Is this Reality?

[Tiger lily]

I'm wondering whether the reality of life is ment to feel like this, I know everyone has to go to work but it feels so un-natural that the most part of my day is spent in isolation behind a compuer. I'm not against abit of work to earn a living but I feel the lack of socail activity is killing me. I know other people go through it, yet some of these people at least have friends, or tehir own family, I dont have either of these. I have no problem talking to people, I'm pretty and I'm funny and intelligent I just find it so hard since leaving universiy to find any friends. All courses, clubs etc and full of people in their 40s. I'm not being ageist but how are you ment to meet a potencial partner when I have no idea where to attract these people? I'm only 25 but feel cut off from people. It seems the only way to survive life after uni is if you are lucky enough to have friends living close by still or you met your partner at uni, otherwise you get left by the road side.

Alot of people go to the big cities but I worry I'd be equally alone there, with no support, whereas now I have parents and brother. How can I feel happier? I feel I have no independance aswell. No previous relationship makes me feel like I'm a kid still which fustrates me so much.

 

[Mary Mary]

We no longer live the way we evolved to live. We evolved in a world of flight or fight and not chronic stress; where lived in small, tight knit communities and less as individuals; we lived in a world where we constantly felt the rain, the wind, and temperature changes as opposed to an environmentally controlled world with little temperature fluctuation; our original world required us to fully engage the environment to survive and for recreation instead of staring at one point in space at a monitor or TV; we concerned ourselves with finding food for today and not if we're going to have enough money 40 years from now.

Our life is certainly better than our ancestors; but it doesn't seem to be as stellar a trade off as one might think, does it?

 

[edgecrusher]

We no longer live the way we evolved to live. We evolved in a world of flight or fight and not chronic stress; where lived in small, tight knit communities and less as individuals; we lived in a world where we constantly felt the rain, the wind, and temperature changes as opposed to an environmentally controlled world with little temperature fluctuation; our original world required us to fully engage the environment to survive and for recreation instead of staring at one point in space at a monitor or TV; we concerned ourselves with finding food for today and not if we're going to have enough money 40 years from now.

Our life is certainly better than our ancestors; but it doesn't seem to be as stellar a trade off as one might think, does it?

i never thought of it like that before. you just kind of blew my mind in a way.

 

[HappyYogi]

Tigerlily~

Yes, this is your reality for now but you can change it.

Not meaning to sound trite but you must make a point of "getting out there". I am a shy person myself (in my 40's) and it really IS true, the more you get out, the more you do things around people regularly the more connections and possible friends you will make. But you need to do it.

I understand that life...I've experienced it but I make it a point and am committed to going out more. You need to commit to yourself to do this for yourself for a balanced life.

Ideas: Meet-ups, exercise groups, classes, book groups, volunteering.

I personally met a lot of people thru animal advocacy and dance also my spiritual interests but it all starts with getting out of the house and going, regularly. You can do it.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I sat in an office for 16 yrs. It was a good thing I had a window and near a ddor. After yrs gone by..I forgot to get up every hour away from the PC screen...Slowly it felt like I was walking into a prison cell. My job required that I communicate with people...a little chit chat between buissness helped..

True..being in a relationship N children made it bareable..theyre what I work for..Even then it was a challenge to maintain a balance between Love. Work, N play..cuz my **** boss wanted me to work all the time.
60-70 hrs Pweek left me little time
for my family..I was drained N tired When I came home.
Rasing children, a partner N bussied work...Time went by fast. I felt like I was consttanly trying to beat the clock. I serioisly thought I was going to die of a heart attack @ the age of 29.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Wow Mary, like Edge said that blew my mind. How accurate. Seems all we do now is try to struggle through each day to make a living, we're all so focused on surviving we forget how to live. Especially with today's economy were times are rough for most. We need to remember to stop and smell the roses sometimes, if we all did that I bet the we would all be much happier.

 

[NOAH_FX]

We no longer live the way we evolved to live. We evolved in a world of flight or fight and not chronic stress; where lived in small, tight knit communities and less as individuals; we lived in a world where we constantly felt the rain, the wind, and temperature changes as opposed to an environmentally controlled world with little temperature fluctuation; our original world required us to fully engage the environment to survive and for recreation instead of staring at one point in space at a monitor or TV; we concerned ourselves with finding food for today and not if we're going to have enough money 40 years from now.

Our life is certainly better than our ancestors; but it doesn't seem to be as stellar a trade off as one might think, does it?

We are simply overdeveloped Primapes. Great post

 

[Mary Mary]

Thanks, guys.

 

[atomlight]

The problem is, it's just not enough to live according to the rules. Sure, you manage to live according to the rules. Sometimes it's tight, extremely tight, but on the whole you manage it. Your tax papers are up to date. Your bills paid on time. You never go out without your identity card (and the special little wallet for your Visa!).

Yet you haven’t any friends.

