likely that this person isn't one I'm looking for anyway, as the act of 'jumping to conclusions' depresses me. I have plenty of people in my life already who do that. I'm looking for people who *don't* do this, and because of that it doesn't seem to matter how delicately I present my problem. I like to be positive and give people a real chance, and this is a trait that the people I want to find have to share.

Did I put that clearly? I'm still waiting for my Alien-Human dictionary, so forgive me if I messed it up again. Know that I come in peace <3

It depresses me when people jump to conclusions too.

Yes, you are clear. And that is okay, as long you can accept the consequences. That attitude and course of action are likely to result in further isolation. Why should anyone care about what you have to say if you seem not to care about how you make them feel? You truly might care, but if you don't show you care, then it won't make any difference how much you care inside.

It's not so much dancing around as being considerate, tactful, and understanding cause and effect. People have needs, and people need reasons, incentive to engage. If you want relationships with others, it's actually up to you to treat them in a manner that invites them to open up and share with you. That's what I meant when I said that human nature will not accommodate you. If someone's not comfortable talking to you, your relationship can't reach a deeper level. So if you're not willing to help others feel comfortable with you, then it doesn't sound much like you are giving them a real chance.

+1

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

You are not so complicated. You need to stop thinking that way.

 

[Superman]

Human nature will not accommodate me, but Alien nature would. You know, Aliens like me, the people I'm looking for

Don't worry, I'm actually very good at accepting the consequences of my actions. This way of interacting with others is only the result of a lifelong evolution, and I believe this to be a positive one, in the sense that I like the way I act now way better than the way I used to do it. I'm looking for something special, something worth millions of wrongfully drawn conclusions.

 

[Lippy_Kid]

I think you should consider the wisdom behind the Socratic paradox "I know that I know nothing".

Besides the obvious answer of food/shelter/..., I have established a person needs to be connected to other people, if he or she wants to be happy. The stronger this connection, or the more people you are connected to, the better. Going back to my personal situation: When I was alone in my room all those years, I was completely disconnected and 100 percent alone. In a way nothing has changed.

In my view, in the above quote from your OP, you've affirmed this paradox. The benefit of connection with other people is to provide yourself the basis to learn and question, but not just their views or faults but also your own. It is true that to spend so many of your formative years on your own is not ideal, as this is when you build a view of the world and without the means to express that and test it out it, can become very set in stone. Personally I see setting any view as rigid is not productive, any view can only ever be your view and no truth is absolute. Even some of the most fundamental things we thought we knew, and what we once thought as being without question have transpired to be wrong. The world being flat, the sun being a god, the universe being static rather than flying apart at an increasing rate. The reason these fundamental truths were proven wrong was wiser men than us chose not to believe them to be unmovable truths but to look again, and see in fact something wholly different was occurring.

Of course sometimes we have to trust and act on our views as its all we have but its about being open minded and open to criticism and listening and considering and re-evaluating that gives you the best chance of making a 'smart' decision. To me you seem to be very entrenched in your view of the world as being one way and the right way and that others cannot see it your way because they lack the intelligence to do so. Intelligence and knowledge are two separate concepts however and if you are as intelligent as you believe, that simply means that you have the capacity or potential to learn. What's going around in your mind continually as you describe is your brain whirling around demanding knowledge and stimulus but, perhaps because of your isolation you lack the means to understand how to relate to others and develop a more objective view of your own knowledge and views. I think this was something Eve was touching on when she was picking apart your posts and effectively saying "this is your view, others will differ" It might feel right from your perspective but that doesn't make your whole world view empirically "right" as often there is no "right" there is only a number of views or possibilities.

Anyway where am I going with this..Well I would say, start again and meet people and do not presume to know anything, just listen and learn and maybe try to force yourself to look at your views from a different perspective, even if at first they don't seem to make much sense, just play them out. A world view, so devoid of human contact needs to be revisited, be given room for error and flexibility and you need to understand what makes people tick. For example telling people you are smarter than most of them will rub people up the wrong way and limit your contact with them and you will have seen that in this thread. Back yourself and consider yourself smart enough to listen and question what’s being discussed sure, but maybe avoid declaring your freakish intelligence to the world and let others come to that conclusion rather than insisting on it. That’s called tact and that’s the sort of emotional intelligence you talk of that can only come from experience which is where 99% of our wisdom must come from.

