Loner here

[ZynischeWirklichkeit]

Hi everyone! I call myself ZynischeWirklichkeit (German for CynicalReality). My name sounds masculine, but I am a lady. You can all call me Zyn.

I am a loner. Most of my time is spent alone in my bedroom. I have schizoaffective disorder (both bipolar disorder and schizophrenia disorder together). I also have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. My schizoaffective disorder causes me to isolate. I love being alone, usually, but occasionally, I long to talk to someone. I also am very afraid of driving, so I am limited as to where I can drive. I have problems trusting people. I question if I even have any real friends at this point. The "friends" I have, I rarely see. And when I see them, some of them take advantage of me. Some friends ask me to hang out with them, drive an hour away just to see them for only an hour. I have a lot of anxiety when hanging out with friends. So, it is very rare that I see my friends. I am also afraid of going into crowds. They cause me to have panic attacks.

Being alone is much more peaceful for me

Anyways, it is nice to meet you all!

 

[Sigma]

I was able to translate your name before you did so yourself, I guess that german I had in school wasn't completely useless after all

But anyways, welcome to ALL!
I have trust issues and a general dislike of crowds myself, but I'm sure you'll find some people you can trust here.
Less reason to be on edge all the time on the intertubes after all ^^

 

[Edward W]

Hi and welcome, make yourself at home!

 

[9006]

Hi there Zyn.

I though'd you'd slipped on your keyboard when I saw your name. So are you German?

Welcome to the site!

 

[ZynischeWirklichkeit]

Thanks for all the welcoming I already like this place!

@Sigma - You are so lucky to have been able to learn German in high school! My school only offered one language - Spanish. So, I ended up taking 6 years of Spanish. I took Spanish in middle school also.

@9006 - I am not German, but currently, I am learning German! I listen to a lot of German music, so, I thought that I really should learn German.

 

[Sigma]

@Sigma - You are so lucky to have been able to learn German in high school! My school only offered one language - Spanish. So, I ended up taking 6 years of Spanish. I took Spanish in middle school also.

We had French/German to choose from, English and Dutch being mandatory.

 

[ZynischeWirklichkeit]

Wow Sigma! So, you had a lot of learning to do when it came to languages. I wish my school was like that.

Does anyone know how I can edit my profile? I don't see an option as to how to edit it.

 

[Edward W]

Click on User CP next to log out (User Control Panel)

 

[ZynischeWirklichkeit]

Thank you very much for your help Edward!

 

[Sigma]

Wow Sigma! So, you had a lot of learning to do when it came to languages. I wish my school was like that.

Well only during the first 2 years, then we had to choose between either german or french, although in certain cases you could also have both.
Not me though, I just went with german, much easier than french when you're dutch
Easier than dutch even <_<

 

[perfanoff]

Welcome ZW

 

[fox]

Hello and welcome to ALL, Zin

 

[Doug4506]

Hi Zyn,

I am Doug from Pittsburgh. Was moved by your profile because I too suffer from mental illness--depression, anxiety and OCD.

We are both lonely too and I hope we can have a supportive and fun and good friendship here.

My profile here tells quite a lot about me. I have battled depression for decades but am determined to not let it beat me. I also suffer from anxiety and OCD. I currently do not work but have a special volunteer position for a non-profit organization here that helps to prevent at-risk youth from dropping out of school. When I have worked it has been in positions to try to "make the world a better place" both in politics and attempting to revitalize distressed city neighborhoods. I have also done much volunteer work in my life especially with at-risk youth. I am a devout Catholic and my faith has called me to a professional and volunteer life of serving others especially the less fortunate. Do you work?

For fun I like many things. Sports, politics, current events, photography, nature, walking my exercise/nature trail, comedy on You Tube, trivia, music, hanging out at coffee houses, ethnic food and my special cat Luke. Smile What do you like to do for fun?

I have one sister and several very special nieces and nephews. Do you have brothers and sisters?

May I ask where in NY you live?

How was your Saturday? I had an okay Saturday so far. Very, very rough start just holding it together with great anxiety. But went with my mother to Francisian University to pray and visit. It was a nice day here so I then walked/exercised on my nature./exercise trail. Now at my favorite coffee house.

What are your plans for Sunday. I am to see my best friend Anna who also suffers from mental illness.

I look forward to your reply and our friendship here. You can reply with a private message or email me at [email protected]

Thanks!

Doug

 

[ZynischeWirklichkeit]

Hi Doug! I am sorry to hear that you also suffer from mental illness. It is so hard to deal with! Depression is so terrible.

It is great that you volunteer and make the world a better place one step at a time! It takes a lot of courage and willpower to do that. It makes me happy that you are helping these young people. They are the ones that will be going into the workforce one day. I am proud of you for putting up with your depression and not letting it get the best of you! If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to message me.

