Is Sex Overrated? (Seriously)

[Bread]

It's the biological imperative of all life- to pass on their genes, make sure the species stays alive, with a bit of themselves thrown into the mix of the ol' gene pool. There's all sorts of rewards, physical and mental, that our body create when engaged in the act, and afterwards. Something to do with bonding and making sure the offspring is looked after, so the species marches on. We've just added all sorts of weird touches to the whole mating rituals and whatnot, being a bunch of mad monkeys we are.

I don't know from personal experience, really. All I got is a textbook answer, with a touch of little ol' cynical me.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

I'm okay now. I'm not sad anymore.

Can I *hug* you regardless Soph?

---

These replies have been interesting. I'll revise mine a little.

I think what I really desire (and also something I think is hugely underrated when compared to sex) is closeness.

To me, sex is just a physical action in concept. Arguably it's the extension of a passion for another, but ultimately...it's just a physical activity like most others if conducted without the emotion behind it I think.

What I would really like and value much more is the chance to just snuggle a girl until she falls asleep in my arms, or cuddle up together when it's raining outside. Or just share a kiss while watching a film.

I'd also like to go shopping for a girl, cook a meal for her, take her out for a drive somewhere.

I believe it's those little things that people so easily take forgranted that are underrated, with sex being rather overrated in comparison.

I'm sure sex is amazing, but if I had the choice between sex with someone and the chance to have a day out with them followed by some clothed non-rude snuggling, I'd pick the latter every time.

(I appreciate this is all "View of a Virgin" and "You'd pick sex if you knew what it was like", but I honestly don't think I would. Simple affectionate gestures mean so much more to me...)

 

[Arsenic Queen]

Overrated maybe, to some people. It's not the only thing, and shouldn't be the best thing in a relationship, else your relationship is **** bad, lol. Even if the sex is exceptional, there has to be other reasons cementing a union, else it doesn't make sense and won't pass the test of time.

That being said, I think sex is a normal part of a relationship. I couldn't commit to someone in a love relationship where it's not going to happen. As much I can go without it for years if I'm single, as much it's a natural way for me to bond with a partner within a relationship. Without it at all, something important is lacking.

Body-to-body contact, kisses, hugs, are an important part of it, but even before that, I think the emotional and mind bond between two partners is even more important. To me the best turn on is to be with a man who already makes one with me on the mind and emotional levels. Someone with whom it's easy and natural to relax, feel good, and understand each other. Respect, kindness, playfulness and trust are also super important.

 

[Lost Drifter]

I think what I really desire (and also something I think is hugely underrated when compared to sex) is closeness.

To me, sex is just a physical action in concept. Arguably it's the extension of a passion for another, but ultimately...it's just a physical activity like most others if conducted without the emotion behind it I think.

I think this is the crux of the matter, some people will see sex as a physical act and if that works for them then so be it (I’m not here to judge) but others such as myself do see it as an act of closeness, it’s a bond that isn’t offered lightly and is a sign of trust, loyalty, desire and commitment. I’m not saying that it’s the be all and end all of some relationship and I know I’ve had trouble performing without the emotions behind it but you live and learn, we’re all different in that respect.

However I do think people, especially the younger, are pressured into having sex by the media and society. According to films and television you’re not having fun unless you’re constantly in bed with the opposite sex; your marriage is a sham unless you’re having sex six nights a week and for men, you’re not considered a man unless you’re constantly thinking about sex or at least mentally undressing every woman you see. What a load of hogwash! But it still influences people far too much.

(I appreciate this is all "View of a Virgin")

We discussed this before brother, your views are valid no matter your status, remember what we said?

 

[DreamerDeceiver]

It revolts me how people think sex is the only true meaning and incentive of a romantic relationship. That is where it becomes severely overrated.

Why so serious?

 

[Factotum]

Doug Stanhope - Sex and Shame

please watch this video. i think stanhope makes sense.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

However I do think people, especially the younger, are pressured into having sex by the media and society. According to films and television you’re not having fun unless you’re constantly in bed with the opposite sex; your marriage is a sham unless you’re having sex six nights a week and for men, you’re not considered a man unless you’re constantly thinking about sex or at least mentally undressing every woman you see. What a load of hogwash! But it still influences people far too much.

You know, that first point rings really true, even though I'm not even in my teens anymore. Stupid as it sounds, I don't really feel like a "man" due to my lack of romantic experience. I feel like I've never really made the transition from being a kid to being my own form of adult.

