Is my talent to fail?

[Igotnoname]

I was always alone, had only a few friends that left me...now I got only 1 who is going for 3 years away for work. I had also this other friend who no longer cares about me just because I am not smart enough to get higher education which is the other problem I have.

I tried but the schools wont accept me so I guess im stupid ..even my family tells me so. I live in Slovakia and to find a work here is a pain in the ass even with the highest possible education. The unemployment rate is 14% and the area where I live got only like 300 jobs, some jobs are 75 km away :x

Im 20 and had only 1 girlfriend but after 2 years she found someone who is what ill never be able to be, tall, handsome with goood paying job. Women never showed interest in me so I guess I was lucky and should be happy to at least had that relationship.

Im underweight even if I eat as much as possible but the other day when I check my weight its still the same Even tried medications. Im 5 7 tall got ugly face and bad eyes so I have to wear glasses ..very bad vision so I cant have a driving licence.I wont even mention my other health problems as Im already feeling like im writing a book

Had depressions for too long but Im out of it already, was suicidal for a few years and now I no longer care cause if I would think about everything I would die of heartattack

My family is small, im totally different than my parents, we got nothing in common at all so we rarely talk to each other.They even told me once that if I want to die I should go and die, they said they dont care Xq

Im the only christian in my family which is why I didnt kill my self as it is considered as murder. Well at least that helped me not to end it cause I was close many times and professionals didnt help.

The meaning of my life was to find a woman thatll love me for me and some ok job as I never cared too much about money. Now its just the 2 hours long training of Iaido {martial art with katana} during sundays.

Im sorry for my english and the long text. I just had to write it down somewhere so please no hate

 

[Ashariel]

Hello! I'm sorry you've struggled with so much, at such a young age... I could relate to a lot of the feelings you wrote about. My 20's were absolutely awful for me too.

But you seem like a really strong person, to hold onto your faith, and keep on keeping on, even in times when you can see little hope ahead. (That also describes my life very well!) I truly hope that good things will be ahead for you. You certainly deserve it!

In the meantime, welcome to the forums... You're in good company here! *hugs*

 

[DVEUS]

welcome...you're among friends here...keep your chin up...

 

[fuzzybutt]

I have some advice I can offer:
The reasons you stated on why your girlfriend left you are very materialistic and girls like that are not worth it. Yea it's important to have a job to sustain some income but are relationships built on jobs? No.

You said you are Christian. If you don't already attend church, I suggest joining one to meet people.

Your meaning of life means that you rely on other people for your happiness. Only you can make yourself happy.

 

[Copacel]

not sure how to break it to you no your talented in anything.. failure doesn't require work just incompetence and bad luck

 

[Glowgirl]

Igotnoname, I feel so sorry for you that your parents told you they wouldn't care if you died. That's awful! But it reflects on them and not on you. I know it sounds trite to say that suffering can make people stronger, but when you have a spiritual belief you have one advantage others don't, and that is to be able to see things from a perspective beyond the sometimes narrow one that we have on earth. You are being tested more than the people around you who may seem to have it easy, but remember what comes out the other end may well be a more sensitive, more compassionate and stronger soul. I'm sure there are passages in the bible about this.

Have you considered moving away to get employment?

 

[Igotnoname]

Going to church means you only meet people 60+ age , at least where I live its like that, my town got like 6000 people living here and most of them are tourists because we are spa town or recreation area I dont know how to say it properly.

Moving away is no option as I got no money for anything and I wasnt accepted to university this year after my matriculation exam. Things are a little bit different in Slovak republic. Like its hard to even get job for the lowest pay these days.With luck I could get a job that will pay me 100 € a month and my parents get more money if I study Xq

Some people who worked for several years before the economic crisis now dont work at all because the job they can get give them the same or only like a bit more for working so they dont go to work cause its not worth it they live from the unemployment aid they got from many years of working.

The employers want people with the highest education which if you never missed a year takes you to 24-25 years of age and also wants you to be perfect and have like 2-5 years of experience Xq ... yeah like I can get that if you dont give me a chance.You have to know people and have big social network but I moved here like 6 years ago and never built that, before that I lived in capital city.

the only option for me is to try to do these dirty jobs who gives me half of the money my parents would get if I studied and try the next year.

Hopefully I will be able to study psychology as thats like the only thing im interested in as I cant study economics or marketing cause theres math and thats a killer for me Xq

Hope the no friends no girl wont haunt me again as i cant afford to have depressions again. Having a girl here is actually not worth it as most of them are materialistic which I hate so I wouldnt touch them with a pole. I hate the stupid idea of ******* everything in sight also so its 0 for me. I even refused sex from some horny drunk girl.I only wish I didnt give my virginity to my only gf I had as she after 2 years said that the love faded and when I said to her how I feel she replied with I dont care you can go and die.I hope she doesnt feel bad going to church with these words.

Sorry for the grammar I wasnt paying too much of attention to it as I should I just need to vent sometimes.

 

[Gutted]

Your family seems charming. When you've mastered your fighting, please give them a taste of reality for me. I'm sorry to hear about your troubles. You are welcomed here. Stick around buddy. I'm sure you have plenty to teach people~

 

[Unwanted94]

This is just sad. I still find it hard to believe that your family told you to die and that they wouldn't care. That's cold.
I barely even talk to my family anymore, but wow...That's something else. As for the woman that will love you for you...Maybe you'll find her. I'm pretty sure you have a much higher chance that me finding "the one" (whoever the hell that is). Though, I don't believe in romance, so yeah...I'll try not to burst your bubble. And don't forget that beauty is within the eye of the beholder.