 

[Alienated]

I agree with much that has been said here, as advise. I would just like to add a couple of small facts that might help, sense you have such a HIGH intellect, you should easily discern these things.

Nerds get their ass kicked allot !! If you would like to impress people ( Don't insult their intelligence )

Knowledge, intellect, and WISDOM are all totally different .... You can be a smart as Einstein, and still be as stupid as a tree !! If I may quote Einstein ? He gave the definition of INSANITY : Doing the same thing over and over and over again, BUT, each time expecting a different result.

And I would also like to quote King David : The first to present his case seems right, till another comes forward and questions him.” and also...
Even a stubborn fool is thought to be wise if he keeps silent. He is considered intelligent if he keeps his lips sealed. Also
Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but whoever hates correction is stupid.

So might I suggest a few things ?? Get wise....Your method of presenting you case, will get your ass kicked !! Weather your right or wrong is irrelevant at that point, isn't it ? So would you rather be right, or rather be happy ?

So I would strongly advise you read over the advice given, and learn from it. Because as you can see... you aren't very well appreciated Oh smart one !! But it is difficult to fill a cup which is already full !!

So if you want to be wise.... I suggest you learn how to learn from your mistakes... And NOT believe you have the world at your mercy.... Because you grabbed a tiger by the tail my friend, and that is NOT wise.

And Superman is a comic book character... Do not be self deluted ... The original one The actor who portrayed Superman on television in the 1950s believed he had acquired the character's super powers and accidentally killed himself ..... And another broke his neck riding a horse.... And amazingly enough they both had the same name ??? Reeves... but neither one was super, were they ??

 

[Superman]

Thanks for the replies, guys. I must confess that usually I get bored quickly with discussions like this, however enough things have been said that later today I will take the time to try and formulate an accurate response. I have been impressed by several arguments, most of which would have been really helpful at other times in my life.

 

[Alienated]

Well look at this way... If you want to wow us with your wisdom, by claiming your super intellect..... Help other people, and not yourself.

 

[Superman]

There are several things going on here, in order to try and keep things simple I will handle them separately.

1. The message in a bottle

This is about the intent of my post. It was never my intention to 'wow you with my intellect', to declare myself superior or anything of the sort. I'm not looking for advice or analysis of the specific words I used. I don't need you to dissect my problem and point out the mistakes in my reasoning (as there aren't any! just kidding). My post was intended as a beacon, a message in a bottle for others like myself to stumble upon one day. They would definitely not be offended by me saying I'm exceptionally smart, as it's one of the keywords that needs to be in the message in order to maximize the chances of said people actually reading it. For instance, I've googled the phrase 'gifted but lonely'. I imagine if there is someone out there like me, they could very well do the same. If I don't mention 'gifted' in my post, how would they ever find it (and me)?

2. Conclusions drawn about my mental state and character

It seems not only was the intent of my post misunderstood, but several wrong conclusions were drawn from it concerning who I am and how I treat people. Don't you think one post (and not even an offensive one!) is too small a sample size to categorize someone as 'arrogant' or as anything, really? I get called out for being rigid and for my supposed lack of open-mindedness but you have me all figured out from this one paragraph I wrote? I'm completely harmless and innocent, like a child really. I have never in my life purposefully hurt someone. When you jump to conclusions like this and sling derogatory adjectives my way, it hurts me and depresses me. Which is fine, I have both anticipated and accepted this as a possible (and likely) consequence of my decision to post the story. But I say it so you know. The only one of the adjectives that actually fits me is 'misunderstood'.

3. Socrates

The Socratic mantra of "The only thing I know is that I know nothing" has actually been really prominent in my life. It was one of the ways in which I learned that I was smarter than other people (from a very young age), in the sense that people were always claiming things to be absolutely true and I knew they could never know this for sure. I have however since pretty much abandoned using this principle in everyday life since I found to be quite impractical. I'll try to explain: If I fall down the stairs, I will get hurt. Of course I don't know this for sure, and there's a chance I won't get hurt. But when it comes to decision-making, it saves time just to add the consequence 'I will get hurt' to the action 'falling down the stairs' because that's what's most likely to happen. This system of probability is one I use in all my decisions. I will think about all of the possible options and then decide on the course that I believe has the best chance of a good outcome.