I think that's all stemmed from cultural brainwashing really. As you said yourself, the media feeds us a constant stream of how "more sex equals more manly".

I cannot think of a single non-religious piece of media where a virgin is portrayed as being attractive, successful or heroic. I can think of countless where he or she is instead a loser/outcast/villain or "nerd".

Funny how if that was the case with race, gender or sexual preference in characters there would be an outcry, but when it comes to such brutal abuse of a group of people based on experience it's all just fun 'n' games.

I've not told anyone I know at Uni that I'm a virgin. Because I'm certain they'd look at me like I'm some kind of weirdo

About two years ago I told someone I'd not been kissed before and they looked at me like I was from Mars, lol

Yesterday someone was even joking raucously about people being virgins at "our" age, which made me rather uncomfortable. Still, the rational part of me sees no reason why I should be ashamed that I have standards when it comes to all that stuff.

(I appreciate this is all "View of a Virgin")

We discussed this before brother, your views are valid no matter your status, remember what we said?

They're valid indeed, I just meant that my opinions nonetheless don't have the weight of experience behind them...which does make them a little less authoritative compared to a similar opinion voiced by someone who actually knows about this stuff!

 

[RJLJD]

anyone who hears "virgin" and automatically thinks "loser" or "not manly" needs to learn who tim tebow is.

 

[Vagrant Legacy]

Sex isn't overrated.
And it's comforting to see that your onslaught of new threads hasn't ceased yet. Keep making them, you interesting, interesting thread-making man.

 

[tangerinedream]

Overrated? Not at all.

Is it the be-all and end-all of everything? No.

A relationship based solely on sex is going to fail at some point.

 

[Okiedokes]

I agree with how it depends on who it's with and what both people have together besides just sex. I think it's overrated in a few different ways... plastic surgery for bigger boobs, several facial surgeries to look sexier and "perfect", a dirty (not romantic) sex scene in the middle of a movie like wtffff how random. Sex itself? No. Sex by the media and society? Look around at the different things to enhance sex and stuff I already mentioned. I think it's just too much. Too much of an obsession.. is a good word.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Actually, I think a more unusual spin on the question is: Is it possible to even rate sex?

I mean, I guess you could say "That was bad sex." if you had a terrible experience or something. But I mean rating it in terms of the actual objective and emotional content of it.

From what I can tell, it's almost like a fundamentally different act for different person.

Though I'm one of those people who ultimately spends way too much time thinking about being intimate (emotionally and physically) with someone with no actual hope of ever achieving that.

I'm a victim of how strongly I feel about it - due to all the significance I attach to it all, I simply can't bring myself to ask out people I find attractive

It always strikes me as really ironic that I'd appreciate sex (or even just cuddling) so much more than some of the people I know, yet that's exactly the reason that it's not going to be a part of my life. Sometimes I feel like sex and even kissing and relationships are just all an elaborate set of myths that exist only in the media.

 

[LoneKiller]

Actually, I think a more unusual spin on the question is: Is it possible to even rate sex?

I mean, I guess you could say "That was bad sex." if you had a terrible experience or something. But I mean rating it in terms of the actual objective and emotional content of it.

From what I can tell, it's almost like a fundamentally different act for different person.

Though I'm one of those people who ultimately spends way too much time thinking about being intimate (emotionally and physically) with someone with no actual hope of ever achieving that.

I'm a victim of how strongly I feel about it - due to all the significance I attach to it all, I simply can't bring myself to ask out people I find attractive

It always strikes me as really ironic that I'd appreciate sex (or even just cuddling) so much more than some of the people I know, yet that's exactly the reason that it's not going to be a part of my life. Sometimes I feel like sex and even kissing and relationships are just all an elaborate set of myths that exist only in the media.

Sometimes, attractive people can have a hard time as well. I can't speak for women, but when I see a hot woman my first impression is that she is already taken. She's too hot to be single. Some women actually get frustrated for this very reason. Nobody really approaches them because of it. There are plenty of women out there who are content to cuddle. Especially if you suck in bed.
I'm not trying to sound pervy, but the following things I have learned about sex and relationships.