I do not work. I do not go to school. I am on disability now. It is a shame that my brain works much slower now. I am only 23 years old. I got my associate's degree in general studies. I took courses of math and science. I took calculus 1,2,3, and differential equations. I also took calculus based physics. My brain works much slower now though due to my mental disorder, so I had to quit college. Work causes so much anxiety for me. My parents pressured me to work and I became too depressed. 3 times, I was in the psych hospital because of my depression and hearing voices last year. I get depression, mania, anxiety, and psychosis. The psychosis makes me be afraid of people.

I see that you like photography! That is awesome. I enjoy it too! For fun, I enjoy listening to music, taking long walks, looking at the stars, learning new languages, math, science, and horseback riding. I love nature. When I am manic, I enjoy something called urban exploration, which is basically exploring abandoned buildings. My family owns 4 barn cats, one indoor/outdoor cat (we live far away from the road), 1 dog, and 10 miniature horses. They are too small to ride, but they can still compete in horse shows. I also love to hang out online! There is one youtuber who I find to be hilarious. He plays online horror games and his reactions are hilarious

I have 1 sister. She is lucky because she has no mental illness. She leads a normal life.

I live an hour away from Buffalo, NY. I also live an hour away from Niagara Falls, NY.

My saturday was good! I am in an online weight loss competition and today was the first day, so, I got my excersise. The weather cooperated and I was able to get off the boring treadmill and go outside for a walk

It is great that you hung out with your mother and that you took a walk. Walking definitely helps with the anxiety!

On sunday, I plan to take my walk and relax the rest of the day I really should work on cleaning my bedroom though, if I can get the motivation.

My email is [email protected]

 

[ladyforsaken]

Hi Zyn, welcome to the forum.

 

[WildernessWildChild]

Hi Zyn,

I am Doug from Pittsburgh. Was moved by your profile because I too suffer from mental illness--depression, anxiety and OCD.

We are both lonely too and I hope we can have a supportive and fun and good friendship here.

My profile here tells quite a lot about me. I have battled depression for decades but am determined to not let it beat me. I also suffer from anxiety and OCD. I currently do not work but have a special volunteer position for a non-profit organization here that helps to prevent at-risk youth from dropping out of school. When I have worked it has been in positions to try to "make the world a better place" both in politics and attempting to revitalize distressed city neighborhoods. I have also done much volunteer work in my life especially with at-risk youth. I am a devout Catholic and my faith has called me to a professional and volunteer life of serving others especially the less fortunate. Do you work?

For fun I like many things. Sports, politics, current events, photography, nature, walking my exercise/nature trail, comedy on You Tube, trivia, music, hanging out at coffee houses, ethnic food and my special cat Luke. Smile What do you like to do for fun?

I have one sister and several very special nieces and nephews. Do you have brothers and sisters?

May I ask where in NY you live?

How was your Saturday? I had an okay Saturday so far. Very, very rough start just holding it together with great anxiety. But went with my mother to Francisian University to pray and visit. It was a nice day here so I then walked/exercised on my nature./exercise trail. Now at my favorite coffee house.

What are your plans for Sunday. I am to see my best friend Anna who also suffers from mental illness.

I look forward to your reply and our friendship here. You can reply with a private message or email me at [email protected]

Thanks!

Doug

Look, Spammer Dude strikes here as well. Look under every rock! Shake every bush! Poke the the tall grasses with a sharp stick! They live, they thrive, they seek new victims....

 

[Veruca]

Hi Zyn! Welcome!

 

[ladyforsaken]

Hi Zyn,

I am Doug from Pittsburgh. Was moved by your profile because I too suffer from mental illness--depression, anxiety and OCD.

We are both lonely too and I hope we can have a supportive and fun and good friendship here.

My profile here tells quite a lot about me. I have battled depression for decades but am determined to not let it beat me. I also suffer from anxiety and OCD. I currently do not work but have a special volunteer position for a non-profit organization here that helps to prevent at-risk youth from dropping out of school. When I have worked it has been in positions to try to "make the world a better place" both in politics and attempting to revitalize distressed city neighborhoods. I have also done much volunteer work in my life especially with at-risk youth. I am a devout Catholic and my faith has called me to a professional and volunteer life of serving others especially the less fortunate. Do you work?

For fun I like many things. Sports, politics, current events, photography, nature, walking my exercise/nature trail, comedy on You Tube, trivia, music, hanging out at coffee houses, ethnic food and my special cat Luke. Smile What do you like to do for fun?

I have one sister and several very special nieces and nephews. Do you have brothers and sisters?

May I ask where in NY you live?

How was your Saturday? I had an okay Saturday so far. Very, very rough start just holding it together with great anxiety. But went with my mother to Francisian University to pray and visit. It was a nice day here so I then walked/exercised on my nature./exercise trail. Now at my favorite coffee house.

What are your plans for Sunday. I am to see my best friend Anna who also suffers from mental illness.

I look forward to your reply and our friendship here. You can reply with a private message or email me at [email protected]

Thanks!

Doug

Look, Spammer Dude strikes here as well. Look under every rock! Shake every bush! Poke the the tall grasses with a sharp stick! They live, they thrive, they seek new victims....

Maybe Doug is just a very friendly guy.