The rules are complex, multiform. There’s the shopping that needs doing out of working hours, the automatic dispensers where money has to be got (and where you so often have to wait). Above all there are the different payments you must make to the organizations that run different aspects of your life. You can fall ill into the bargain, which involves costs, and more formalities.

Nevertheless, some free time remains. What’s to be done? How do you use your time? In dedicating yourself to helping people? But basically other people don’t interest you. Listening to records? That used to be a solution, but as the years go by you have to say that music moves you less and less.

Taken in its widest sense, a spot of do-it-yourself can be a way out. But the fact is that nothing can halt the ever-increasing recurrence of those moments when your total isolation, the sensation of an all-consuming emptiness, the foreboding that your existence is nearing a painful and definitive end all combine to plunge you into a state of real suffering.

from Whatever by Michel Houellebecq

 

[Tiger lily]

Taken in its widest sense, a spot of do-it-yourself can be a way out. But the fact is that nothing can halt the ever-increasing recurrence of those moments when your total isolation, the sensation of an all-consuming emptiness, the foreboding that your existence is nearing a painful and definitive end all combine to plunge you into a state of real suffering.

Is this true of all humans, are we only just as lonley deep down?

 

[IllusionOfTheSelf]

This is your reality, your world, nobody can make it better for you, and rather someone caring or not that is another story. We are so distraught in our own world's, where it has come to the point where we have loss empathy and everything else. You need to take action towards your life, it's never going to change if we all keep playing the victim, which is what this Universe is made up of. You have the prey, and the hunter. The Hunter strifes for money and security, thus it goes for the prey to climb up the ladder of life, the prey is soon used and forgotten, life is a game...
Are you going to play?
Or are you going to hide?
Here are some suggestions:
One of the hardest things about keeping a positive attitude (or about self improvement in general), is remembering to constantly focus on the desired end result. Life throws lots of negativity at us and it can sometimes get to the point where lashing out against the onslaught is nothing less than self defense. However, if you create a negative state of mind by reacting in a less than positive manner – no matter how justified that reaction may be – you will still have created that negative state of mind. There is some positive aspect to even the most mind-numbing situations, and by finding that silver lining, you can turn a perceived bad set of circumstances into something that works towards your own interests.
Here is a marvelous video onward of finding your place:

The Gayatri Mantra
Good luck!

 

[Tiger lily]

This is your reality, your world, nobody can make it better for you, and rather someone caring or not that is another story. We are so distraught in our own world's, where it has come to the point where we have loss empathy and everything else. You need to take action towards your life, it's never going to change if we all keep playing the victim, which is what this Universe is made up of. You have the prey, and the hunter. The Hunter strifes for money and security, thus it goes for the prey to climb up the ladder of life, the prey is soon used and forgotten, life is a game...
Are you going to play?
Or are you going to hide?
Here are some suggestions:
One of the hardest things about keeping a positive attitude (or about self improvement in general), is remembering to constantly focus on the desired end result. Life throws lots of negativity at us and it can sometimes get to the point where lashing out against the onslaught is nothing less than self defense. However, if you create a negative state of mind by reacting in a less than positive manner – no matter how justified that reaction may be – you will still have created that negative state of mind. There is some positive aspect to even the most mind-numbing situations, and by finding that silver lining, you can turn a perceived bad set of circumstances into something that works towards your own interests.
Here is a marvelous video onward of finding your place:

The Gayatri Mantra
Good luck!

I have been actively trying to find new friends for about 3 years now. Even though I don't feel happy I am pro-activate. None of these people I have got close to - meaning Ive not clicked in terms of humour or interests with anyone so I still feel emotionally alone. Its not that I'm just sitting at home its just that nothing seems to fulfill me, I am actually extremly active people comment and say do you ever do nothing, Ive been there doing nothing and its horrible but I cant say keeping busy helps either I still feel unhappy. Ive had opportunity to go out with people but Ive not liked them in that way so Ive told them no. So its not that I'm a co-dependant person just needing a relationship. Its something else...which I cant work out. I feel I've lost my identity almost, like whats the point being myself when I have no one around to relate to? I didnt really mean whats the point I just mean I think this is a result of feeling alone.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I get where ur coming from...
but dont be so hard on urself about wanting to love and be lolved...its the most natural thing in the world.

My relationship with Tracy lasted as long as it did..becuase I still had to take a risk...@ the samettime I wents shopping with her. I started listning to music she likes....I hate going shoping with women. I hate rap music...
Appriciating her differencing and compremizing....without losoing myself. Tracy is such a spoil brrat though...
@ the sametime..I new she could make me happy. No one can...except
for me. I just chose to be happy...

yeap I been in worst toxic relationship
and lost myself ...a very..very strange experince..wish not to go back there...

it the same type of struggles over eaters experince..I guess. You gatta eat to live..but once they eat they cant stop....even though I dont have an eting disorder...mine is relationship disorder I guess...co dependency is another term for it..