Me venting. sorry

[Aedammair]

No I am not talking about suicide. Life just seems to be crushing down on me from all sides.

I have 0 contact with friends. The girl I care about is going through hell but there is nothing I can do to comfort her or anything. All I can do is sit at my computer and hope at some point she gets on. She doesn't realize what it does to me to know what she is going through. (I will not go into depth about her because it is not my story to tell)

My family is acting abnoxious. My little sisters won't stop picking at me and now my parents are trying to make us perfect and are enforcing stupid rules like speaking with finesse like we're scholars. we aren't swearing or anything so I don't get what the problem is. It drives me crazy. and then they act self righteous about it when in fact they do speaking isn't even up to par.

I just want all of this crap to end. I can't wait to get out of the house but I have to wait until the semester is up before I can ditch this place. I don't want to stay here! Gaaah! I know I am messed up and I am a total jerk. I am thinking too much about myself. I really can't take this much longer. I feel like I am going to explode all the time and I don't even have anyone to tell this too. I can't vent because then everyone around me will think I am crazy and these next few months will be even worse.

A pompous jerk is really getting on my nerves. But I can't do anything about it because I only see him at church and now that I am considered an adult I can get it serious trouble for fighting someone.

I am depressed all the time. This is the exact opposite of who I normally am (I think )

breathe... breathe... breathe... ok

I'm really sorry. I honestly needed to get all of this out or I was going to do something stupid. Yes I know I'm crazy. Not legally but who needs a stupid piece of paper. I know everyone who reads this will probably realize that I am a selfcentered jerk. I think I just need to get out of the house.

signing out,

Aedammair

p.s. sorry! hopefully I will be in a better mood later

 

[It was Mine]

Nope your not a jerk. Your going through what I think everyone goes through, well I did at least. Just give it time, soon you'll be out of there, job maybe university. And your new life will begin. When I'm going through a rough time I always think of the quote "The mind is its own place, and in it self. Can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven."

Step back and breath, And focus on what's left and what you're going to do next.

 

[Badjedidude]

I think it may be helpful in your situation to focus on getting yourself ready to get out of the house, if that's what you want. Nothing is worse than harumphing out of the house and giving the parents the all-holy "I don't need you" finger....and then realizing that you don't know how to file tax returns or renew/switch vehicle insurance or activate utilities or deal with health insurance.

If you don't want to have to tuck your head and shuffle back to the 'rents, put your energy into figuring out how things work right now. If you have a job, save the money for a down payment on an apartment or flat. If you don't have a job, get one! Just put your head down and soldier through everything, all the while getting closer to being fully ready to survive on your own. Trust me, it's easier to learn all that junk now instead of learning it on the fly.

I think you'll be fine....and nobody here minds a rant every now and then! ^_^

----Steve

 

[Minus]

Yes, don't be sorry. It sounds like you are just working out a direction. I hope things are going a bit better today.

 

[Spare]

Just remember, "this too shall pass".

 

[Aedammair]

Yeah things are a little better. I can't wait for all this to pass.
Thanks you guys. Honestly. Your posts helped me through a lot. I am trying to direct all of this energy towards something productive . I am figuring out living costs and getting estimates on how much I will need to make to survive.
I am working on chilling out. Giving my parents "the unholy finger" would just set me back and put me at ends with my parents. I don't want to hurt them and I don't feel like coming sobbing back for forgiveness and some money. Not so ideal. .
We'll see how all of this goes.

Thanks

Aedammair

 

[Badjedidude]

Haha yeah...that was my reasoning. There's nothing worse than snubbing the 'rents and then coming back, tail between the legs, asking for money. Lol that's a big pill to swallow and I've seen some people have to go through that. XD Pretty funny if you're not the one having to do it.

That's so awesome that you're working on costs and stuff...I think you'll find that if you keep it up, by the time you're out of the house, you'll be ahead of the curve...even able to help others out with the things you've learned, which is also a cool way to meet people.

Congrats! ^_^

----Steve