I've lost all my friends...Well, "friends"...

[DJ ML]

When I first entered High School, I had a lot of social problems, but once I reached my sophmore and junior years I had a good group of friends. Everyone on my XC and Track team was very close and we were all best friends. I was a little sensitive, which caused me problems/ arguments sometimes...But overall, I fit in just fine back then.

However, this year (senior year), the school system divided the schools up and all my friends live on the opposite side of town...I got sent to the other school. Though, get this, I would spend the first half of my day at their school and the other half at mine because of certain classes I took...So, I don't really think I should've grown that far apart from everyone. I still saw ALL of them, EVERYDAY...But apparently I did "grow apart"...More excuses...

I wasn't ALWAYS included in EVERYTHING to begin with, but soon after the split, I found myself left out of absolutely. Everything. I now have no friends other than a great, best friend of mine named Alex.

Things then got the worst when I took my friend Cassie to my prom. I have no friends at my home school, so when I brought her, she pretty much knew she'd be the only one I could hang with, honestly. I'm an outgoing guy, really...But I just simply don't like many of the people at my home school. Anyhow... Cassie is a well known tease and leads guys on and loves to assume they all love her...Anyhow, the first 2 hours we had loads of fun, but supposedly she thought i liked her into the night and she ditched me. I was all by myself...Everytime I approached her she'd run away, literally. I went outside and sulked for a bit but decided I wasnt going to let someone do that to me. Not again. I didn't want to kill her fun, but I had noone there to speak to and she knew it...She was my best friend that was a girl, and I felt terrible...So I tapped her on the arm, asked her to get her things, and we left. Didn't say a word to one another and haven't since.

Ever since, she has singled me out and gossips about me constantly. Revealing secrets I told her and spreading rumors. As if I wasn't already unincluded enough, I have now been left out of everything and noone will even as much as look at me except for my best friend Alex who still comes by just about everyday because he believes me...Everyone in the group knows the true story. I haven't told it to any of them, but other people who were at the prom saw what happened...It doesn't matter though...

I'm sick of being lied to and left out of everything. I'd like to forget about them and move on, but I live in a small town and its slim pickings. I finally have a car now so that helps, but still.....I even got lied to about something that was going on today fer fucks sake...What the fresia do I do?

 

[Jesse]

Forget em all man, you don't need them. Be happy you have Alex. Hang with him/her. I only have 1 friend around here- Joel. I hang out with him all the time. I'd rather have 1 good, trustworthy friend, than 20 "friends" who would turn their back on you. Don't consider it a loss, consider it a good thing. You don't need people like that.

Not only that but you've got us here

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Please try to not take it so hard or too personal
I too grew up in a town of around 35000.
During my senior year in HS things changed for some reasons.
Right after I rolled my truck ...most of my friends just disappeared...Fucken dickheads..lol
Then I finally seattle down and started going out with a girl...then she died on me the weekend before the prom.
That really fresia my honeysuckle up...

After HS things were totally different. Everybody went thier separate ways.
I made new friends in college and another girl.
(I never thought that would happen..becuase i was kind of wacked ..still havn't recovered from the death of my
HS GF).
After 1 1/2 of college..I went into the usaf. The plan was for my gf and I to get marry after
I join the service...well, that didn't work out.
well at least I was getting the fresia out of that **** fucken mess and honeysuckle hole of a town.
yeah..man..Where i live is like the fucken arm pit of the fucken earth..it fucken stinks..lmao

So...I got shipped off to freaken bascic training. I made friends while i was in basic. (that didnt last long)
Then I got stationed at some freaken place that I've never heard of ...without my finace..FFS
Luckily..it was in a city of 200,000. I met new friends while processing into my main base.
4-5 of us became friend and hung out with each other for the first 3-4 months...it was fun..We party.lol
Then after that..I made more friends and gf from work and at the dormatory I was living at.
Then I met my ex-wf...that was totally FUN !!! lmao

After I got a devioced. I moved back to town...of freaken corse..I ran into my so call fiance
Un finished bussiness i guess. That lasted for around 6 months...

I moved to the city...I didn't know a single soul at first...I graudally made new friends.
City living was a bit too much for me...or I party too **** hard..lol

I move back home again...broke and didn't know anyone.
I finally landed a good job.
I met more people or ran into old hs buddies
I had drinking buddies and all the good stuff. Partied my ass off.lmao
I met a couple of specail friends. Those girls where crazy
Well...fresia, that didn't last forever...lmao

So..I sobered up and met a GF..I lived with her for almost 6 years..I thought that was
going tolast forever...it didn't.
I made some freinds also while i was setlling down.

Well..fresia as always...I didn't think I was ever going to find love or make friends again.
Then I ran into my ex-gf and lived with her for 12 years. That was totally fucken FUN !!!
I have to moved in with one of my friends for almost a year becuase that's how fun it was...lol
Oh yes...plenty of rumors going around...about me.
well..i have all of her secrets and I remember all the positions She did with me and to me too. lmao
I can be like that too...but nah.