1. "Diving" is essential.
2. If you are not giving your girlfriend orgasms, she find another who will.
3. Experiment with all different kinds of positions. "Missionary" all the time becomes boring for a woman.
4. Be more sensitive to her sexual needs, not just to get your rocks off then roll over.
5. Ask her straight up, what she likes during sex.
6. By "Studded" condoms for her pleasure as well
7. Add some romance to sex. Scented candles, bubble baths, etc.
8. Be spontaneous.
9. A little Barry White during lovemaking never hurts.
10.Watch porn and learn from the experts.
11.Only use alcohol as a last result.

The "Love Doctor" is in the house.

 

[Callie]

Sex is sex, you either like it or you don't. Yes, there are times when it's just the person you're having sex with that is not doing it for you, but for the most part, it's about the person having sex and how he/she feels about it. Personally, I like sex and don't think it's overrated at all.

1. "Diving" is essential.
2. If you are not giving your girlfriend orgasms, she find another who will.
3. Experiment with all different kinds of positions. "Missionary" all the time becomes boring for a woman.
4. Be more sensitive to her sexual needs, not just to get your rocks off then roll over.
5. Ask her straight up, what she likes during sex.
6. By "Studded" condoms for her pleasure as well
7. Add some romance to sex. Scented candles, bubble baths, etc.
8. Be spontaneous.
9. A little Barry White during lovemaking never hurts.
10.Watch porn and learn from the experts.
11.Only use alcohol as a last result.

The "Love Doctor" is in the house.[/color]

I will have to say BULLSHIT to the majority of this list.... sorry

 

[LoneKiller]

Sex is sex, you either like it or you don't. Yes, there are times when it's just the person you're having sex with that is not doing it for you, but for the most part, it's about the person having sex and how he/she feels about it. Personally, I like sex and don't think it's overrated at all.

1. "Diving" is essential.
2. If you are not giving your girlfriend orgasms, she find another who will.
3. Experiment with all different kinds of positions. "Missionary" all the time becomes boring for a woman.
4. Be more sensitive to her sexual needs, not just to get your rocks off then roll over.
5. Ask her straight up, what she likes during sex.
6. By "Studded" condoms for her pleasure as well
7. Add some romance to sex. Scented candles, bubble baths, etc.
8. Be spontaneous.
9. A little Barry White during lovemaking never hurts.
10.Watch porn and learn from the experts.
11.Only use alcohol as a last result.

The "Love Doctor" is in the house.[/color]

I will have to say BULLSHIT to the majority of this list.... sorry

Apology accepted.

 

[Callie]

Sex is sex, you either like it or you don't. Yes, there are times when it's just the person you're having sex with that is not doing it for you, but for the most part, it's about the person having sex and how he/she feels about it. Personally, I like sex and don't think it's overrated at all.

1. "Diving" is essential.
2. If you are not giving your girlfriend orgasms, she find another who will.
3. Experiment with all different kinds of positions. "Missionary" all the time becomes boring for a woman.
4. Be more sensitive to her sexual needs, not just to get your rocks off then roll over.
5. Ask her straight up, what she likes during sex.
6. By "Studded" condoms for her pleasure as well
7. Add some romance to sex. Scented candles, bubble baths, etc.
8. Be spontaneous.
9. A little Barry White during lovemaking never hurts.
10.Watch porn and learn from the experts.
11.Only use alcohol as a last result.

The "Love Doctor" is in the house.[/color]

I will have to say BULLSHIT to the majority of this list.... sorry

Apology accepted.

you DO understand that that sorry was sarcastic as hell, right?

 

[LoneKiller]

Sex is sex, you either like it or you don't. Yes, there are times when it's just the person you're having sex with that is not doing it for you, but for the most part, it's about the person having sex and how he/she feels about it. Personally, I like sex and don't think it's overrated at all.

1. "Diving" is essential.
2. If you are not giving your girlfriend orgasms, she find another who will.
3. Experiment with all different kinds of positions. "Missionary" all the time becomes boring for a woman.
4. Be more sensitive to her sexual needs, not just to get your rocks off then roll over.
5. Ask her straight up, what she likes during sex.
6. By "Studded" condoms for her pleasure as well
7. Add some romance to sex. Scented candles, bubble baths, etc.
8. Be spontaneous.
9. A little Barry White during lovemaking never hurts.
10.Watch porn and learn from the experts.
11.Only use alcohol as a last result.

The "Love Doctor" is in the house.[/color]

I will have to say BULLSHIT to the majority of this list.... sorry

Apology accepted.

you DO understand that that sorry was sarcastic as hell, right?

Yes. Of course. That's why I replied sarcastically.