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Intrama

🇪 🇱 🇪 🇻 🇦 🇹 🇪 🇩
Joined
May 30, 2023
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Location
Terra Firma
My nickname is Kash. I'm 37 (soon to be 38 in August). I reside in Alberta, Canada.

I've had a pretty messy life but I've somehow managed to get this far. Childhood... Well, suffice it to say, I score exceptionally high on an ACE test.

I've seen what it's like to live homeless for an extended period of time. December 10th 2015 till March 6th 2019 was spent roaming around the urban landscape hopelessly addicted to crystal methamphetamine.

Oh, right.. I've been in active addiction (though not to the same substance) of some sort since late 2006.

I've always been lonely. Recently, however, I've completely ramped up the self sabotage and isolationist stance. Pushing absolutely everyone away so far and so abruptly (I could teach a master class on "ghosting") that there's zero hope they actually fight for the relationship and try to reconnect with me.

I'm suffering from cPTSD, GAD/SAD, and ADHD.

I'm just hoping to gel here and maybe feel like I belong. I can't do this waking up to absolutely no contact with anyone anymore. I just can't. I feel like I would rather not exist than suffer completely alone. But I basically caused a giant portion of my loneliness... Myself...

Frustrated and fed up. Hoping I didn't over share just now and look hideous or something.

Hope to see you on the forum.
 
hello :)

"F***s-ups" gathering together on online forums is normal, so no worries about oversharing, we accept you as you are ^^
 
Hi Kash! I feel ya on just wishing I had someone to talk to. I'm always available to chat if you want.
Thank you, I'm going through a crash from my stupid, ill-advised bender. I appreciate your saying that. I'll definitely reach out in a bit here.

Just trying to do self care and I cleaned my entire apartment so I wouldn't be stressed during this horrible time.
 

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