Equality7-2521
Active member
- Joined
- Mar 22, 2012
- Messages
- 38
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It's hard to really say how long I have felt like this. I guess it has been a growing a feeling for the last year or so. I had a falling out with my last girlfriend of nearly five years. She left me with no real reason to be spoken, and into the arms of the another guy. Then after that I lost most of the people I hung with because of it showing their true colors I guess.
Since then I've withdrawn myself from the world, and by this I mean I don't try to socialize with the people around me. I still go out to do day to day business, and I still go out with friends about once a month. It's different though. I see things from the 3rd perspective. I watch as these people interact with each other with their ordinary tasks. Those same tasks I took for granted when I had people I could rely on to be there at my side.
At some points watching these people smile, and laugh brings me joy; to know that while I may be unhappy there is still joy in the world. At the same time it just pokes at me about how alone I am here in my own little world.
With that the feelings of not being good enough grow at an exponential rate where I question my intelligence, my physical body, and my morels on if I am a good person or not are questioned. Which hinders my abilities further.
Since then I've withdrawn myself from the world, and by this I mean I don't try to socialize with the people around me. I still go out to do day to day business, and I still go out with friends about once a month. It's different though. I see things from the 3rd perspective. I watch as these people interact with each other with their ordinary tasks. Those same tasks I took for granted when I had people I could rely on to be there at my side.
At some points watching these people smile, and laugh brings me joy; to know that while I may be unhappy there is still joy in the world. At the same time it just pokes at me about how alone I am here in my own little world.
With that the feelings of not being good enough grow at an exponential rate where I question my intelligence, my physical body, and my morels on if I am a good person or not are questioned. Which hinders my abilities further.