So..I'm trying to pick up the fucken pieces again...
Didn't really want any friends..definitely not looking too hard for another GF.
I made more friends and have different friends today.

Ya know...I just notice something tonight. That blonde that I've been talking to and inneracting
with for the pass six months...looks just like my first GF i had when I was 15 or my fiance.
She makes me laugh alot...we'll see if it's going to be FUN!!!lmao
She even gave me a hint..I showed a friend one of my songs I wrote for my ex.
I just happened to mentioned my ex's name..
Straight up this girl told me she didn't want to know or hear me mention my ex.lol
She flicked her hair a couple of times at me.lmao

one of my hs buddy still lives right down the street...but I don't drink anymore.
There's also another HS partying buddy i see at my meetings...he and I hang out .....chit chat.

Anyway..please take care of yourself.
Be good to yourself.
Don't be so hard on yourself.
DON"T LOSE YOUSELF.

Try to focus on your education and follow your hopes and dreams.
Generally when I do that. I get really busy...I feel better about myself.
I have better selfesteem and a zest for life becuase I have purpose in my life and a positive engergy going.
I don't sit and wonder about problem or dramma, then people bascailly walk into my life.
That type of energy attracts poeple into my life.
It's kind of weird becuase I'll be really busy and into my goals and have to bebate to make time for friends or a GF
as if to distract me from my dreams and goals.

Congrate on getting your ride.
I recently purchased a truck myself. I know it'll get better. It always had.
Life gets better when I get better or well.
Alot of it for me..is to learn from my mistakes and better myself.
Even though you're much younger than I am...I'm bascailly sort of going through the samething.

Enjoy the good times and try to get through the tough times as best you can.
Be well. Laugh a lot.

 

[Nyktimos]

Friends like this you don't need. Friends like Alex you do. It may not feel like it, but you've got the better deal. People do gossip, and people do grow apart. You'll make other friends. Just do what you enjoy doing. Find people with similar interests. People need to be bound together by common interests. When you're young, simply the fact you go to school or college together gives you something in common. As you get older, these close friendships become less important anyway in my opinion. People are more accepting of each others differences, and hook up on the grounds of common interests. There's no point lamenting the loss of friends you can't trust.

Lonesome Crow, nice Eddie avatar. Maiden rocks!

 

[DJ ML]

Yeah, I'm very grateful for my friend Alex.

But I think I might've made a mistake though...I told him the other day how I felt about everyone in that group of people when he was hangin out at my place the other night. I told him how I basically feel hated, excluded, and how nobody likes me. He tried being optimistic saying things like "well, you weren't around as much cus of the split" and making up other plausible excuses that do make sense, but in the long run don't constitute "friends" ditching you....I grew a bit frustrated. Though I didn't yell at him, I told him that he need not try to be so kind about it and just agree with me, because he knew it was the truth. After he saw my apparent frustration, he started being more honest about the situation. I respect and appreciate his kindness, but still...I don't want to be lying to myself, nor having someone fill my head with hope and lies over a situation I should just get over with.

For a long time I never worried about our friendship being in danger, but now a part of me does worry...

I worry he may begin to see me as overly-sensitive and gloomy and may lose interest through time in being my friend...I'm trying not to think that way, but I can't help it...

Ughhhhhhh......

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Mike

Please try to stop worrying

If Alex is your friend...please just try to accept his friendship.

Maybe you can try reserching on ACOA.

You have control over your so call friend's actions and behaviors as much as you do over your father's drinking.....(NONE)

LET GO...LET GO of your worries.

My sponsor had to help me through a very difficult situation.
I had a hard time accepting my circumstance.
He nither down played anything that I was going through
or what I was feeling.
He too went through simular situations.

The constant worrying, hurt, anger and obsession over
the problems was sucking the life and energy out of me.

"get over it"....fresia !!!! I hate that fucken term.

It was peace...the peace I needed within myself.

Right or wrong it didn't matter.
An analogy...like a dog chasing it's own tail runing in a circle in my mind (obsession)
Have you ever watch a dog with a leash on a pole ?
It chases it's own tail...as the leash gets tighter and tighter then eventaully choke itself.

I needed peace in my life.
I had to learn how to let go of the pains, hurt and obsession
that was going on inside of me...
I needed to stop beating up on myself or hurt myself.

Also at the sametime..I was learning how to trust again.
So much trust was dystroyed inside of me.

As much as I love my ex-gf...I had to get away from her. The relationship was intoxicated.
It was piosoning me.

I also had to let go of many other relationships (such as tthe so call friendships) that were pioson to me
or unhealthy for me.

I also had to face my fears...
That fear of..."what the fresia am I going to do now that i don't have those types of relationships anymore ???"
As unhealthy as it was for me...I was comfortible with it.
I had to break out of my comfortzone.