I've Been Thinking...

[BirchBark]

I'm sort of a newshound, so I've been following this VTech thing pretty closely. People kept saying that the gunman was a "loner", that "he kept himself", or "he didn't have any friends." I know what I'm going to say next may seem selfish in the light of these events, but I'm going to say it anyways.

I'm in college, a freshman, and I don't have any friends. I don't know, no one ever really talks to me, except my roommates and a few people in my fiction writing class. I don't anywhere to go, or anyone to hang out with on Friday or Saturday nights, so I just sit my dorm room. I know I should just go out and talk to people, put myself out there, but I have social anxiety disorder and those things are much harder than they seem. Worse, I've met other shy people (one in group, one in a class) and they're doing just fine from my viewpoint. They have all their Facebook friends, they have people to hang out with. I don't even to really talk to except for my counselor.

I feel as if people just really don't want to get to know me. I don't what it is about me, I smile, I try to be friendly to people who approach me, but I can't develop any relationships. In college, social-interaction central, of all places.

But anyways, about the VTech thing. It's pretty obvious to anyone who would meet me and look at my Facebook profile that I don't have any friends real friends. I mean I have 20 university friends. Most people have about 100, just on campus. Now I'm afraid after this event, people are going to look at me like some crazy loner who could potentially kill people. Which is a ludicrous thought I know, and I mean, I have trouble killing flies. I'm certain no one on this forum is anything like this guy, as well. Loneliness wasn't his only problem, it's pretty clear.

God, anyway, I don't know how all this was really supposed to come together. I just don't have anyone close to talk to about stuff like this other than my counselors and I can't get in to see them for two weeks. I just feel like a ridiculous human being for having these problems.

I wish someone could just reach out to me a little bit, but this is college and I'm just anonymous. No one really cares that much.

 

[Searching_4_My_Soul-Mate]

Take it from an old lady of 35 years..... You can be a very out-going kind of person or an introvert. Either way - a lot of people can only say that they have only 1 true friend. Sure - I have many aquaintences. But as far as a TRUE friend - those are very hard to come by. It isn't always a matter of people being jerks... It is just that people are busy and involved in their own lives. So don't feel you have to be the pinnacle of popularity...

As far as the gunman from VT.. I wish I could understand the problem and fix it. I feel the same way about the shooting at Columbine and also about what happened to those poor, young Amish girls that were killed. Who the hell shoots Amish schoolgirls? Those people bother NOBODY! Well, anyway...

I can understand your concern. People are always going to be suspicious. But if you ever watch the news - you will see that even the most reputable people have done some crazy honeysuckle. Look at Scott Peterson. He was good-looking, smart and was basically the all-American kind of guy.. And yet he committed a horrible crime by killing his wife and his unborn child. You see on the news all the time how there are Doctors or Teachers who molest people or do crazy things. It is just such a crazy world anymore. People are afraid these days.