Now, when it comes to my world view, there has been a similar evolution. I used to be completely open-minded, and if you dig deep enough, I still am. It's just that my theories have been proven right enough times that I can safely say they are universally true, in the sense that they are very likely to be (same principle as my example above). Does that mean that I am rigid? Absolutely not. If you present an alternate theory, or a rational argument disproving mine, I will always listen. If I think you have a point, I have no problem whatsoever with a modifying my theory or even abandoning it. This just doesn't happen very often. Keep in mind, I've spent half my lifetime on something most people just don't have time for, if you have an argument that isn't completely original chances are that I've read about it, heard about it, and tried to understand it several times already. If it was a good one (like the Socrates thing) it already has a place within my way of thinking.

4. Superman

If you haven't seen the movie The Iron Giant, I can't recommend it highly enough. It's the origin of my nickname, and what this means has also been misunderstood. Basically it comes down to this: Being Superman is choosing to do the right thing, transcending your nature or original purpose, to become something better than yourself. When you think about it in this sense, the world can't have enough Supermen, right? People that each day aspire to be someone better than they were yesterday? I'm no hero, but I could be one day. All that matters is how you see yourself. If this form of confidence in myself is again mistaken for arrogance, so be it!

Phew! I think I'm going to leave it at that for now. Again, thanks for the feedback.

 

[Peaches]

The more I carry on living, the more I notice that a surprising amount of people are pretty smart.... At 19, I was also looking for the club of kindred souls, and I found it for a few years, only they were all jerks, but, oh, so intelligent. We are talking future famous writers, famous inventors, or really greatly intelligent future alcoholic and morphine-addict bums. Hanging out with them was heaven, so much spark, wisdom, ideas, connection, but emotionally, they were all cripples. I am sure I wasn't as smart as them, but thankfully not as crippled either. At some point I realized how unhappy I was and they were, and I went on my way to look for caring people who valued happiness over self-validation. I just felt like sharing this.

Actually, Superman, I know very well what you mean with your search, but unfortunately those people you are looking for (and by the way, the politically correct way of saying that is "people similar to me", not "people way smarter than most', even if that is what you are looking for, otherwise you are calling everyone else dumb) are rarely on forums like this, because (and I swear I had the doubtful advantage to know many of them) they are usually too centered on how great they are or how great they should be to seek for help or to send messages in a bottle. So, I think your message is a huge step into building a happier life for yourself, because honestly highly developed intellectual intelligence is a great handicap for happiness - I read only now that your psychologist said the same thing, funny, also my therapist back in those years mentioned that - but one can always develop other sides. I am sure your other sides are very interesting Have you come across the book "Emotional Intelligence"?
And I am sure you will meet other highly intellectually developed people, but what you seem to want is an emotional connection with them as well, and it is very very very rare to find very smart people who are also humane and humble, ready to give up on the fact that they are so smart and not instead prone to sacrifice everything else or everyone else that/who challenges their superior qualities and higher-quality assumptions, and believe me, I know what I am talking about. And that is actually a sign of limitation, great minds of all time never considered themselves on a higher plane than others, different, yes, but not superior.

The difficulty is the same for all of us, we are all pretty different and it is difficult to find the right match for our neuroses/special gifts. In this sense, your plight is the same as the common man (and woman, that's me).
Anyway, you sound like a good person, I don't think you need to wait for the Aliens to find some good company

Supermen, I like the David Bowie version, and recommend the original track from 1970.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

You're repeating the same thing over and over again, and still not getting it. It's clear you will never, despite how "intelligent" you think you are.

People are smart in different ways. I'm a writer and musician. A guy on here wrote a couple books, and has them published. Many of us on here are intelligent.

But I've discovered that, say, pro athletes can be very smart, because it takes some intelligence to take care of your own body. Me, I eat whatever I want, and I'm out of shape...perhaps I'm not that intelligent?

There is a difference between being book smart, and being socially smart.

 

[African_weasel]

People tell me that I have a smart mouth and want to punch it all the time. That and being a smart ass.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I've actually discovered that it is the intelligent that are more prone to being lonely, because we can't relate socially to the dumber people.

errr....lol, that kind of suggests that people who aren't lonely are dumb. Also, suggesting "intelligent people" can't relate to "dumber people".... just doesn't seem accurate to me.
And referring to people as "dumb" because you think they are less intelligent than you are just doesn't seem right to me. Calling someone "dumb" is really an insult.