internet hopes...

[michelangelo]

(If you've ever done internet dating, maybe you can relate.)

You talked with someone online, sometimes for a month or more, and you got along really well. You know the feeling...you get a smile on your face every time you get an email. You finally setup a meet-n-greet,,,or an actual date, and there's nothing.
There's no sparks...no chemistry... the person that seemed so 'into' you online, seems distant or just uninterested??
Afterwards, the emails fade away...and the 'hope' of them being 'the one' is lost.

Is it too much to expect on a first date? to have sparks or instant chemistry? To look into that person's eyes and see wonderment and truly sense their reaction? Is 'love at first sight' just a pipe dream???

 

[Naleena]

Is it too much to expect on a first date? to have sparks or instant chemistry? To look into that person's eyes and see wonderment and truly sense their reaction? Is 'love at first sight' just a pipe dream???

No, it's not too much to expect but, keep in mind that it is the exception and not the rule : ) The seed of disappointment is expectation. Try not to expect anything and be pleasantly surprised.

 

[jales]

Hmm,

this never happened to me.

I guess you have to start asking questions about them to know if you will get sparks
If girls who laugh a lot give you sparks say 'do you laugh a lot?'

but im not sure..just an idea

 

[SadRabbit]

Hummm...Rule number 1: Never Internet date. Rule number 2: When you date, always date to fail. But don't worry, thinks will get much better =)

 

[Steel]

(If you've ever done internet dating, maybe you can relate.)

You talked with someone online, sometimes for a month or more, and you got along really well. You know the feeling...you get a smile on your face every time you get an email. You finally setup a meet-n-greet,,,or an actual date, and there's nothing.
There's no sparks...no chemistry... the person that seemed so 'into' you online, seems distant or just uninterested??
Afterwards, the emails fade away...and the 'hope' of them being 'the one' is lost.

Is it too much to expect on a first date? to have sparks or instant chemistry? To look into that person's eyes and see wonderment and truly sense their reaction? Is 'love at first sight' just a pipe dream???

I have only met someone online and then in real life once before. Obviously, I am basing this post on that situation, I have no idea how representitive it is.

When I did meet her in person, the spark was definately there - neither of us had misrepresented ourselves in anyway, so there were few surprises to be had. She was the person I expected her to be, and vice versa.

I don't think that internet dating is that much different to dating in real life to be honest. As Naleena has already stated, too many people have too great an expectation when first meeting someone, and this is something that can cause disappointment. Try to go with the current rather than against it, and its a much simpler boat journey.

 

[Akira]

(If you've ever done internet dating, maybe you can relate.)

You talked with someone online, sometimes for a month or more, and you got along really well. You know the feeling...you get a smile on your face every time you get an email. You finally setup a meet-n-greet,,,or an actual date, and there's nothing.
There's no sparks...no chemistry... the person that seemed so 'into' you online, seems distant or just uninterested??
Afterwards, the emails fade away...and the 'hope' of them being 'the one' is lost.

I see that the post was written some time ago already, but I’ll answer it anyway and hope you feel someone understands if you haven’t gotten that feeling already 
I have some experience with internet dating, and the scenario you described happened to me once. I was chatting with this guy that was studying Scotland for his masters and we got along well over the internet. We used to send each other long mails everyday, and chat once in a while. We understood each other perfectly and gave each other advice when we had problems. After a year or so we decided to meet, so we did… you would have thought he was the inverse of the person I had written mails to for a whole year… we didn’t click very well together. He didn’t smile much, he didn’t start conversations and he didn’t really understand my opinions (and I didn’t understand his either…), and he wasn’t keen on wanting to do anything (going for a movie, bowling, pool, café etc.)… so we ended up just walking around… and not talking much…. He was mostly looking at the ground… Don’t get me wrong, he was nice and polite, but he was not the same interesting and eager guy I though he was.

I guess some people are just better at expressing themselves when they are sitting in front of their computer or writing text messages. Probably they feel they can be themselves when they have the security to not be seen ( and maybe not be found?) and have the time to think about what to say or write. That goes for both genders.

After this meet-n-greet we wrote a few more letters, and then we only chat once a blue moon.

But I can tell you that from the people I have meet in real life after I have written emails or chat with them for a while, there has only been one case where the person was a total mismatch. The others have been somewhat how I had thought they would be when I was talking to them on the internet. If you’re lucky you’ll find someone that still have some (good) surprises after you meet in real life.

 

[eh?]

I would probably be the one that disappoints.

I can hold my own on the internets.
In real life, I am quiet, non-emotional and slow to react.

The person I am on the internets is closer to the real me though.

 

[Brian]

Bud, I can relate 100%. Except I flew to another city to meet the girl I'd been talking to forever and was basically met with a wall of silence.

The trouble stems from the mechanics of human communication. Body language, tone of voice, and facial expression are such a huge, integral part of how we interact and communicate to one another, and you can't get that online. That, and people are way more open online due to the anonymity and the delay in conversation intervals. You have time to think about what to say.

So when you meet in person, it's...awkward.

I think it's important in Internet dating for two people to communicate online minimally. Confirm the other person is not a creep, but meet in person -just for coffee or something- ASAP, so that your early interaction has full effect and you are comfortable with each other. Otherwise, the odds are against both of you.

 

[SunWeb]

(If you've ever done internet dating, maybe you can relate.)

You talked with someone online, sometimes for a month or more, and you got along really well. You know the feeling...you get a smile on your face every time you get an email. You finally setup a meet-n-greet,,,or an actual date, and there's nothing.
There's no sparks...no chemistry... the person that seemed so 'into' you online, seems distant or just uninterested??
Afterwards, the emails fade away...and the 'hope' of them being 'the one' is lost.

Is it too much to expect on a first date? to have sparks or instant chemistry? To look into that person's eyes and see wonderment and truly sense their reaction? Is 'love at first sight' just a pipe dream???

Not much, it just like on EVERY other type of dating. Chemistry on the net is something extraordinary )))) Everything will be clear on the first minute of personal meeting. It is the rule. If he/she will still date with you it would be ONLY cuz of politeness, hope, desperate.

Almost ALL ONLINE DATES ARE FAIL from the beginning. Everything will be decided on the first real meeting.