little Eddie

[lilE]

When I was a kid i remember being so popular in elementary school. I was athletic and a girl asked me out to the sixth grade prom. I was miss those days so much, they were the best time of my life. Also when i was a kid and the time I spent with my mother. I had such a happy childhood.

The quiet teeanger that i was, skinny old pimply teeanger. But I was in that phase until my early 20s.The I finally i fell in love with Liz, we were supposed to be together forever.It was love mixed in with depression and anxiety, brutal. and then after her, the loveliest girl came into my life, Eva. I loved you so much. You actually spoke to me, cared. And then of course there was Ellie, my patient that i adored, that I took care of. And since then I never found anyone so special in my life.

These days I am an addict and I can't even hide it. Pot keeps me motivated, xanax keeps me motivated, st ides keeps me motivated. Keeps me motivated to do what I have to to get these things. It is better than slicing myself up. I was actually about to trade a $1,000 worth desktop computer for like 6 dimes ($60). I am a fiend. I don't need anyone, no friends, no women, there are none around, just need my mother and my drugs. Otherwise I might as well be dead. No hope.

 

[bleed_the_freak]

I was a hardcore, long-term abuser of major narcotics. I got clean nearly twenty years ago. The best part about life after addiction is the appreciation you get for the simple things. Every day, sobriety is a wonderful gift. The ability to simply go for a walk, smell the air, see the world, etc. is like magic. You don't have to be "wrecked" by drugs. You can come out the other side, stronger, better, healed.

 

[theonly1theymake]

There's always hope. ALWAYS. Don't let your addiction define you. You'd be surprised how many people struggle with addiction- doctor's, lawyers,church elders,ect...addiction is obviously very difficult but it doesn't have to control your life-I know for many people it does-but for many people it doesn't. I don't condone drugs(and I also don't judge those that use them),but I believe a big part of the problem with them is the lack of help for those that struggle with them and that addiction is looked upon as a criminal issue rather then a health issue (at least in the U.S) If you research how other countries handle drugs you'd be amazed-you'd also be amazed at how successful their ways of going about it are.Actually many people believe if drugs were legal they wouldn't be the big deal they are,and there would certainly be less violence. I'd also like to point out that pot is legal in most states now and in my opinion not a drug-as far as xanax goes millions of people take it for anxiety,it's very common. I don't know the other one you mentioned but don't beat yourself up. Most the celebrities and successful people are addicts. I know(from dealing with family And friends that gave struggled) that addiction can make you withdraw from the world,friends and family- but you can change that. Go out and do things,force v yourself to go get a social life..A lot of people who do that end up so happy to be back in the real world they end up slowly stopping drugs. It soubds like you've had a good past,so make yourself a good future-just don't let your addiction control you..